iOS app Android app
Clicking Follow Back will add user to your friends list and may allow access to your Social News timeline..

HuffPost Social News

Badges:
Your Badges and the Badge Module will be removed from your profile

WordsFailMe's Comments

View Comments:   Sort:
next
1 - 25
13 Things Every Man Should Buy Now That Will Make His Life Better In 20 Years

13 Things Every Man Should Buy Now That Will Make His Life Better In 20 Years

Commented Dec 6, 2013 at 00:27:17 in Style

“I have the most important thing sitting securely a few feet away under lock and key, here in my humble little South American hostel's private room: a passport.”
11 Imaginary Republican Enemies That Could Give Bigfoot A Run For Its Money

11 Imaginary Republican Enemies That Could Give Bigfoot A Run For Its Money

Commented Dec 5, 2013 at 13:09:38 in Politics

“You Sasquatch deniers never seem to have time to address the fact that the guy who taught my high school algebra class was obviously a Sasquatch. So there goes your theory.

And while I personally am opposed to Sasquatch fetus treats, kids still have the Second Amendment right to chew their Sasquatch fetus treats into the shape of Christmas trees decorated with automatic weapons. As long as they're not wearing turbans, of course.”

nnealj1 on Dec 5, 2013 at 14:15:18

“Hahaha...thanks for the chuckle...sadly, the Repubs are only too real, well, somewhat....”
NSA Tracking Billions Of Cellphone Records Daily: Report (VIDEO)

NSA Tracking Billions Of Cellphone Records Daily: Report (VIDEO)

Commented Dec 4, 2013 at 18:33:07 in Politics

“I'd urge NSA to get rid of their plan and instead switch to a prepaid SIM card. That way they'll stay ahead of their charges instead of getting a nasty surprise at the end of the month when all those billions of roaming charges come due...”
Was 'Bachelor' Producer Elan Gale's Airline Feud 'Casually Sexist'?

Was 'Bachelor' Producer Elan Gale's Airline Feud 'Casually Sexist'?

Commented Dec 3, 2013 at 19:47:26 in Women

“Well, I checked the batteries, I cleaned all the connections, and yet despite running this incident in both its fictional and nonfictional incarnations through my patented WordsFailMe Give-A-Hoot-O-Meter a few times, I cannot seem to make the needle move one iota. Next!”

cruzing9382 on Dec 3, 2013 at 23:05:56

“But you read the article and commented. Hoot Hoot.”

KissMyAsh on Dec 3, 2013 at 19:55:45

“You must have the old model that only displays positive iotas. Mine actually gave this a -5 iotas. Mild compared to the -100 iotas or more that anything Kardashian/Cyrus/Beiber/Rihanna-related usually scores.”
Americans Want Congress Members To Pee In Cups To Prove They're Not On Drugs

Americans Want Congress Members To Pee In Cups To Prove They're Not On Drugs

Commented Dec 3, 2013 at 08:15:09 in Politics

“If citizens think members of Congress will pee in cups to prove they're not on drugs, they (the citizens) are on drugs.”
Josh Brolin And Diane Lane Are Officially Divorced

Josh Brolin And Diane Lane Are Officially Divorced

Commented Dec 2, 2013 at 19:34:30 in Celebrity

“Fortunately, I am here to comfort and console Ms. Lane in this difficult time.”
Sharon Osbourne Says Getting Her Vagina Tightened Was 'Excruciating,' Talks Ozzy's Relapse

Sharon Osbourne Says Getting Her Vagina Tightened Was 'Excruciating,' Talks Ozzy's Relapse

Commented Dec 1, 2013 at 08:11:25 in Celebrity

“I'm in my 60s, so it's time I give serious thought to having my brain tightened.”
Lady Gaga And Joseph Gordon-Levitt Breeze Through 'Baby, It's Cold Outside' Together (VIDEO)

Lady Gaga And Joseph Gordon-Levitt Breeze Through 'Baby, It's Cold Outside' Together (VIDEO)

Commented Nov 30, 2013 at 15:32:15 in Entertainment

“Ray Charles and Betty Carter. Others render homage.”
These Photos Of Celebrities Eating Will Get You Excited For Thanksgiving

These Photos Of Celebrities Eating Will Get You Excited For Thanksgiving

Commented Nov 28, 2013 at 22:46:11 in Celebrity

“This slideshow is a revelation. I had always assumed that once someone became a celebrity he or she no longer needed to worry about trivial details like eating.

