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Tarmac Delays Limited: Government Imposes 3-Hour Limit
Commented Dec 21, 2009 at 13:15:17 in Business
“Truly we live in an age of wonders!
With toay's ruling,
NOW consumers have the luxury of only three (3) hours of waiting on the tarmac,
and only two (2) hours without food, water, or toilet.
(cue piano, "Leavin on a Jet Plane")
All my bags are scanned / I'm ready to go /
Squeezed in a seat /between large /people I don't know /
Six hours ago had too much coffee / said goodbye,
We've been on the tarmac / the flight's delayed /
Coulda stayed in bed for all the progress I've made /
Shoulda tried a bus - - or Amtrak for my ride /
Don't feed me or water me / in fact you need not toilet me /
Treat me like I never have to go /
Cause I'm sittin on the tarmac /
Three hours and they can turn their back /
O babe / I gotta go.
Planet Washington
when news breaks, we fix it”
With toay's ruling,
NOW consumers have the luxury of only three (3) hours of waiting on the tarmac,
and only two (2) hours without food, water, or toilet.
(cue piano, "Leavin on a Jet Plane")
All my bags are scanned / I'm ready to go /
Squeezed in a seat /between large /people I don't know /
Six hours ago had too much coffee / said goodbye,
We've been on the tarmac / the flight's delayed /
Coulda stayed in bed for all the progress I've made /
Shoulda tried a bus - - or Amtrak for my ride /
Don't feed me or water me / in fact you need not toilet me /
Treat me like I never have to go /
Cause I'm sittin on the tarmac /
Three hours and they can turn their back /
O babe / I gotta go.
Planet Washington
when news breaks, we fix it”
How Health Lobbyists Influenced Reform Bill
Commented Dec 20, 2009 at 12:18:24 in Politics
“As we "reported" in the Fall at PLANET WASHINGTON
(to the tune of Spoonful of Sugar)
"Just a PAC contribution helps the health reform stay down,
the health reform stay down, health reform stay down,
Just a PAC contribution helps the health reform stay down,
in the most time-honored way."
www.Planet Washington
when news breaks, we fix it
wicked funny musical political satire”
(to the tune of Spoonful of Sugar)
"Just a PAC contribution helps the health reform stay down,
the health reform stay down, health reform stay down,
Just a PAC contribution helps the health reform stay down,
in the most time-honored way."
www.Planet Washington
when news breaks, we fix it
wicked funny musical political satire”
cipotffo replied on Dec 20, 2009 at 12:21:54
“pass”
George Carlin: The Last Words of America's Greatest Comedian
Commented Nov 17, 2009 at 10:03:29 in Comedy
“A Genius. He looked at life and made you laugh at "what fools these mortals be." I saw him at the Warner Theater in DC the year he died (before his actual death he might point out for the benefit of the extended Palin family and the hard of thinking).
I'm a modern man,
A man for the millennium,
Digital and smoke free.
A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist,
Politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect.
I've been uplinked and downloaded.
I've been inputted and outsourced.
I know the upside of downsizing.
I know the downside of upgrading.
* * *
I don't snooze,
So I don't lose.
I keep the pedal to the metal,
And the rubber on the road.
I party hearty,
And lunch time is crunch time.
I'm hanging in,
There ain't no doubt.
And I'm hanging tough,
Over and out.”
I'm a modern man,
A man for the millennium,
Digital and smoke free.
A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist,
Politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect.
I've been uplinked and downloaded.
I've been inputted and outsourced.
I know the upside of downsizing.
I know the downside of upgrading.
* * *
I don't snooze,
So I don't lose.
I keep the pedal to the metal,
And the rubber on the road.
I party hearty,
And lunch time is crunch time.
I'm hanging in,
There ain't no doubt.
And I'm hanging tough,
Over and out.”
From The Pentagon To Monty Python: The Internet Turns 40
Commented Oct 30, 2009 at 11:05:27 in Technology
“Happy 4oth Internet! Thank you DARPA. Thank you Al Gore. And Thank you Ted Stevens for "the series of tubes" that has democratized information - of every quality - more than anything since the printing press.”
