“I don't know the details of the research method, but all of these 661 volunteers were evidently presented with blind-item choices, and had to choose from what was given to them rather than to offer independent ideas. On www.vibrantnation.com, a site for 50+ women, I've received stellar advice from women who've made cosmetic discoveries of surprising effect -- and affordabity. As we age, most of us need to think not merely of wrinkles but of cost as well, and Good Housekeeping does indeed present products in a reasonable prince range. GH would have done an even greater service if it had told older women to stay far, far away from heavy cover-ups except where major discolorations or scars are a problem.”
“Brian - Well said! If we expect to be vibrant after 50 it's a good idea to live a healthy lifestyle in the years before 50. I'm sorry about your hearing, but grateful that you shared your story. In addition to being a heads-up regarding safe use of firearms, it might help someone turn down the volume on the headset - how many decibels does one need, after all?”
Brian Hanrahan on Oct 14, 2013 at 21:00:07
The shock of my recent life was learning from the audiologist this morning (10/14) that two top-of-the-line 'Xino' hearing aids will set me back $5800.
And no help from Medicare.
The cheaper versions were $3300 a pair, but they weren't guaranteed to pick up speech outdoors under windy conditions.
And yes, headset volume is an evolving problem for the younger crowd.
Many pistol ranges now require headsets or earmuffs, especially indoors. I never saw headsets in the Army during the sixties.
“BoomerWiz -- You're so right that ageism is perpetuated by young writers who see the aging process as a distant inconvenience at best, and at worst the end of all enjoyment. You're working to end this way of thinking and so am I. It's a slow process, but our anti-ageism army is growing!”
“Ms Cyrus has smugly dismissed as sexually dead anyone over 40, and complained that "70-year-old Jew(s)" and other people "who are, like, 40 years too old" get in the way of her creativity. The shame is not that she is vapid; the shame is that we listen. That such a mediocrity is at the top of the music world speaks volumes about our culture.”
“wanderer12 - I like your thinking! I recently went to see a new doctor. I took a seat on the other side of his desk, and while we were still saying hello, he reached for his prescription pad. I had no ailments; he seemed disappointed. Western docs are still stuck in the pharm mode. We could learn lots from the not so pharmacological East. Thanks for your comments.”
wanderer12 on Oct 14, 2013 at 13:22:08
“Thank you. And to be clear I am not saying that it is all bad or that all Docs are bad. But when the companies that make the drugs are doing continuing education seminars and paying honorariums to people to write about the benefits of the drugs they sell it is a clear conflict of interest. Just as when one ortho group I went to insisted that I use their MRI facility, more expensive than others, because it was good and others were bad. Single payer, set fees, drug prices regulated. There are aspects of life and society that should not be market and profit driven. If riches are the goal their are plenty of jobs that won't compromise human health and safety.”
“Thanks, Walker. The media know sex is a good sell, and some writers think the best way to accomplish this is to sensationalize, exaggerate, or make coy statements about things they know nothing about. I admire your work because that's just what you DON'T do.”
“Renee -- Thanks for your thoughts on this issue. I agree that it will be a great day when we can stop having the "us" and "them" discussion and accept that sex is possible, probable, and (barring serious illness or disability) life-long.”
“wanderer12, you are so right about the psychological damage wrought by pharmaceutical companies. They have successfully convinced many men -- some as early as their 40s -- that it's only a matter of time before sex as they know it is over. Men whose sexual performance is robust into their 80s are men who've never bought into that nonsense.”
wanderer12 on Oct 14, 2013 at 12:18:50
“Well I always use what I call the aliens model. If aliens from space saw a series of ads light years from now how would they interpret what they see. That is what Big Pharma wants people to see. We can find other examples. Statins are one. Certainly useful but potentially very dangerous drugs that we are now seeing signs of the long term effects. Also, a mono view of health. For example I have genetically high cholesterol, not super bad but not great, and cannot take statins. Every year I get a blood test and the Doc says well we can try statins again. Umm well we could try bleeding me as well given my reaction. Or lets try Zetia save for the data that there is no evidence that Zetia improves cardiovascular health or prevents heart attacks. Now what is the balance. No high blood pressure, no issues with blood sugar, under 20% body fat, excellent physical fitness, annual carotid scans that show I have arterial structures of a 48 year old (am 54) and eat almost a 60% plant based diet. But of course I should take a regimen of drugs that are clearly contraindicated for me or one with no data to show it will do more than drain my financial resources. Hmm of course Big Pharma has no influence on the Docs recommendations.”
