“disclaimer: i don't think there is anything inherently wrong with sex in ads. that said, the defense of "it's part of the culture" is the whole problem, with everything from sexism to racism to bullying. just because historically something was "part of the culture" doesn't mean it's good. slavery was "part of our culture" too. it's a lazy and impotent defense, and leads to the perpetuation of many problematic trends. and objectification (which is different from sexualization) of both women and men is a problematic trend. argue instead which of the two this ad is.”
gotmine9 on Jul 11, 2013 at 18:00:42
“I agree, at least challenge your own thinking... you might find that you were correct all along. But, if you challenge your own positions, you might find that you are hurting someone. You might be an amazing human being who is accidentally approving and participating in a culture where you are harming someone.”
“I would argue that people do not have the right to vote on restricting other people's rights. If a gay person gets married, it affects absolutely no one else. It isn't theft, or assault. As such, no one has the right to simply decide that it can't happen. And the purpose of the courts is to prevent or correct illegal actions, and decide what actions, such as this vote, might be illegal.”
“At what point did he say he was forcing his child into any box, let alone forcing him to do "girly" things?
" All that matters is the fact that I love my son and as his father, it is my job to ensure he is raised in an environment where he feels safe to express himself. And that includes him deciding to like pink, purple, blue or any other color he so wishes."
Sounds pretty much like the opposite.”
CrayolaKidd on Mar 22, 2013 at 06:28:33
“At what point did I accuse the author of forcing his child into a box? If you would take another look at my comment, the only time I referred to what was in the article was in my first paragraph. The second paragraph was directed towards another comment made earlier, the third was giving an example, and the last was to a separate comment.
Overall, my entire comment was based on the topic of gender roles, since I agree that there's nothing wrong with boys liking pink, yada, yada, yada. The key idea being that the child chooses these things. Some will take this authors discovery to new and horrible levels.
There's no rule book or instruction manual, we just do the best we can. As I replied to Fran Jaime, I get disgusted when I see parents encouraging their sons to do/wear/play with things they normally wouldn't. An eight year old boy wouldn't be wearing frilly dresses to school. That's not normal. However, if his parents have been putting him in dresses since he was a baby, he might not find it odd at all. I know a couple who has done this with their toddler. They, more so the wife, used the excuse of not letting what everyone else thinks hamper what they feel is best for their children. My comment is for people like them.”
“If I have to give you examples you clearly have your head in
the sand, but I will humor you… The most
recent example would be at CPAC, Dr. Ben Carson (a Black Neurosurgeon)
mentioned the “nastygrams” he received after he spoke at the National Prayer
Breakfast. He said some of his
oh-so-tolerant admirers lobbed the N-word at him…”
“what implied making a mess for mom to clean? it seems to me that You read gender stereotypes into this, not the other way around. literally not one single thing outside of the farting joke or the reference to baseball was traditionally male oriented. everything seemed pretty much geared toward teaching your kid to be well-rounded and intelligent, and especially happy.
I would be very interested to hear which points you thought were bad.”
goonio on Feb 23, 2013 at 15:21:45
“There seems to be a leaning toward teaching the child to "lie" or be less honest (to spare feelings to get the job)-- to "fake it" because that's what adults do...but don't point that out. Don't complain or move around too much when in a seat for a couple of hours-- then you'll prove you're a big boy.
Mustard invented by the universe?
Most likely it was first used by the Romans (using grape juice and mustard seeds)
This I found by taking 5 seconds to look it up, and I look things up often with my son to give him the most accurate information, if I don't know it.
Science is awesome because it answers questions-- but it's also interesting to accept the "fact" that there may be a Santa, Vampires, and monsters at the end of the book (or in your closet...but that's when all the best stuff happens, so have fun with that)
A college education is useless if you don't firmly grasp this tiny grammatical concept that he randomly deems the pinnacle of higher learning?
"What a disappointment, Dr. Son... you still make that mistake with the apostrophe...you're education is a sham!"
I know... I'm nitpicking. But the list is trite, and should be titles 5 things that may make some people chuckle, not 25 That Every Dad Should Teach His Son.”
goonio on Feb 23, 2013 at 15:19:15
“The title:25 Things that I Think Every Dad Should Teach His Kids, frames the article in terms of gender. In regards to moms (and teachers) cleaning up messes, since I believe that some of these "teachings" are flawed then I believe that correcting these teachings (or more serious life lessons) would be left to the "serious" parent (the way that the article is framed, the other parent would be the mom).If this was an article from a mom's perspective, then I would consider the thoughtful, serious life issues would fall on the father (if this was what the mother brought to the table) and/or teachers.
I don't think a lot of mothers would "get away" and certainly not celebrated on a parent blog for coming up with these 25 things that they think every mother should teach their children, without being thought to take their role as mother/educator seriously by the parenting community at large. But men know farting and video games and baseball... so that's what they have to offer as life lessons that need to be handed down.”
