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Mubarak to Resign When Spider-Man Musical Officially Premieres

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MUBARAK

After weeks of discussion, embattled Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak has agreed to step down from power when the musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark officially opens on Broadway. "This has been very difficult, but I must do what is best for the future of Egypt," Mubarak said in an interview with Playbill earlier today. "And I am comfortable with my decision. Very, very comfortable."

Mubarak's announcement only adds more pressure to the opening night of Spider-Man, which was just postponed for the forty-fifth time, following technical problems that caused some of the actors' heads to accidentally explode onto the preview audience.

"These kinds of things happen all the time in the theatre," said the show's director, Julie Taymor. "The underwater version of Inherit the Wind made this all seem very tame by comparison."

President Obama and U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton have reportedly called the show's producers to see if any numbers can be cut, while Egyptian opposition leader Mohamed ElBaradei dismissed the talks, noting, "Guys and Dolls -- now that was a musical."