Movies That Will Definitely Get Oscar Nominations
The Academy Award nominations for 2008 films will be announced on Thursday; the following are the most likely contenders. Good luck to them all:
Grandpa Racist T. Crotchetypants and His Magical Redemption Gun
Three Hours of "Gump"-Taste-Tested Syrup From Dead Author Who Did It Better in 20 Pages
The Cutest Eco-Friendly Robot Lecture Ever Ever Ever!
1950s Suburban Drones Courtesy of Genius Filmmakers Who Have Not Lost Their Souls Unlike All of You
Superhero Adaptation #624, In Case Fanboys Didn't Whack Off to the Previous 623
Superhero Adaptation #758, With Extra Brooding
Rehab Bitch Crashes the Multicultural Wedding of Masturbatory Wonderfulness
Feel-Great Mumbai Poverty Panorama in a Variety of Swirling Colors
Forgotten Actor's Comeback in Role of His Screwed-Up Lifetime
Holocaust Memories + Kate Winslet's Ass = Artistic Boner
Angelina Jolie Suffers Mightily While Her Lips Remain Shiny and Succulent Through the Entire Great Depression
Bond. James Zzzz...
Gays in Office? Next They'll Want Marital Rights
Tricky Dick's Syndicated Penance, With Limited Politically Resonant Commercial Interruptions
Lonely Professor Bongo Learns to Live
Woody Allen's Latest Ode to Hot Women He Can't Fuck
Pulitzer Play-Turned-Movie Acting Clinic, With No Actual Actors From the Original Play Because That Would Be Ridiculous
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I agree with you. None of the movies out there have been very impressive to me. I saw Benjamin Button, and I was not impressed. Brad Pitt does not deserve best actor. But since all the movies out there were not very great. He might just have a chance. Heaven forbid they nominate "Che" which I thought was brilliant. It's probably too controversial. They'll stick to the "Nazi" movies. That's always the most controversial subject. Who cares that it happened over 50 years ago. I guess no one in Hollywood cares about what's going on today. Like Iraq.
Bravo.
This was hysterical!!!!!! Thanks for posting.
P.S. James Bond film is "Quantum of Solace".
Cheat sheet, in order (with my very own likely mis-spellings and mis-namings):
Grand Torino
Benjamin Button
Wall-y
Revolutionary Road
The Dark Knight
Ironman (me those two are reversed)
Rachel Getting Married
Slumdog Millionaire
The Wrestler
The Reader
Changeling
The James Bod Movie (OK, cheating...forget the name of it)
Milk
Frost/Nixon
Last Chance Harvey (?)
Vikki Barcelona
Doubt
(corrections welcome)
"Lonely Professor Bongo" is "The Visitor".
Where's the cheat sheet?
I don't know which movies he's referring to, in most of them.
Beeeeee-rilliant!! You hit the nail right on the head.
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