“games are no worse than tv or books. it's all about which ones and how much.
I make games for a living. my kids aren't going to play grand theft auto or call of duty, but if they want to play mario or journey, i will encourage the hell out of that. same with harry potter or dr. suess or Vonnegut. culture is good.”
“The "traditional childhood" is a myth, and there is literally zero evidence that preschool is anything other than a fantastic investment. It doesn't mean no free time or playing or whatever, in fact it means Better play and free time, with much-needed socialization. the younger you start learning (meaning constructive play and play-based learning, not sitting and being taught) makes learning later in life much much easier, leading to better grades, better higher education, and eventually better jobs (and more productive workers).”
“I don't know where you live, but I have never once seen a "10,000 a month camp". It is most definitely not just the rich or affluent that send their children to summer camp. Sure, lots of people still can't afford camp, but that doesn't mean the parents that can (or that scrimp and save and go without in order to be able to) aren't allowed to miss their kids. To say otherwise, or to assume that the reason they send them is to get rid of them for some time, is just awful, not to mention arrogant. You are not better than anyone else just because you don't send Yours.”
WilliamL on Aug 7, 2013 at 05:16:11
“I meant to say for the summer and yes there are camps that expensive.
As far as parents who send there kids off to get rid of them, yeah, those parents do exist. They send their kids to Maine and they go to Vail or Taos. These parents exists. They do.
I am all for taking my children camping and so forth. As far as being better, of course not, just different that those parents who ship their children to camp at age 9 and then write about it.
It is common practice in certain communities and areas to ship their children off for a good portion of the summer, this is common in more affluent neighborhoods.
As far as shipping a 9 year old off ? I find it to be questionable at best and do not see it necessary at that age.
Anything else ?”
“for the love of god, the point was NO ONE IS SAYING THEY ARE. the author was saying that people with dogs but no kids sometimes use them as a point of reference for sympathizing. because believe it or not, people can love them too, and they also create poop that needs dealing with. which is enough of a similarity to warrant commiseration.
and for the record, scientifically speaking, the bond between a dog and a human operates in the exact same way as between a parent and young child. biggest difference is that humans grow up and learn to talk.”
“but obesity, like any other disease is no one's business but the people who have it. unlike many other diseases, it tends to Be called out by other people, leading to body image problems that exacerbate the problem in exactly the ways you mentioned.”
Andrea in the City on Jul 12, 2013 at 12:16:33
“I agree with you. thats what I was saying. no one should be ridiculed. i was merely pointing out the obesity is a disease, many times a symptom of other issues, and a cause of other health issues”
“i don't see how that's all over the road. seems like a pretty consistent series of descriptions. they're all different, but if they were identical it would be redundant. she's giving examples of things that employees might do that are different depending on the manager's gender.”
“She wasn't talking about people questioning, she was talking about people being outright rude and even defiant. you can disagree with your boss, you can't stop speaking to her. you can't make rude comments about her outfits or callers. you have to be an adult.”
rims11 on Mar 25, 2013 at 21:38:56
“She is all over the road actually: "female subordinates are often less respectful of and deferential to their female bosses than they are to their male bosses. They question more, push back, and expect a certain level of familiarity or camaraderie that they don't expect from the men"”
“people like you give atheism and agnosticism an awful name. The person you are replying to made one innocuous statement that she thought might bring a little bit of comfort, like it did for her. she did not try to force her god down your or the OP's throat. you on the other hand attacked her and tried to force your beliefs down hers, with absolutely zero provocation. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs.”
“seriously, you are the reason there is so much hatred for atheism and agnosticism. the woman you replied to did not try to force her god on you or the OP, she made one innocuous statement that gave her comfort and thought was worth sharing. you, on the other hand, attacked her and her beliefs with absolutely no provocation.
if you are allowed to not believe in god, she is allowed the opposite. respect that.”
Mak1921 on Mar 19, 2013 at 07:54:50
“Interesting observation. The fact is that "god bless you" isn't as innocuous as you might think. If Ms. Orr (the writer of the piece) doesn't believe in god, then throwing out a "god bless you" could be construed as an insult, as if the default understanding of the universe is that a god exists. As an atheist, I find it so. It's entirely possible that others find it to be so as well.”
“and then voted to eliminate the lord's prayer from public schools. and then the courts decided that recitation of the "under god" in the pledge of allegiance was not mandatory.
You may believe absolutely anything you want -- I'm no screaming, anti-religion fanatic, i think that that's just as awful and dogmatic -- but you may not push your religion or your beliefs, on any topic, onto anyone else. not in this country.”
JoePhillie on Mar 18, 2013 at 16:22:41
“Doesn't really matter....You see, the same God which created the world and hung it on nothing is going to judge this nation. You can't stop him from doing that.”