Saturday April 25th will mark the annual White House Correspondents' Dinner, a celebration of Washington journalists acting like celebrity-obsessed pre-teenagers and happily taking their marching orders from the government. "I can't wait," said White House Correspondents' Association automaton Sanford Glickpull. "Because there's nothing America wants to see more than its press members gathering in a room with overpaid TV and movie stars and sucking off the elected officials they so miserably fail to investigate the rest of the year."
WHCA drone Tanya Birdbrea explains, "It's a time when we as journalists put aside the hard work of angling for jobs in the current or future administration and laugh at inside jokes that we will spend the next two weeks covering over and over again."
When asked how journalists can eagerly and voluntarily attend an event with an administration that is notorious for withholding information from the press and the public, Birdbrea pulled out a selfie stick and yelled, "Outta my way! It's Daryl from The Walking Dead! Daryl! Over here! I love you!"