Apr 8, 2014 at 10:04:03
“You can argue all day about which diet is best, but the proof is in the numbers. The 5 "Blue Zones" with the healthiest longest living folk are where you need to look. 2 of these communities are in the Mediterranean - so there you go.”
“Maybe, but we are moving forward not backward. Just look at the world: the countries with the highest standards of living are those where women have equal or nearly equal rights. Those with the lowest standards are those where women have few if any rights. There is a connection whether you "might like to pretend" and that is the reality.”
“I was in her shoes at one time. When I was first married I took on the lesser role of staying home, raising kids, and letting him make all the decisions. I thought I was happy too, until I realized neither of us were. We had it out, I got a job, and we became equal partners in decision making. We are both much happier now, because he is less controlling and he is interested in me as an smart confident person. I'm 100% sure that we would be divorced now if we hadn't balanced the power in our relationship.”
Asher Frost on Jan 9, 2014 at 10:21:58
“That's you, and honestly I am happy for you that you found what was not working and were able to correct it, as far too many relationships now end that I think could be fixed.
You are not her.
I know quite a few men who identify as submissive, they are only happy in relationships when they have no "Power" when someone else is making the "Big decisions" for them. I personally could not be in that type of relationship myself, but I am not them, so I do not try to push my feelings onto their happiness.
That's all I am trying to say here. You state "I don't care what she says, she's not fulfilled" like you know, and the fact is since you aren't her, you don't know.”
“Oh I know that, but religion gives men an excuse for their bad behavior. When society gives men too much power over women most will take advantage of it as we see today in Islamic countries.”
Amanda Lynn Larson on Jan 9, 2014 at 19:31:21
“I won't deny religion makes it easier! If you can said God lets you do it? Yeah. It's a nice party trick. I have to go back to the scriptures when I work with some women and address that right at the source.
Men have always taken advantage of power, whether it's religious or otherwise. Same for not a few women. I consider it more human nature, but I'm quite cynical.”
“I'm glad to hear that, but many Christians do use the Old to quote and make judgements on others.”
chw777 on Jan 9, 2014 at 13:47:40
“I understand your feelings. Some Christians are self-righteous and judgmental. They make the rest of us look bad and that is a shame. Just a side note. The Old Testament applies to all God's people, but the parts about stoning adulterers and gays etc was just part of the "Civil Law" that God gave to the ancient Hebrews". Not that God approves of adultery TODAY---but God has not given Christians a "Civil Law" we are to enforce.”
“I did misunderstand your original statement, but I still think a women being "submissive" even within a Christian marriage is settling for less than. I work with animals and the word "submissive" is used often when working with dogs. I take offense therefore, that a human being would use a word that I associate with dog behavior.”
HDK2020 on Jan 9, 2014 at 17:31:46
“I will simply leave you with this then. What current society uses as 'submissive' and the context in which the biblical principle is based on, are different. The term has undergone an extremely negative conotation. Candace uses the term so I definitely see where the confusion or offense would be taken.
We live in an age where independance and self reliance are considered good, and dependancy on someone other than yourself is considered bad. There are times where both cases can cause issues. There is alot more to the 'submissive' wife than just being told what to do, or to just follow what the 'controlling' husband says. I go back to George Carlin, ironically, and his quote about language and words. I am only paraphrasing, so it isn't exact.
Words by themselves have no negative or positive connotation. It is the person, or how a person uses that word, that gives it the negative or positive connotation.”
“That is strange because my husband and I are agnostic and somehow we have managed to have a very happy healthy marriage for 30 years. How do you explain that?”
HDK2020 on Jan 7, 2014 at 18:03:04
“Again, Read what I wrote and don't just take offense to my statement. I could take your statement, and disregard the content and say "guess you are settling", but that would be the wrong way to go about it. I am not sure what part of my writing you are referring to when you ask me to explain how an agnostic marriage has survived.
It seems you are looking for a knee jerk reaction from me, or just trying to be hip and sarcastic. What part is strange? How is my explaination for the 'submissive wife' biblical concept relative to your agnostic marriage? and what is it that you wish for me to explain? If you wish to converse on the topics, then reply. Otherwise, just keep going.”
“The military uses mind control so it can order young people from ordinary lives to run into danger and kill other human beings. To compare marriage to the military shows her lack of understanding of how the world works. When a women is President will she then take back her power?”
“People don't understand that we can have different roles in the household and still have an equal marriage. Women are better at some things and men at others, but neither should have sole control over the decisions in the household.”
Mattie on Jan 7, 2014 at 17:52:58
“I agree, the word submissive is just an offensive term, at least to me...if it works for them, good for them I guess. It's just so demeaning to hear a woman say that about herself though.”
“Wrong, being married for a long time means nothing if you are not happy. My parents were married for 45 years but were miserable and never found what works for them. I feel bad that my Dad died in that horrible marriage and never got away from her. Not sure why everyone keeps bring up the longevity of their marriage as proof that it's happy.”
“No thank you. It was disturbing enough to read the short story above. I've spent the last 26 years teaching my daughters to be strong, independent and self reliant. It has worked, because they are both in healthy relationships and their men adore them.”
clarissa49 on Jan 7, 2014 at 17:40:36
“My daughters are Christians and are adored by their husbands. I taught them to be strong, independent, and self-reliant when necessary. They are in safe, loving relationships with their husbands with Christ at the center of their marriages. No marriage is ever perfect. It takes two people working together to make it work. Too often people use the slightest reason to get divorced. Candace is not talking about submitting to abuse. In a Christian marriage, each is to submit to the other. Submission does not mean bondage, servitude, inferiority, and the like.”
“I've read many of these comments and I don't see people having a problem with her being a wife and mother. It's the fact that she allows her husband to make the decisions and give up her power to him. I know women who let their men make all the decisions and guess what happens when he dies or leaves - they are helpless, blubbering messes. Most women live longer then men and they need to be strong and independent beings.”
“And the church decided that women who lived alone were witches and as such should be burned alive.”
SabrinaII on Jan 7, 2014 at 22:37:45
“You have to love their reasoning on the dunking test to determine whether or not you were a witch. Thrown in the water, if you floated you were a witch and should be killed. If you drowned -- oops! -- our bad. You weren't a witch after all. Kind of sounded like they didn't like women and, unfortunately, not much has changed.”
“And as opposite they need to make decisions together to have the best outcome. Put together the 2 equal halves and you have a whole. If one half has more power then you don't have a whole.”
CASSIE60 on Jan 7, 2014 at 14:37:38
“Lisa you got my point. Woman can not be subservient to man if as the book says she was intended to be his complimentary opposite. His other half. You must have two equal halves to make a complete whole.......f/f for reading comprehension.”
“Men use the bible to justify controlling their wives. I see it with a relative - she isn't even allowed to have a separate e-mail address from him. He insists his daughters be home schooled and she is not allowed to work. Total control freak.”
Bellanova on Jan 7, 2014 at 16:28:26
“Typical, yes. American fundies have made female subjugation into almost an art form. Check out Quiverfull or Stay-at-Home-Daughters or Christian Domestic Discipline movements (if you haven't seen them yet).
What's ironic is that these folks are among those who decry Islam with its oppressive mores the loudest.”