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charles wilkins's Comments

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huffingtonpost entry

What Divorce Does To The Kids

Commented Jun 23, 2011 at 22:26:12 in Divorce

“Leah, I suggest you reread my post. I did, and I clearly discuss how children might benefit from witnessing their parents dealing openly with their emotions to get through the crisis and transition of divorce, because I judge that in some cases, it might be good role modeling and comforting to the children. My bottom line is that I wished my parents had been more expressive and less repressive when I was a teen going through their divorce. I am clear that their repression hurt me.”
huffingtonpost entry

What Divorce Does To The Kids

Commented Jun 19, 2011 at 14:48:42 in Divorce

“Really? Our kids need us to suck it up and cry alone to heal? Hmmm, well, I totally disagree. If the writer's kids are young, when they do need the parents to be strong and stable, they are not reading this blog. If they are teens or adults, I judge that some witnessing of their Mom grieving, processing, venting, and trying to make sense of the wicked curveballs is healthy, because these are deeply human activities and paths to healing. When my parents divorced when I was a teen, nobody said a word, so I had to make up the stories and deal with the feelings myself. I wish my Mom had been expressive like this writer; it would have given me permission to feel, vent, and most importantly to connect, rather than to sweep it all under the rug and repress it. Expressing anger and deep love, as the writer does here, are profoundly human and healing activities.”

Leah Swanson Schroeder on Jun 23, 2011 at 16:48:30

“Oh Charles, you should stop speed-reading and you would realize that I never suggested the CHILDREN need to deal with their emotions alone, but rather the PARENTS. For heaven's sake, read more closely before you spout.”

hp blogger Sally Fay on Jun 20, 2011 at 01:11:00

“Wow Charles, thank you. Your writing is so direct and such a relief to hear. Thank you so much. You are open, courageous, clear and wise. Namaste.”