Suddenly everything's on the table. It wouldn't surprise me to learn now that celebrities' homes include bathrooms, and that those bathrooms are in fact used by those very celebrities.”

OneMercilessMing on Nov 28, 2013 at 23:52:34

“There is a persistent story that Barbra Streisand floats rose petals in her potty so that her delicate nostrils might not be offended by the stale water, urine, and fecal odors.

Hope she never has to go at a 7-11.”
Pizza Hut Employee: I Was Fired For Defending Thanksgiving (UPDATE)

Pizza Hut Employee: I Was Fired For Defending Thanksgiving (UPDATE)

Commented Nov 27, 2013 at 20:29:56 in Business

“I see both sides.

On the one hand, a principled, long-time employee is taking a stand to support his staff while maintaining the integrity of one of our most important holidays, keeping Thanksgiving a little bit freer from the consumerism and commerce that continue to poison American culture.

On the other hand: more pizza!”

momoftwodogs on Nov 27, 2013 at 20:38:13

“Really who eats pizza on Thanksgiving?”
The Types Of Sex Women Are Having More Than Ever Before

The Types Of Sex Women Are Having More Than Ever Before

Commented Nov 27, 2013 at 20:23:52 in Women

“I guess it'll be okay...as long as the invertebrates are all consenting adults...”
Controversial T. Rex Soft Tissue Discovery Finally Has An Explanation

Controversial T. Rex Soft Tissue Discovery Finally Has An Explanation

Commented Nov 27, 2013 at 19:26:14 in Science

“Problem is, all the kiddies will be clamoring to get a baby T. Rex for Christmas, then after the novelty wears off and Mom gets tired of cleaning a dinosaur's litter box, the T. Rex ends up at the local animal shelter or maybe the family just drives over to the park and lets it go.

That said, I'd love to volunteer with a T. Rex rescue group--you know, going out to feed feral T. Rex colonies, humanely trapping them to have them neutered, etc. How hard could it be?”
The Types Of Sex Women Are Having More Than Ever Before

The Types Of Sex Women Are Having More Than Ever Before

Commented Nov 27, 2013 at 19:05:48 in Women

“I couldn't bear to read this article. What if it turns out that women are having frequent sex with invertebrates--sea cucumbers, banana slugs, leaches? That simple fact would crush all the wonderful notions I've had about The Fairer Sex for lo these many years.

Nope, not gonna read it--wouldn't be prudent.”

alleypanther on Nov 27, 2013 at 20:20:24

“It's OK, it's nothin' like you think, it only deals with same sex, anal sex and hetero starting in 1990-1991 and 1999-2001, and 2010-2012. Youuu cannn dooo it, read it. {;~)”
Top-Secret Document Reveals NSA Spied On Porn Habits As Part Of Plan To Discredit 'Radicalizers'

Top-Secret Document Reveals NSA Spied On Porn Habits As Part Of Plan To Discredit 'Radicalizers'

Commented Nov 27, 2013 at 00:03:55 in Politics

“So I like to look at pictures of people dressed as nuns using bungee cords, tweezers, and Sriracha sauce to do kinky stuff to naughty plush toys. Is that so wrong?”

Talossa on Nov 27, 2013 at 00:09:24

“Allahu akbar.”

MonkeyDaddy on Nov 27, 2013 at 00:06:51

“If it includes men dressed as nuns that's just weird.”
You Won't Believe The Weird Sea Creature Mark Quartiano Caught Off Miami Beach

You Won't Believe The Weird Sea Creature Mark Quartiano Caught Off Miami Beach

Commented Nov 26, 2013 at 14:55:50 in Miami

“All this talk of ancient bloated slimy fishy bottom-feeding creatures reminds me that I haven't heard from my ex's divorce attorney recently.”
Everything You Know About Getting Warm Is Wrong

Everything You Know About Getting Warm Is Wrong

Commented Nov 25, 2013 at 22:04:24 in Healthy Living

“The best way to get warm is to do it with somebody, if you catch my drift.”
Animals Were Harmed: Hollywood's Nightmare of Death, Injury and Secrecy Exposed

