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Do You Trust Yourself?

Posted: 08/20/2012 11:46 am

You may recall from our "Do you suffer from worth decay?" post we asked you to ponder just how your sense of personal worth is tied to numbers. True, numbers are concrete. Numbers make the untangle (a feeling like trust) tangible. Decision makers who daily affect the quality of our lives use numbers to make decisions. (For example, do gas prices affect your life right now? They do if you purchase anything -- anywhere. What you purchased had to be delivered to the store you visited!) Professional statisticians, pollsters and fundraisers earn a tangible living turning intangible feelings (qualitative data) into tangible results (reports, trends, votes, donations, etc.). Anyone who seriously plays the stock market combines a mixture of numbers with intuition (gut wisdom). Right?

Thus, one cornerstone to prevent worth decay is, you guessed it, trust! Based on 30 years of supporting people on their journey to gain and maintain a solid sense of trust, hands down their sense of trust in themselves provides a powerful vaccine against worth decay.

Yet, how fickle is trust!

History books (let alone our courts) document all too well how worlds change when trust is earned or shattered. Currently, those running for office in the United States seem to bank on first shattering then gaining your trust. Does this style of campaigning help or hurt your ability to vote wisely?

It all starts out with a key question: "Do you trust yourself?"

Second key question: "Do you trust others?"

Third key question: "Do you trust the fact you're absolutely worth what it takes to enjoy life in ways you'll thrive and evolve (vs. survive and revolve)?"

Now, let's get to work!

What inspires trust for you? What time span or set of events need to happen before you trust yourself let alone someone or something else? Are you one of those rare early adopters who dives right in the moment something new comes along (trusting you'll enjoy being "one of the first")? Or, are you one part of the large "wait n' see" family?

What shatters trust for you? Do you tend to do your best to explore as many sides of a story (to learn as much as you can) about someone or something before a tear in trust happens? Or is trust shattered easily when you experience learning tools such as betrayal, jealousy or similar unwelcome human traits?

Establishing a sound sense of trust in yourself creates a solid foundation for awakening a robust sense of worth -- on all levels. How does this author make this claim? In 2006 I published Pay Me What I'm Worth. Since that time, I watch people's lives turn on a dime when they finally KNOW themselves well enough to establish an unshakable sense of trust (or it's cousin, confidence) in who they are and what they're here to do. (This turn happens step by step with each completed exercise in my coaching and workbook.)

Let's find out how much you trust yourself, right now!

On a scale of 1-10, what's your answer to this question:

"All things considered, I trust myself."

1 = absolutely NOT, no way, haven't a clue what that would be like.

5 = about half the time, all depends on my health, energy, etc.

10 = absolutely YES! I feel confident in trusting myself -- always.

I hope your answer is at least seven or above! Less than seven means a lack of trust constantly undermines your sense of worth. Each time trust tumbles into mistrust, like animals who sense (smell) fear, your lack of trust invites (attracts) experiences to support continued trust earthquakes. Your worth decays each time trust takes a fall.

Try this exercise to gain some solid data on your sense of trust.

Pick a period of time that's at least a weekend. A week is good. If you dare, a month is even better! Next, we'll keep track of a powerful trust traction tool: your intuition.

Do you trust your intuition or not?

For each day, start a new Post-it, index card or similar small piece of paper that you'll carry with you. Each time you tap into your intuition, track if you

  1. go with your intuition (trust your gut)
  2. vetoed your intuition and trusted your head (your mind)

So on your piece of paper, place a tick mark under:

"Gut"

"Head"

At the end of each day, ponder your results. At the end of the week, ponder your results. What do you find? Do you consistently trust your gut yet override this trust and go with your mind? How's that working for you?

Once you have some tangible data (from this, or a similar exercise you create), you're well on your way to leveraging an intangible, yet powerful psychological tool, trust!

Care to reveal the results of this exercise by posting a comment with your results later on? (Bookmark or favorite this post to find it easily later on.) For every brave soul who posts their results, contact me, and I'll send you a lovely e-gift!

What do you do to build a more robust sense of trust in yourself! Share your wisdom in the comment section below. I'm also here to help. To tap into my support (to upgrade your sense of trust) drop a note.

-- Click to download some FREE resources.

-- Click for class details.

 
 
 

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12:51 PM on 08/31/2012
Parents are such important people! I have heard that our basic attitudes (respect for self and others) are formed very early on...perhaps as early as 2 years of age. May we all model respect for one another, especially the little ones.
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Jenell Scherbel
Communication matters
04:04 PM on 08/27/2012
I trusted myself to make my way over here from the politicking side of HuffPost. ; ) Nice to meet you!

I'm 69. I've dived in, been exhilarated, almost died, and lived, twice. I went to China in a leap from my continent and later, Bulgaria, though far from rich. I write poetry from inspiration. Inspire means--to breathe in life! I'm of two related minds--a left-brain, contemplative side and a "musical" side that studies, reads and writes poetry, draws, and wants to live a fully-committed creative life. I have a personal "message rock" that says, "Create."

Poetry and living in China came from a simple exercise learned in my 20s:

Think of six things you want to do before you die. Not what you've been told you should accomplish or what anyone else wants you to do. Let this be what you yourself desire to do, be, feel, think, learn, become. It can be anything, just what you genuinely desire without the prompting or advice of others. Don't think of obstacles that might be "in the way." After you have your list of six things, narrow it to three. Then, narrow the list to the two most important aims for you. Pick one and do it! The obstacles will be be taken care of as your proceed.

I appreciate fallow periods and, at 69, I appreciate rest. Whenever I've done the exercise "for real," it changes my life and I never regret it.
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Soul Dancer
HP blog http://huffingtonpost.com/soul-dancer
12:53 PM on 10/09/2012
Mahalo Jenell! Thank you for posting this! You're spot on! Focus. Persistence. Repeat! Outstanding exercise! Thank you!
01:46 PM on 08/20/2012
Souldancer - your post evokes Erik Erikson and the essential stages of human development in the social environment, with Trust being the essential building block. All of us revisit and rework trust/confidence throughout our lives. In my opinion, as adults we must trust ourselves before we can can develop"a sense of trust" in others. Thank you for the excellent post.
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Soul Dancer
HP blog http://huffingtonpost.com/soul-dancer
06:31 PM on 08/20/2012
Mahalo Syd! Right on. Trust is such a powerful trait. Now more than ever before, we need to trust in ourselves. Thanks again for your insightful post!
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Jenell Scherbel
Communication matters
04:06 PM on 08/27/2012
I agree. We say we want people to "earn our trust." But, first we have to give it.