Democratic leaders have hired famed Inception director Christopher Nolan to change the political narrative going into November's mid-term elections and, in the words of strategist Ernest Blomford, "Substantially alter the perceptions of American voters while there is still time."
The change of political narrative officially began at a press conference this morning, where Nolan revealed that the British Petroleum oil spill, Arizona's immigration law SB 1070, unemployment figures, and Michelle Obama's trip to Spain were all concocted by Tea Party members jealous of President Obama's current 98 percent approval rating. As reporters tried to absorb this information, White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs appeared, warning everyone that Nolan's announcement was just a ploy created by angry, drug-addled liberal Democrats and left-wing critics in order to attack the administration. "You can't believe a word of what Nolan says. You can't believe what anybody says, except me."
Suddenly, a second and disoriented Christopher Nolan appeared, claiming to be from the future and sent back in time to warn past (i.e., present) citizens of the United States. Looking at a tattoo on his chest for reference, Nolan Two said, "None of this is happening. It's just taking your attention away from the real problems facing the country in the past (i.e., present)." This was followed by the appearance of a second Robert Gibbs, laughing hysterically and claiming he had reversed time to just before the start of the press conference, thus nullifying anything the original Robert Gibbs or Christopher Nolan One and Two had said or done. "You and I are destined to do this forever," Gibbs Two said to Gibbs One, Nolan One, and Nolan Two. "You complete me."
While the two Gibbs and two Nolans attacked each other in zero gravity, former President James Monroe entered, claiming the previous 194 years of American history were simply part of a bad dream he was having and that we were actually in the middle of America's bountiful "Era of Good Feelings." Confused reporters saluted and applauded Monroe as the White House press room crumbled, revealing a post-apocalyptic world where Charlton Heston gazed angrily at the destroyed Statue of Liberty, yelling, "Damn you! God damn you all to hell!"
So far, Democrats have been pleased with Nolan's narrative work although Blomford noted, "Interfering with the timeline of historic and future events may have serious spatial and quantum repercussions and, if you are reading this on The Huffington Post, the elections have already taken place and you are probably dead."