“I guess I meant "loving" in the "love 'em up" sense. I agree to your charge of misogyny. He famously used filthy language to dismiss women fans who innocently approached him for autographs -- or a kind (not gonna happen) word.”
“Excellent point, OtayPanky! It's true that for those who suffer financial difficulties, fights are mostly about money, or about underlying issues associated with spending, saving, how expenses are shared -- and for post-50s, how we save for / spend on our adult kids and grandchildren. Thanks for your comment. -- Sienna”
“I'm definitely with you on the gratitude, RustBeltCrooner! Divorced or widowed, it's good to be a non-combatant second time around. Thanks for letting us know there's somebody out there practicing the rules of sane relationships -- Sienna.”
RustBeltCrooner on Sep 3, 2012 at 16:13:06
“My girlfriend and I doing the same things we each did in our marriages. Unfortunately, we were both with partners who were incapable of reciprocating love. We both spent 20 years doing the right things with the wrong partner. This is very different from the typical blog post here. The experts tell us that blame for a failed marriage is always 50-50. You must live alone and not date for at least a year to figure out your part in the breakup. Nonsense --sometimes the blame is 0-100 or close to it and you can find happiness with a new person who is sane and mentally healthy. ”
“Sometimes I hear people talk about "creative fighting" and I think that's what not pushing the hot buttons must mean. We can't avoid disagreements, but you seem to be saying that time teaches us how to cope with them better. Thanks for your comment, BookQueen.”
“I'm grateful for your comment, taikan. It redirects my thinking to those for whom fighting may be a way of life, and hurtful enough to push people to the edge. I certainly agree that one shouldn't stay in a toxic relationship merely out of fear of not finding another partner. What I do advocate is doing what is sometimes hard work in order to maintain a relationship that has a basis in mutual love and respect, even though there are disagreements and disappointments.”
“This story makes such a compelling case for the importance of the EOL talk.Your father very clearly wanted to demonstrate his love and respect for you by opening this discussion. That yours was not a "warm and fuzzy" relationship makes it all the more poignant.
In its planning, a funeral can be an abstraction. There can even be a sort of romantic notion about it. We can imagine a tearful assembly of friends and relatives, the organ swelling with a mighty hymn, and later, sandwiches, cake, and fond reminiscence. Who doesn't want that?
The DNR order is the tough part. These documents often force us to confront the specter of our frail future selves helplessly confined to a hospital bed, wrapped in pain and fear. Executing a DNR order requires making some awful choices -- all interventions? all interventions except intubation? no interventions at all? These choices are manifestly devoid of all romance and they are very hard to make. Nevertheless, we owe it to our children to make these plans ourselves so they don't have to.”
“We are living in the first era of human history in which gender roles are being comprehensively tested. The Akin comment should have become more than a Twitter opportunity. It should be a national dialogue that could lead to breaking down some of the barriers you speak of, Barbara. But the upshot has been merely that liberals are disgusted and conservatives are embarrassed.
Your point about campus date rape is well taken. Where is the outcry against this and any other form of rape? One can only imagine that Akin and others who think as he does would dismiss the date rape phrase as colorful verbage concocted by those who wish to engage in promiscuity. Although there are many right-thinking men out there, Akin and his ilk are, sadly, only the tip of an iceberg.”
Barbara Hannah Grufferma on Aug 28, 2012 at 13:04:00
“Thank you for taking the time to read my article, and your points are solid. It's such an overwhelming problem--on many fronts--that's it's tempting to give in the sheer magnitude of it all and do . . . nothing. But, for the sake of my two daughters, and all daughters in this country, we need to, as you pointed out, have a national dialogue.
Let's continue the dialogue we have started here . . .