Gates Crowley Beer Summit! Part Deux
Commented Oct 30, 2009 at 10:11:58 in Politics
“We welcome Professor Gates & Policeman Crowley having, as reported, an hour long meet in a Cambridge, MA watering hole. This is further validation of the wisdom of The Nobel Prize Committee's awarding The President a Nobel Peace Prize for engineering a truce in the longest running battle in America - town vs. gown.
As we reported at the time of Beer Summit I:
The Professor, Policeman, and President. Where else can a diverse clientele work out problems over brewskies. Intellectual Frasier Crane, opinionated but good hearted civil servant Cliffie Clavin, celebrity host, Sam Malone. Only 1 missing (Norm!). You may be well known but you're only really famous when...
Barack's - Where Everybody Knows Your Name!
Parody of "Where Everybody Knows Your Name"
Performed in Cambridge, recorded by PBS
http://for
"Comin home from a long lecture tour /
To find your door is jammed /
And your oh so helpful next door neighbor /
Has decided to call the man/
Wouldn't you like to get away? /
Where everybody knows your name. /
And they're always glad you came. /
You wanna go where people know. /
Our troubles are all the same. /
But you're only "famous" when the Cambridge cops know your name!"
Norm! -er - Rahm!
Planet Washington
when news breaks, we fix it”
As we reported at the time of Beer Summit I:
The Professor, Policeman, and President. Where else can a diverse clientele work out problems over brewskies. Intellectual Frasier Crane, opinionated but good hearted civil servant Cliffie Clavin, celebrity host, Sam Malone. Only 1 missing (Norm!). You may be well known but you're only really famous when...
Barack's - Where Everybody Knows Your Name!
Parody of "Where Everybody Knows Your Name"
Performed in Cambridge, recorded by PBS
http://for
"Comin home from a long lecture tour /
To find your door is jammed /
And your oh so helpful next door neighbor /
Has decided to call the man/
Wouldn't you like to get away? /
Where everybody knows your name. /
And they're always glad you came. /
You wanna go where people know. /
Our troubles are all the same. /
But you're only "famous" when the Cambridge cops know your name!"
Norm! -er - Rahm!
Planet Washington
when news breaks, we fix it”
Cavil replied on Oct 30, 2009 at 11:30:31
“See now there's no place for this kinda stuff. you ether h@te the guy or think this is the best thing since white bread(nothing bad intended,if you like make pumpernickel)”
Rep John Larson: Political Fundraising Now "Borders On Insanity"
Commented Oct 15, 2009 at 13:34:20 in Politics
“You must raise $1,300,000 to keep a job that pays $160,000 - and they put you in charge of the Federal budget. Now I get it.”
Analysis: NKorea widens threat, limits US options
Commented May 25, 2009 at 17:29:18 in World
“N Korea...Ir
justsomeguywhocameby replied on May 25, 2009 at 17:48:52
“OMGZ
PIRATES!!!!!”
PIRATES!!!!!”
Obama: North Korea "Recklessly Challenging" World With Nuclear Test
Commented May 25, 2009 at 15:49:19 in Politics
“Time for TEAM AMERICA to swing into action! AMERICA...
AnnHiro replied on May 25, 2009 at 15:51:14
“ha ha That was a funny movie but we had made the kids leave during the bad parts.”
Who Needs Republicans With Democrats Like This
Commented May 25, 2009 at 15:42:08 in Politics
“Senate Democrats wanted the majority in the worst way.
They recruited Governors Zell Miller and Ben Nelson.
Mission accomplished.”
They recruited Governors Zell Miller and Ben Nelson.
Mission accomplished.”
Suyu replied on May 26, 2009 at 11:59:41
“Nelson has been in the Senate long before the Democrats went after the present majority. And anyway, Nelson, when he could not get traction with the NE GOP, chose to be a NE Democrat which means he had to run to the right of his GOP opponents. He is no more a principled Democrat (oxymoron?) than Arlen Specter, if not less so.”
RNC Chair Steele On GOP: "No Reason, None, To Trust Our Word" (VIDEO)
Commented Feb 14, 2009 at 18:26:30 in Politics
“Steele's 15 minutes us running out fast!
Too bad for comedians and Dems..”
Too bad for comedians and Dems..”
mckinley replied on Feb 14, 2009 at 23:10:03
“Don't hold your breath --
GW Bush went on for eight years after his 15 minutes were up...”
