One very common mistake you can make is to fall in love with a person's potential, rather than who he is right now. Remember, there are no guarantees that another person is going to want to change in the way that you envision for him. You might think that he would be better off if he changed, but he may not agree. So if you like someone, like him for who he is now, rather than who you think he could possibly be at his best.
For instance, I think my husband has the body structure to be really toned and athletic-looking, and I think it would be lovely for me to feel a six-pack stomach every day! But at the moment he doesn't have the desire to do what it takes to have one. And knowing him, he probably thinks I have the potential to be a really good cook if I put my mind to it. But the truth is I just have no interest. Not right now, anyway! And we accept each other for who we are right now.
Years ago one of my boyfriends asked me to marry him, but I felt that he was not as sexual as I was and it would be hard for us to spend the rest of our lives together and for me to feel unfulfilled in that way. I thought, If only ... I could make this relationship more passionate, it would be perfect. We both tried everything to make it work -- sexy underwear, vitamins, tantric workshops. You name it, we tried it. I was so convinced that passion was the only element that was missing in an otherwise great relationship (which, by the way, is rarely the case, as your sexuality is an expression of your mental and emotional connection). In many ways I was like Cinderella's sister trying to make the shoe fit.
Now I see how futile those attempts were. It took me three frustrating years to figure it out! So my advice is to love your boyfriend or girlfriend for who he or she is now, and if you are incompatible in a way that is a deal breaker for you, then don't think that he or she can change -- what you see tends to be what you get!
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Years ago, I was notorious for overlooking things in relationships because I always thought: Sure, he's XYZ, but not with me.
Well, at 39 I have learned a valuable lesson: People tend to be exactly who they are when they think they can get away with their worst. So, I now pay attention to lots of things I used to let slide, including things like: How do they treat wait staff. Man, the years of therapy that little bit of attention focusing might have saved me. Kidding. But only a little.
The very things you find "cute" in him when you are dating,
are going to be the things that irritate you the most after you're married.
You can argue the point, but you have to wait and find out first.....lol :o)
1. What ever you did to win his/hers heart. You MUST keep doing that. Honor God.
2. Keep God in your relationship and don't be limit Him and be ashamed of Him being that third cord of that makes the rope. Honor God,
3. Don't humiliate your spouse with weird sexual desires/fantasies or financial pipe dreams. Honor God.
4. Avoid negative people, place and things. Keep people out of your house and relationship. Honor God.
5. Validate the male, love the female and save money. Honor God.
These are basic things for love and marriage. Did I forget something? Oh, yes...Honor God.