“Not sure how much we can draw sweeping generalizations on the basis of interviews with all of 40 couples conducted by graduate students. Interfaith families come in many more shapes and sizes than is covered by this article.
Co-Author - Doublelife: One Family, Two Faiths and a Journey of Hope”
hp blogger Susan Katz Miller on Mar 17, 2013 at 23:12:41
“The sample is small, but this is qualitative work. What is interesting to me is that growing up in an interfaith family, and drawing on a much larger group (over 300) in my own reporting, I came to many of the same conclusions.”
“Your article distorts Eisner's. Nowhere does she demonize non-Jews, nor Jews by Choice, although you accuse her of that twice. Nothing suggests she would be unhappy if her child married a Jew by choice.
This is not a small point - distorting Eisner's words to bolster yours does both Eisner and your readers a disservice.
Eisner says, "We need to figure out how to honor individual choice and the desire to move beyond ghettoization . . ." She knows times have changed. But regarding non-marriage, concern over inability to replace oneself need not be branded as somehow extremist. As to in-marriage (again, she says nothing to suggest this doesn't include Jews-by-choice), one can be respectful, admiring and accepting of people who aren't Jewish and still understand that mass intermarriage has had a net negative result. One could madly love their Catholic daughter-in-law, and still have concerns about their grandchildren's Jewish future .
I was intermarried for many years. My wife ultimately converted, not because of some "open tent" policy where anything was ok, but because Jewish substance was presented in a compelling way. In fact, we just wrote about our journey from intermarried to Jewish (Doublelife: One Family, Two Faiths and a Journey of Hope - www.doublelifejourney.com).
I was not in the least insulted by Eisner's article. Her concerns are real, and our Jewish community needs reality as a starting point, not simply "killing the messenger" and pretending that all will be ok.”