GW Bush went on for eight years after his 15 minutes were up...”
Caption This Photo; Vote For Yesterday's Winner!
Commented Feb 09, 2009 at 19:19:28 in Comedy
“Mmm. Rich one. They'll probably blame the dog.”
Eliot Spitzer To Write Column For Slate
Commented Dec 04, 2008 at 09:02:01 in Media
“Slate editor on Spitzer: "He's going to be doing a regular thing."
Really? That's not what we heard. But keep your socks on!
Love Client No. 9.
Love Potion No 9 Parody
He was the Gov’nor of the Empire State,
Valentine’s eve in DC with no date.
So to the Emperor’s Club he had to drop a dime,
Booked a date with Kristin for - Love Client No. 9.
He once crusaded against crime and graft,
But now unzipped, our hero feels a draft.
He prosecuted Staten Island hookers as well
But got himself in trouble in The Mayflower Hotel.
He paid for Kristin to take Amtrak from NYC,
Outsourcing business costing local talent their fee
4,000 bucks or more, for just 2 hours of her time,
Said he was short on cash, Amex is fine
The moral of this sordid tale be known,
On Valentine’s you shouldn't stray from home.
Trouble can happen, when events like this unfurl,
And bring together the two oldest. professions in the world.
Love Client No. 9.
www.Planet
Really? That's not what we heard. But keep your socks on!
Love Client No. 9.
Love Potion No 9 Parody
He was the Gov’nor of the Empire State,
Valentine’s eve in DC with no date.
So to the Emperor’s Club he had to drop a dime,
Booked a date with Kristin for - Love Client No. 9.
He once crusaded against crime and graft,
But now unzipped, our hero feels a draft.
He prosecuted Staten Island hookers as well
But got himself in trouble in The Mayflower Hotel.
He paid for Kristin to take Amtrak from NYC,
Outsourcing business costing local talent their fee
4,000 bucks or more, for just 2 hours of her time,
Said he was short on cash, Amex is fine
The moral of this sordid tale be known,
On Valentine’s you shouldn't stray from home.
Trouble can happen, when events like this unfurl,
And bring together the two oldest. professions in the world.
Love Client No. 9.
www.Planet
Obama's Life With The Secret Service (SLIDESHOW)
Commented Nov 19, 2008 at 23:36:13 in Style
“God Bless the Secret Service.
That pic of Sasha makes me think of a Norman Rockwell print from another era of a little girl as cute, as young, but in a segregated America. A preacher shared "a dream" and how sweet it is that this little girl - and all of us - see the dream fulfilled.”
That pic of Sasha makes me think of a Norman Rockwell print from another era of a little girl as cute, as young, but in a segregated America. A preacher shared "a dream" and how sweet it is that this little girl - and all of us - see the dream fulfilled.”
onecorgilover replied on Nov 20, 2008 at 14:28:12
“That girl was Ruby Bridges...
Yalegirl03 replied on Nov 20, 2008 at 09:58:15
“Yes, that is an apt comparison. How lovely is it that now such a picture is not of a little black girl needing protection from racists as she attends school but of a little black girl who needs protection because she is the first daughter?”
Minnesota Recount Begins, Both Coleman And Franken Have Lost Votes
Commented Nov 19, 2008 at 23:28:20 in Politics
“Franken AND Coleman Lose Votes As They Recount?
Simple solution: Al, you STOP Counting: let Coleman KEEP counting.
-from the Sarah Palin Playbook”
Simple solution: Al, you STOP Counting: let Coleman KEEP counting.
-from the Sarah Palin Playbook”
Tom Daschle: Health And Human Services Secretary
Commented Nov 19, 2008 at 23:24:18 in Politics
“Daschle is a good man - smart and honest - and he knows the subject matter problems and options, he knows the Hill, and the governors who will beat a path to his door for state budget relief for growing Medicaid costs. He's a pragmatic progressive. We need more like him.”
Carolab replied on Nov 19, 2008 at 23:45:52
“Go read the Democratic Underground about Daschle. They don't share your views about him being so "good" and all.”