Animals Were Harmed: Hollywood's Nightmare of Death, Injury and Secrecy Exposed

Commented Nov 25, 2013 at 20:11:58 in Green

“Yuck. Sorry I spent the money. Note to self: check these things out more carefully in the future; don't repeat the mistake.”
Photons Seen Without Being Destroyed For First Time Ever

Photons Seen Without Being Destroyed For First Time Ever

Commented Nov 25, 2013 at 20:05:10 in Science

“I could go for some quantum potatoes right about now... with a side of photon tomatoes...”
Luke Harding Passes Out Drunk In England, Wakes Up In Paris

Luke Harding Passes Out Drunk In England, Wakes Up In Paris

Commented Nov 24, 2013 at 20:33:54 in Weird News

“One evening approximately 29 years ago, my girlfriend and I were in a bar in San Francisco. The next morning I awoke in what was obviously a hotel room. While she snoozed in oblivion I went to the curtains and pulled them aside; imagine my surprise when I saw what was down below.

Disneyland.”

Jen Celli on Nov 25, 2013 at 13:54:58

“Great story. I think many of us of a certain age have a tale or two like that.”
Vatican Unveils Bone Fragments Said To Be St. Peter's (PHOTOS)

Vatican Unveils Bone Fragments Said To Be St. Peter's (PHOTOS)

Commented Nov 24, 2013 at 13:35:29 in Religion

“"It's not as if pilgrims who go to the altar (of Peter's tomb) think that in that moment in which they profess their faith that below them are the relics of Peter, or of another or another still," he told reporters. "They go there to profess the faith."

That is the nut. Reason is the nutcracker. The faithful need not fear reason; once the nut is cracked, its fatuous (if resilient and protective) shell can be discarded, leaving only the nutrition of truth held within.”
Adorable Lion Cub Loves Playing In Autumn Leaves More Than Anything In The World (PHOTOS)

Adorable Lion Cub Loves Playing In Autumn Leaves More Than Anything In The World (PHOTOS)

Commented Nov 21, 2013 at 23:14:39 in Good News

“Wild thing, you make my heart sing,
You make everything groovy,
Wild thing!”
FCC Considers Allowing In-Flight Cellphone Calls And Everything Is Terrible

FCC Considers Allowing In-Flight Cellphone Calls And Everything Is Terrible

Commented Nov 21, 2013 at 22:28:55 in Technology

“Someone needs to alert the airline industry that they could pack in a lot more passengers if they'd just arrange passengers like the slaves in the old Africa-to-America slave ships, or maybe like in the railroad cars the Nazis used to ship folks off to the concentration camps. I'm surprised the airlines haven't thought of this already.”
George Zimmerman's Estranged Wife: He's 'Like A Ticking Time Bomb'

George Zimmerman's Estranged Wife: He's 'Like A Ticking Time Bomb'

Commented Nov 21, 2013 at 21:47:11 in Crime

“I think we choose what kind of object we resemble. Mr. Zimmerman chooses to be a ticking time bomb.

I, on the other hand, choose to be one of those little stupid wind-up toys that bounces up and down while going in ever-larger circles before eventually falling off the edge of the table. Then somebody picks me up and puts me back on the table where I remain until somebody winds me up again.

True, it's not as headline-grabbing as "ticking time bomb" but it gets me through my busy day.”

darlinsass on Nov 21, 2013 at 22:09:36

“I love those little things. I have a couple around here somewhere. I haven't thought about them in ages. They always make me smile though. :)”
Jose Canseco Pulled Over With Goats In Car, Because Of Course (VIDEO, PHOTO)

Jose Canseco Pulled Over With Goats In Car, Because Of Course (VIDEO, PHOTO)

Commented Nov 21, 2013 at 19:55:07 in Sports

“Anyone who wonders why we haven't been contacted by intelligent beings from outer space hasn't been paying attention.”
Nine Things You Never Knew About Sperm (PHOTOS)

Nine Things You Never Knew About Sperm (PHOTOS)

Commented Nov 20, 2013 at 17:30:17 in Science

“Clearly, sperm need better marketing. To raise their profiles, I'd suggest getting sperm their own reality shows:
* Keeping Up With The Fallopians
* Real Sperm Of Long Island (Keokuk, Barstow, Taos, Billings, et al.)
* America's Next Top Zygote
* Ejaculating With The Stars
* Sperm Rehab
* Spunk'd”

Zaina Hussein on Nov 22, 2013 at 05:15:42

“haha”
next
1 - 25