Studio Notes on the Declaration of Independence

- focus groups show that only 66 percent of citizens hold these truths to be self-evident; 22 percent hold them to be rather ambiguous; 12 percent are undecided

- opening paragraph should be funnier, add Rutledge's "Continental Whoop-Ass" line

- we still don't get "right of the people"

- legal requires that you do not specifically mention King of Great Britain, British Crown, British brethren, English laws, absolute Tyranny, Separation, Government, Legislature, United States of America, General Congress, Creator, Free and Independent States, or Protection of Divine Providence

- add more references to Extreme Colonial Wrestling

- Button Gwinnett--seriously, is that even a real name?; please change

- tone down general anti-Parliamentary supremacy rhetoric

- replace "unalienable" and "consanguinity" with "Target" logo

- Wrinkles, the Magic Flying America Horse from previous draft was more effective in explaining pitfalls of domestic insurrections and foreign mercenaries

- we agreed to find a more kid-friendly name (ex. Yo, Declaration!)

- replace "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" with "to be determined"

- lose at least half of the King's "repeated injuries and usurpations" (we can add them as bonus material in any future Declaration of Independence Director's Cuts)

- get to "merciless Indian Savages" much sooner

- final paragraph--to discuss; what do we learn?