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Makers of Cute Cat Videos Form Independent Political Party

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In a major challenge to Republicans and Democrats, a new political party has been established by United States citizens who routinely film delightful videos of their cats and post them online. "The two-party system has repeatedly ignored our needs," said Hubert Sneffren, Chairman of The Coalition for Adorable Tailed Videos Independent Party (CATVIP), and its Vice-Chairman Admiral Piddles McMeowster, a Scottish Fold famed for the viral video "Cat Scared by Omelette" (17 million views). Sneffren insists, "It is time for a viable third party choice in this country. Isn't that right, Admiral Piddles? Isn't it time? Yes, it is! Oh, yesss, it is!"

Unlike the group Americans Elect, CATVIP has already been placed on the ballots of all 50 states and represents an estimated 115 million Americans. CATVIP's official platform is mainly concerned with diverting federal funds from military expenditures to 1) encourage cats to drink out of faucets, run on treadmills, fall asleep on blankets, and stare at themselves in mirrors 2) provide video cameras to capture said activities 3) increase spending on museums that feature the works of B. Kliban and Margaret Keane. "We don't care about debt ceilings or foreign policy," said CATVIP Secretary-General Nancy Cremloop Cheever while filming Cat Scratch Cheever, her Cornish Rex, attack a watermelon. "If everyone just continuously filmed and watched videos of kitties hiding in shoes or playing with rolls of toilet paper, the world would be a much better place."

CATVIP's threat to the dominant political parties has inspired the formation of other third party organizations, including MOCBV (Makers of Cute Baby Videos), RBP (Rebecca Black Parodists), and NSOHDM (The National Society of Hitler Downfall Memes). "The more the merrier," commented Sneffren, as he dangled a piece of string in front of Admiral McMeowster and asked, "Who's gonna steal the 2012 election? You are! Yes, you are! Aren't you? Aren't you?!"

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