esgabel's Comments (116)

“O.K.

If you say so.”

“Spoken like someone who has never *had* to work outside the home to make ends meet.”

“that's funny - I never thought that my mother choose to have a career over her kids but when the father left her with 3 kids under the age of 5 what else was she supposed to do? I would have loved to have had more time with her and less time with the dishes but my mother had no choice and thankfully had the education and was a Nurse or we would have been completely lost for the father thoroughly removed himself from financial responsibility. No one chooses to work 12 hours a day to fund her family and not spend any time with them.”

“I just wonder why we expect less from ourselves (or more?) than we do from our kids.

Would we expect our children to find their personal fulfillment through being with us 24/7? Certainly not. We'd think that was wrong, selfish, crippling. But we demand it of ourselves. Find happiness by being with your children 24/7. Well, for those who DO find fulfillment that way, and who do have the financial resources to do it, then that's the best of worlds for that person. But I just don't think it's an either/or situation. I think it is actually possible to be a "working mother"--a woman with a career or vocation outside the home--and be also a loving mother, an engaged mother, and a mother who leaves their children feeling loved and appreciated.

Maybe it just isn't possible for some women to fulfill themselves totally and stay home 24/7. So then should they be martyrs to their children? I'm sure their children don't want that and would be more damaged by that than helped.

I just think that we too often frame this as an either/or conversation, based on certain questionable assumptions. I'd ask to consider the possibility that it isn't "either/or" and that it is possible to raise happy children AND work hard in the world beyond the four walls.”

“esgabel -- your childhood sounds very similar to mine. Except that you were younger (I was 9) when your father died and your mother became the sole provider. I guess I was lucky to enjoy cosy family life a little longer than you, so I never felt any real sense of abandonment, let alone resentment. On the contrary, I saw my mother as an incredible role model -- it seemed to me that there was absolutely nothing she couldn't do, no problem she couldn't solve, nothing she couldn't fix. And when she did have time for her kids, it was magical and fun. I hope I can live up to her standards.”

“It truly seems as if the apologists here cannot see the connection­....”

“I have had what was to me a very profound "religious" experience (you can read about it on my blog, available through my profile, if you are really interested). But I do not--I cannot--simply accept it at face value. I cannot discount the possibility that what I experienced was wholly a product of myself, in spite of the fact that it felt like I was being touched by God.

Yes, we need to respect each other. Respect the person. But that does not extend to beliefs. Beliefs are worthy of respect only to the degree that they are representative of objective, not subjective, truth.”

“Permit me to paraphrase: Show me compelling evidence that unicorns don't exist...

Well, sometimes the absence of evidence is, in fact, evidence of absence.

With respect to the God hypothesis (assuming the standard Judeo-Christian interpretation), there is a distinct lack of evidence.”

“As the religious party, you bear the burden of proof. Show me proof your god exists, or for that matter show me proof that Zeus, Aphrodite, Mithras, Dionysus, or Amon Ra exists. The secular party needs no proof of anything supernatural, and the creation of life has already been more or less proven with the theory of evolution.”

“"Show me compelling evidence that God doesn't exist..."

One cannot prove a negative. For example, I cannot prove you are not a kumquat or not a flower. I can only prove what you are. Same goes for God. The burden of proof always lies with the one making the extraordinary claim (God exists), not with the one who sides with the negative opposite of that claim. The same standard applies to the Big Bang. Science must prove this is true. A person who finds this claim incredulous need prove nothing.

S”

“Whereas you did not consider the beatings as a form of communication telling you that your parents regretted your existence? I think that telling a child that not having children is an acceptable life style is as important as telling a child that being gay is acceptable.”

“There's a version in English that's a million times more adequate than Terry Jacks'... By Elly Stone, on her "New Legend of the Ancient Mariner" lp. Hasn't been issued on cd, but if you're a Brel fanatic with a turntable, it's well worth tracking down.”

“If people who don't have a genetic reason why they are obese eat a diet high in calories and fat and rarely exercise, they are making a choice to be fat.”

“Bingo! Well said.”

“Fat is an easy target and visible. Thanks to privacy laws, nobody can see your blood pressure. And trust me, fat people are already punished by their insurance companies. Catastrophic coverage alone for me would cost over $700 per month--more than my rent--and wouldn't even cover any of the conditions that fat people are believed subject to--it would cover only accidents, and "fat people don't engage in sports." (My rail-thin brother died of complications from diabetes in his early 30s. I haven't been diagnosed with anything worse than mumps since 1959.)

Health is a much more complex issue than mere weight. While true that as a general rule of thumb, fat people may be more likely to be predisposed to certain conditions, there are thousands of factors that go into health. Everything that goes into your body affects your health--sights, smells, even music. Should we tax people who listen to rap music because it's not as healthy for you as classical music?”

“I just hate it when Canada is referred to as "other".”

“Agreed.”