Hillary Clinton: Secretary of State
Commented Nov 19, 2008 at 23:11:28 in Politics
“No Drama Obama? New York's Junior Senator (and spouse) Welcomes You:
"WELCOME BARACK TO BROADWAY"
(Give My Regards To Broadway)
(A Duet, Hill & Bill)
Welcome Barack to Broadway.
You wanted one? You get the pair.
Tell Condi Rice at Foggy Bottom now
That we will soon be there. (We'll be there!)
Whisper of how we're yearning
To mingle with the worldwide throng. (H: Allies? B: Donors!)
Welcome Barack to old Broadway
With luck we won't be stuck here long.
(Bill: Yeah, there's this little white house we have our eye on)
www.Planet
When news breaks, we fix it.”
"WELCOME BARACK TO BROADWAY"
(Give My Regards To Broadway)
(A Duet, Hill & Bill)
Welcome Barack to Broadway.
You wanted one? You get the pair.
Tell Condi Rice at Foggy Bottom now
That we will soon be there. (We'll be there!)
Whisper of how we're yearning
To mingle with the worldwide throng. (H: Allies? B: Donors!)
Welcome Barack to old Broadway
With luck we won't be stuck here long.
(Bill: Yeah, there's this little white house we have our eye on)
www.Planet
When news breaks, we fix it.”
'Wal-Mart Watch' Folding Into Union, Will Focus On Obama Agenda
Commented Nov 19, 2008 at 23:01:01 in Politics
“Wal-Mart Parody (Under the Boardwalk)
When I need a shovel or a brand new suit of clothes,
There is one-stop shopping in a place that everybody knows.
I shop at Wal-mart, to buy my teddys, tools, or tires.
At the snack bar with my baby that’s where I’ll be.
I go to Wal-Mart, for shoes and socks,
_____________, for watches and clocks,
_____________, for crackers and cheese,
_____________, for my BVDs,
_____________, Wal-Mart.
When the plant shut down, they moved production overseas,
I got a job in sales, I sell imported clothes and cheap TVs.
I work at Wal-Mart, where I sell cameras and VCRs,
If it ain’t made in China well that’s news to me.
I go to Wal-Mart, to buy a phone,
_____________, for a subprime loan,
_____________, for a new backpack,
_____________, for my Prozac,
_____________, Wal-Mart.
When I fell behind they took my credit cards and house away,
I searched in vain for a decent place for me my dog and wife to stay.
Now I live at Wal-Mart, between the housewares and sporting goods,
Cookin’ breakfast on the Coleman, is where I’ll be.
I live at Wal-Mart, seven twenty-four,
_____________, park right by the door,
_____________, got a photo place,
_____________, I wear a smiley face,
I live at Wal-Mart, Wal-mart!
www.Planet
When I need a shovel or a brand new suit of clothes,
There is one-stop shopping in a place that everybody knows.
I shop at Wal-mart, to buy my teddys, tools, or tires.
At the snack bar with my baby that’s where I’ll be.
I go to Wal-Mart, for shoes and socks,
_____________, for watches and clocks,
_____________, for crackers and cheese,
_____________, for my BVDs,
_____________, Wal-Mart.
When the plant shut down, they moved production overseas,
I got a job in sales, I sell imported clothes and cheap TVs.
I work at Wal-Mart, where I sell cameras and VCRs,
If it ain’t made in China well that’s news to me.
I go to Wal-Mart, to buy a phone,
_____________, for a subprime loan,
_____________, for a new backpack,
_____________, for my Prozac,
_____________, Wal-Mart.
When I fell behind they took my credit cards and house away,
I searched in vain for a decent place for me my dog and wife to stay.
Now I live at Wal-Mart, between the housewares and sporting goods,
Cookin’ breakfast on the Coleman, is where I’ll be.
I live at Wal-Mart, seven twenty-four,
_____________, park right by the door,
_____________, got a photo place,
_____________, I wear a smiley face,
I live at Wal-Mart, Wal-mart!
www.Planet
fedupinfla replied on Nov 20, 2008 at 09:09:18
“Thats funny as hell”
Cheerful Lieberman: I Wasn't Punished At All
Commented Nov 19, 2008 at 22:47:51 in Politics
“"Reunited and it feels so good..."”
Malamati replied on Nov 19, 2008 at 22:57:06
“One of the 10 worst songs anyone ever wasted mylar tape on. Well,worst 20 anyway.”
