“The surest way to have less sex is to get married. I am a gay men who works intimately with heterosexual men on a daily basis and one thing I can say with certainty is that the majority of my married clients are either NOT having sex or having sex outside their relationship. If we are to believe the bible - and I don't - most of us, gay and straight; are living in sin when it comes to the boundaries - or lack thereof - of sex. I guess hypocrisy is not mentioned in the good book!
Keep up the good work Mark!”
“Turning 50 is quite reflective but it doesn't have to be a negative experience..
Please click on the link below to read this article from Vincent's POV Oct 1. It relates to Joe's article and at the same time expands on it.
May 24, 2011 at 11:05:52
“I am so glad you have written about this. It is such a huge part of my daily radar.
For years I was that "intentionist" guy who was more a chaos creator than anything else. Due to extreme circumstance changes in my life in the last 16 years, I have gone through a bit of what a consider to be a radical metamorphosis. In this new state of being I have become painfully aware of intentionitis in others as well as in me. Most of the times I have been able to follow through and squash the intentionitis syndrome in me but sometimes - like last week - I succumb to its wrath. I was the guy who had the date and still have the intention to call but have not. Oooppss!
Once gain the lesson for me is progress not perfection cause I can never attain the latter!”
hp blogger Mark Olmsted on May 24, 2011 at 11:36:57
“I know that I have been in that position countless times--as the would-be caller or callee. Non-verbal communication is a form of communication--if they don't call (or return my call) I consider it an indication that they experienced our time together differently than I did or something's happening off-screen (another relationship, a rebound) that I don't know about. It's been a relief to go from taking things personally to a position that all I have to worry about it being the best I can be and let go of the rest.
What I did start to notice is how the intention to do something increasingly seems to carry as much weight as doing something. You'll hear someone say "I love to go bungee jumping" and then find out they did it once--five years ago. Or "I've been going to AA meetings" and all they did was make one call to find out where there's a meeting on Tuesdays. And I think this is getting worse with modernity. Do you ever hear anyone say: "All I have is my word" anymore? It used to really mean something--it was very important to people. In some ways, the culture of "honor" is toxic -- we get honor killings or Robert E. Lee fighting for the south for the "honor' of Virginia. But in some ways, we have lost something beautiful--an investment in others trusting you mean what you said. Let's start "A Gentleman's Movement" eh?”