derekw007's Comments (413)

“Please wake me when Janice's mail man's bother's gardener's dog dies....”

“"Schuringa said he saw that Abdulmutallab had his pants open and he was holding a burning object between his legs...."

That's what she said,.”

“If she's 60 now, that meant she was 50 when she did Galaxy Quest with Tim Allen - and she was SMOKING in that blond wig.

She's a gorgeous woman..,.at any age.”

“that's because she looks like she's eaten a sandwich or two. I like my women to look human as well.”

“this is all Obama's fault.”

“Excuse me, but have you EVER read a BOOK? Each one of this things you mention that christians DON'T do, I can point to 5000 examples of Christians actually DOING through history.

Ever hear of the Inquisition? Or the Crusades? Or Witch Trials?

Your lack of historical perspective is glaring and completely negates your point. Thanks for playing.”

“Perhaps someone should contact the Polish Mafia about Mr. Beck...they will surely make him an offer he won't understand....”

“The Ladykillers”

“Please name any Premier or Primer minister of any western country that was a member of a racial minority of that country. I'll wait here........”

“All US preseidents born BEFORE Martin Van Buren were born in the British Colonies, as such were British subjects at birth and therefore foreigners or naturalized citizens - but we call them AMERICAN because they CHOSE TO BE American.

This is what non-Americans will NEVER get about this country. Its the only place - STILL - in the world that you have the opportunity to be treated as YOU deserve and not as your father deserved. It's not perfect and we tend to fall so heartbreakingly short of our ideals time and time again - but here a person with the name OBAMA can become president.

I have yet to see an "Obama" become PM of the UK, Chinese Premier or Russian President.”

“Our President is named Obama and the first American to win the NY Marathon in years is named Keflezighi - God, I love this country.”

“Uh, "others in his class". Do you have ANY idea what it took to me IN THAT class of men who were APOLLO astronauts?

You reek of pretentiousness - and it's people like you who make us progressives look bad. For 99% of the population, Buzz Aldrin is an extraordinaty human being. But to you, he's a monkey on top of a large roman candle.”

“I don't know how many Chief Justices of the the Supreme Court or Vice Presidents or astronauts that have been to the moon you have around your dinner table, but your brush off of them on your "impressed" scale indicates their must be many.

You must be a cowboy astonaut millionare yourself to not be impressed with boring people like Aldrin, Cheney and Renquist.

And I've given you a list - I'm not really your personal google - if you're interested further you can investigate it yourself.”

“So he's an alcoholic? So what? You may disagree with him and this he's a GOPer in Dem clothing, but his being an alcoholic really has nothing to do with the debate. Do you want a list of sober alcoholics that have done great things to change the world?

You can't preach the virtue of diversity and then put restrictions on what that is”

“It seems to me that everything you know about AA could fit on the head of a pin. Learning quantum physics is impossible if I'm loaded all the time. I know of many AAs that have went from the dregs of skid road to holding advanced degrees and having wonderful jobs.

But they got sober FIRST. And they didn't do it by taking vitamins or eating arugala. Or going to night school.

They did it by doing exactly the same steps that have worked for millions of others.”

“Anyone can get sober. It's staying sober that requires a higher power. At least that's what my experience tells me.”

“"Why so much of compassion for agassi and not for roman"?

Because Agassi did drugs and Roman anally raped a child after drugging her, admitted guilt in a court of law and then fled abroad to avoid sentencing....

See, there's a bit of a difference.”

“Your comment is idotic. Millions of people have gotten sober through AA and other 12 step groups. I've never seen a bible in an AA meeting - and I can tell you that the whole "willpower" deal you speak of "my choice" ignores all of the scientific evidence that addict's brains are different than those who are not addicts. Besides who died and made you an expert on addiction. Even if you overcame your own addiction and got sober - all you did is overcome YOURS. What does that have to do with anyone elses?”

“Gee - just a few months ago a guy gets arrested for yelling in his own home and now this.

It's not Obama who's taking out rights away, it's local cops that couldn't pass a Rorschach test without crib notes.”

“There is a part in the actual BOOK "American Psycho" (the thing on Paper w/Pages and Words and stuff) where Patrick Bateman runs into TOM CRUISE in an elevator. Cruise was a Book-Bateman Idol.

Did anyone READ THE BOOK before they made the movie?

Nothing new here, please move along.”

“Even if the guy had a gun - he'd have to shoot about eleventy thousand people in the eyes to kill as many people as Paula's cooking will. Note to Paula - Bacon is NOT a condiment. And the amount of butter on a muffin should not be be equal to twice the atomic weight of the muffin itself. And I don't remember seeing "tex-mex chilli cheese fries" on the Food Pyramid hanging on the wall in my doctor's office.”

“A M E R I C A.

Where's the COMMA?

Learn punctuation, dummy.”

“I'd really like to get through one single HuffPo article about a skit on Saturday Night Live without reading the following in the comments:

- "this is supposed to be funny?"
- "SNL stopped being funny when 'Chase/Murray/Murphy/Carvey/Hartman/Farley/Myers/Fey/Ferrell/insert name here' left the show.
- "i don't know why they don't pull the plug on this show"
- "the show is now stupid"
- "where is my foot medicine?'

SNL had one of it's most influential years last year - and now "Goin' Rouge" and "you betCHA" are up there in the cultural lexicon with "that's the ticket", "I'm and you're not", "isn't that special?", "schwing", "strategery" and myriad of other catch phrases.

I think it's HIGH TIME that boring, unfunny people stop complain how UNFUNNY they think SNL is - here's a newsflash...most of the skits have ALWAYS SUCKED. Especially the ones that come on after 12:15-25 or so. Where have you complainers been - do you EVEN WATCH THE SHOW?

One of the bad outcomes of the internet is that anyone with a couple of fingers and a cable modem is all of a sudden an entertainment critic or political prognosticator - even if they can barely gather up enough personal brainpower in their real lives to choose between hot mustard or sweet and sour sauce for their McNuggets before going back to work on their life-sized Beauty and the Beast Diorama.

Yeah, I went there.”

“I agree - why is 40K in bail necessary? Methinks the Quaids disputed charges and the innkeeper files a complaint cause they're rich. This just doesn't seem right -”

“I think he's leaving because NBC ran out of sandwiches. Hey Vince, try a salad...”