Cancel All Gifts! Sorry, But No One Gets Anything This Year
Commented Nov 19, 2008 at 11:23:05 in Style
“Invest In Amrica
This Year Give Them A US Savings Bond!
It May Not Sparkle like a Diamond,
But It May Give Our New Government More Capital
To Reinvest in Mortgages, Infrastructure, and Jobs
- without having to borrow it from China and others and add to the deficit.
During WWII the successful War Bond effort with mass public support and industrial cooperation turned the US into the "Arsenal of Democracy" that built the tanks that won the war.
Is today's economic "crisis" any less compeling?
Invest In America
gmail.commericaplan@gmail.com”
This Year Give Them A US Savings Bond!
It May Not Sparkle like a Diamond,
But It May Give Our New Government More Capital
To Reinvest in Mortgages, Infrastructure, and Jobs
- without having to borrow it from China and others and add to the deficit.
During WWII the successful War Bond effort with mass public support and industrial cooperation turned the US into the "Arsenal of Democracy" that built the tanks that won the war.
Is today's economic "crisis" any less compeling?
Invest In America
gmail.commericaplan@gmail.com”
Lighten Up, America
Commented Nov 08, 2008 at 11:00:48 in Politics
“He got the laugh before he mentioned Nancy Reagan. On a rare unguarded roll...
I thought his call to Mrs Reagan showed class.
Speaking of "Fancy Nancy," she showed her sense of humor and political sense when she addressed her designer clothing and expensive White House "China policy" flaps at the Gridiron dinner singing Second Hand Rose -- which humanized her and deflated and even won over critics - a lesson that Gov Palin might benefit from today:
I'm wearing second hand boots, I'm wearing second hand clothes,
That's why they call me Wasilla's Second Hand Rose
Even the tanning bed that's in our parlour,
The First Dude bought for ten cents on the dollar.
Second hand pearls, I'm sick of second hand curls,
I never get a single thing that's new.
Even JOE THE PLUMBER he's the man I adore,
He had the nerve to tell me he's been married before - and before - and before.
Ev'ryone knows, That I'm just Second Hand Rose,
From Second Avenue,
In the SECOND SPOT that's true
But just for now! You Betcha! [wink! wink!]”
I thought his call to Mrs Reagan showed class.
Speaking of "Fancy Nancy," she showed her sense of humor and political sense when she addressed her designer clothing and expensive White House "China policy" flaps at the Gridiron dinner singing Second Hand Rose -- which humanized her and deflated and even won over critics - a lesson that Gov Palin might benefit from today:
I'm wearing second hand boots, I'm wearing second hand clothes,
That's why they call me Wasilla's Second Hand Rose
Even the tanning bed that's in our parlour,
The First Dude bought for ten cents on the dollar.
Second hand pearls, I'm sick of second hand curls,
I never get a single thing that's new.
Even JOE THE PLUMBER he's the man I adore,
He had the nerve to tell me he's been married before - and before - and before.
Ev'ryone knows, That I'm just Second Hand Rose,
From Second Avenue,
In the SECOND SPOT that's true
But just for now! You Betcha! [wink! wink!]”
Art, Politics and Soul in New York
Commented Nov 06, 2008 at 10:01:35 in Style
“As ye sew, so shall ye reap.
Having won positively, Obama has an opportunity and the moral authority to govern positively.
The positive tone of Obama's campaign, appealing to our better angels, appealed to Americans of many stripes weary of the say-anything win-at-any-cost politics of public deception and personal destruction - making big elections about little things.
We can bring the same moral power he used to win on Planet Earth, to help him govern on Planet Washington. Yes we can. Yes we will..”
Having won positively, Obama has an opportunity and the moral authority to govern positively.
The positive tone of Obama's campaign, appealing to our better angels, appealed to Americans of many stripes weary of the say-anything win-at-any-cost politics of public deception and personal destruction - making big elections about little things.
We can bring the same moral power he used to win on Planet Earth, to help him govern on Planet Washington. Yes we can. Yes we will..”
