04/23/2013 05:27 pm ET | Updated Jun 23, 2013

Fiction Gives Up, Admits Truth Is Stranger

In a surprising announcement this morning, Fiction has admitted that Truth is much stranger than it can ever hope to be. "Fiction has put up a valiant struggle over the years to be stranger than actual current events," said Fiction spokesperson Mickey Solls. "But frankly, it's decided that the time is right to throw in the towel. Congratulations, Truth -- you win."

Events from the past week were apparently the final straws that forced Fiction to reassess its cultural worth. Solls commented: "Russian brothers from Chechnya blowing up the Boston Marathon? One of them went to the same school as Ben Affleck and Matt Damon? Fertilizer plants exploding? The Senate rejecting background checks? Justin Bieber hoping Anne Frank was a Belieber? No satire or magical realism in the world can even come close to keeping up with this shit."

Fiction has no plans for the immediate future and mentioned only the desire to catch up on episodes of Amish Mafia. Truth, currently on vacation in the Caribbean with Life and Art, could not be reached for comment.