Huffpost Comedy
The Blog

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors

Spencer Green Headshot

Last Person to Pay Attention to Donald Trump Dies Peacefully at Home

Posted: Updated:

Gordon Mellifleck, the last known person to have paid attention to anything Donald Trump had to say, died peacefully at his home in Scottsbluff, Nebraska at the age of 82. "My father was surrounded by family and loved ones," said Mellifleck's son Roger, in a statement issued earlier this morning. "If he had lived to see Trump drop out of the Newsmax debate, I'm sure it would have killed him."

Mellifleck was a solitary fan of Mr. Trump's for many years and reportedly found everything the business magnate said and did to be of great interest, from his involvement with World Wrestling Entertainment to his feud with Rosie O'Donnell to his questioning of President Obama's birth status. "He saw it as a great responsibility," said Mellifleck's granddaughter Alice. "We took him to several therapists but nothing they did or prescribed could change Grandpa's mind about Trump. Sometimes we would pretend not to know him and Grandpa would just start yelling, 'If only Donald Trump was here! He'd tell us what to do!' to random strangers."

For the moment, no one in the Mellifleck family appears ready to take up the mantle of Trump devotion that had fallen squarely on Gordon's shoulders. Said Roger Mellifleck, "I can live with that."

  Obama Romney
Obama Romney
332 206
Obama leading
Obama won
Romney leading
Romney won
Popular Vote
33 out of 100 seats are up for election. 51 are needed for a majority.
Democrat leading
Democrat won
Holdover
Republican leading
Republican won
Democrats* Republicans
Current Senate 53 47
Seats gained or lost +2 -2
New Total 55 45
* Includes two independent senators expected to caucus with the Democrats: Angus King (Maine) and Sen. Bernie Sanders (Vt.).
All 435 seats are up for election. 218 are needed for a majority.
Democrat leading
Democrat won
Republican leading
Republican won
Democrats Republicans
Seats won 201 234
Click for Full Results