Saturday Night Live Keith Olberman Skit Planned
Commented Nov 01, 2008 at 00:15:35 in Media
“Keith - the sincerest form o' flattery. Looking forward to thrown script, breaking glass, and lots of baseball references and perhaps a meandering Reaganesque bball story...wi
A Preamble to Election Night
Commented Oct 31, 2008 at 23:44:25 in Politics
“Landslide or Upset headline?
How about: AMERICA TO PALIN-McCAIN: STIFLE YOURSELF”
How about: AMERICA TO PALIN-McCAIN: STIFLE YOURSELF”
breezyholler replied on Nov 01, 2008 at 12:51:05
“We Need to hand the McCain/Palin ticket a stifling defeat....
OBAMA/BIDEN @ WE THE PEOPLE”
OBAMA/BIDEN @ WE THE PEOPLE”
Stevens Convicted On All Counts
Commented Oct 27, 2008 at 17:29:20 in Politics
“There was a report that it was the contractors of Wasilla's International Hall o' Hockey according to Todd, they were the "friends" who helped him build the house. The architect of the Hockey place was a no bid m=winne and son of the local GOP boss. Not very Mav'ricky. [wink!]”
Stevens Convicted On All Counts
Commented Oct 27, 2008 at 17:12:14 in Politics
“Last week, maverick Gov. Sarah Palin (R-You Betcha) won a $150,000 wardrobe, house renovations, & free plane rides for the kids!!!
This week, Senator Ted Stevens (R-Bridge to Nowhere), a man of conviction, for lying about taking $250,000 worth of home revovationssize, massage chair, and VIKING GAS GRILLE from
THE ALASKA EDITION OF --- THE PRICE IS RIGHT!
Parody of Our House,
"TED'S HOUSE,
IS A VERY VERY VERY FINE HOUSE,
WITH A GAS GRILLE IN THE YARD
LIFE USED TO BE SO HARD
NOW EV'RYTHING IS EASY CAUSE OF YOU...
NEXT WEEK: LOCKDOWN
Parody of Jailhouse Rock
Goin' to a party in the DC jail,
Republicans are new and they began to wail.
Scooter Libby’s leakin' and began to sing
You should've heard them jump-suit preppies sing.
Let's rock! Everybody, let's rock!
Everybody in the W block
Dancin' to the jailhouse rock.
Duke Cunningham is sittin' on a block of stone;
The Duke has fallen far from his golden throne
Come on without Delay, Duke, take off a load.
If you can’t find a partner, grab your antique commode.
Let's rock! Everybody, let's rock! Everybody in the W block
Was dancin' to the jailhouse rock.
Ted Stevens just arrived no worse for wear
He is dreamin bout a bridge to go nowhere
Cheney turned to Rove and he sneared “O rats”
This whole place is full of Democrats!
Let's rock! Everybody, let's rock!
Everybody in the W block
Dancin' to the jailhouse rock.”
This week, Senator Ted Stevens (R-Bridge to Nowhere), a man of conviction, for lying about taking $250,000 worth of home revovationssize, massage chair, and VIKING GAS GRILLE from
THE ALASKA EDITION OF --- THE PRICE IS RIGHT!
Parody of Our House,
"TED'S HOUSE,
IS A VERY VERY VERY FINE HOUSE,
WITH A GAS GRILLE IN THE YARD
LIFE USED TO BE SO HARD
NOW EV'RYTHING IS EASY CAUSE OF YOU...
NEXT WEEK: LOCKDOWN
Parody of Jailhouse Rock
Goin' to a party in the DC jail,
Republicans are new and they began to wail.
Scooter Libby’s leakin' and began to sing
You should've heard them jump-suit preppies sing.
Let's rock! Everybody, let's rock!
Everybody in the W block
Dancin' to the jailhouse rock.
Duke Cunningham is sittin' on a block of stone;
The Duke has fallen far from his golden throne
Come on without Delay, Duke, take off a load.
If you can’t find a partner, grab your antique commode.
Let's rock! Everybody, let's rock! Everybody in the W block
Was dancin' to the jailhouse rock.
Ted Stevens just arrived no worse for wear
He is dreamin bout a bridge to go nowhere
Cheney turned to Rove and he sneared “O rats”
This whole place is full of Democrats!
Let's rock! Everybody, let's rock!
Everybody in the W block
Dancin' to the jailhouse rock.”
1 - 25 of 66
