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Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

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How Anger Hurts You

Posted: 11/13/11 11:10 AM ET

You may remind yourself a hundred times that you shouldn't get angry, but when the emotion comes, you are unable to control it. It comes like a thunderstorm. Emotions are much more powerful than your thoughts. What can you do when anger rises in you?

Anger is a distortion of your true nature and it doesn't allow the self to shine forth fully. The structure of human consciousness or the mind is very similar to that of an atom. The positively charged protons and neutrons are in the center of the atom while the negatively charged particles are only on the circumference. Similarly, even in human consciousness, mind and life, all the negativities and vices are only in the periphery. Your true nature is peace and love.

Showing anger itself is not wrong, but being unaware of your anger only hurts you. Sometimes you can show anger purposefully. For example, a mother gets angry at her children and can act tough or shout at them if they put themselves in danger. There are situations that warrant showing anger, but when you get angry, have you observed what happens to you? You are shaken completely. Look at the consequences of getting angry. Are you happy with the decisions you have made or the words you have spoken in a state of anger? No, because you lose your total awareness. But if you are completely aware and are acting angry, that is fine.

Being in the Present Moment

All anger is about something which has already happened. Is it of any use getting angry about something which you cannot alter? The mind always vacillates between the past and the future. When the mind is in the past, it's angry about something that has already happened; but anger is meaningless as we can't alter the past. And when the mind is in the future, it's anxious about something that may or may not happen. When the mind is in the present moment, anxiousness and anger appear so meaningless.

Spiritual practices help you maintain your centeredness and not be shaken by small events. This is where a little knowledge about yourself, your mind, your consciousness and the root of distortion in our nature helps. It is when you are exhausted and stressed that you lose your nature and get angry. Every individual is bestowed with all the virtues in the world. They simply get covered-up by lack of understanding and stress. What is needed is just to uncover the virtues that are already there.

The Secret of the Breath

Breathing techniques and meditation are very effective in calming the mind. Learning something about our breath is very important. Our breath has a great lesson to teach us, which we have forgotten. For every rhythm in the mind, there is a corresponding rhythm in the breath and for every rhythm in the breath there is a corresponding emotion. So, when you cannot handle your mind directly, you can handle it through breath. Meditation is letting go of anger from the past and the events of the past. Meditation is accepting this moment and living every moment totally with depth. Often anger comes because you do not accept the present moment. Anger comes when one seeks too much of perfection. When you are joyful, you don't look for perfection. If you are always looking for perfection then you are not at the source of joy.

The world appears imperfect on the surface but, underneath, all is perfect. Perfection hides; imperfection shows off. The wise will not remain merely on the surface but will probe into the depth. Things are not blurred; your vision is blurred. Infinite actions prevail in the wholeness of consciousness, and yet the consciousness remains perfect, untouched. Realise this now and be natural.

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
soma77
Author, Speaker, Retreat Facilitator
03:40 PM on 12/30/2011
“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”
Ralph Emerson

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
Buddha

http://thinkunity.com
08:51 AM on 12/12/2011
"Showing anger itself is not wrong, but being unaware of your anger only hurts you. Sometimes you can show anger purposefully...Meditation is letting go of anger from the past and the events of the past. Meditation is accepting this moment and living every moment totally with depth. Often anger comes because you do not accept the present moment. Anger comes when one seeks too much of perfection. When you are joyful, you don't look for perfection...Infinite actions prevail in the wholeness of consciousness, and yet the consciousness remains perfect, untouched. Realise this now and be natural."

Yes, we must recognize, ..there are many healthy ways to express anger: running, martial arts, screaming, hiking, painting, poetry, dynamic meditation, sauna, ect

avoid making other people the victim of your anger...

AND

Respect and honor that you have a right to be angry...

be Love

make Dharma

bink
06:12 PM on 11/29/2011
Nothing makes an angry jerk feel like a fool more than reacting to them with indifference or even kindness. I suppose that's not a very admirable goal for meditating but it can be a satisfying outcome. Why take in another person's negativity? Life's too short.

There is so much hidden away in the subconscious that dictates our reactions to the world. Meditation is the only tool I've found to change traits that I don't like about myself but it's a very slow process. It's not about denying or suppressing anger, it's about taking a moment out of the day to look at ourselves in an objective and non-judgmental way, to see cause and effect. It's actually about acknowledging anger, owning it.
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01:40 PM on 11/28/2011
I get Angry at Myself.
I am Anger Itself.
I am The One and Only Cause of Anger.
I am the One and Only Source of Anger.
I am any and every person who gets angry.
I am the person who feels that anger.
As I give and receive the anger, I close the circle.

Who could this I be to have such power to recognize the pain It afflicts on Itself?

God.

Peace on Earth,

Ik
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Endogenous Light Nexus
There actually is light within you
04:03 PM on 11/27/2011
Good article! Then I noticed that you have written some other good ones too and I have fanned you so I don't miss any more of them. Two questions:

1) what do your friends call you? Sri Sri? Ravi?

2) are you the same Ravi Shankar who worked with the Beatles and taught George Harrison to play the sitar? Just curious...
01:42 PM on 11/15/2011
I think, that keeping yourself away from toxic people is one thing that will help, and hey what is wrong with blowing off steam IF YOU ARE NOT HURTING ANYONE.. in some households, you seem to have to get loud to be heard. And in other situations, You want to impress a point that has been ignored over and over.. Why not feel free to vent? Its natural.. its just more social conditioning that its bad.. If you arent hitting anyone or breaking stuff up.. I think yelling helps relieve the tension and if your friends and relatives dont like it.. Maybe they can REASSESS how they speak to the angry person and STOP THEIR BEHAVIORS over and over that cause that level of frustration that you GET angry.. you cant change others.. only how you FEEL about what they do to you.. SO PEOPLE if you have an angry relative.. LOOK at yourself in the mirror and see WHY they get set off.. And YES I am blaming other people... to be clear.. TAKES TWO TO TANGLE
06:28 AM on 11/15/2011
Anger is a normal human emotion. Everyone experiences it. Failing to acknowledge it only causes more problems. A person can experience anger, acknowledge it, deal with it and move on. There is more harm in pretending that it doesn't exist or that it is an unworthy emotion.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
cambier lingua
08:41 AM on 11/16/2011
Anger can be a good thing. It helped me during a difficult divorce and kept me moving and in focus instead of wallowing. Decades later anger helped me with my grieving when my husband died of pancreatic cancer and his children fought me for the one tenth of his estate he left me (which they got when I die). By the way, they lost their six year legal battle with me.

Anger can also be a very bad emotion. This is especially true if it leads to selfish violence or destruction of others or other's property. I've learned one does NOT need to "get your anger out" as so many dumb shrinks say and is thought to be common knowledge.

It isn't easy to suppress anger but when you do, you often get a chance to rethink it and talk to others about it (to smart shrinks and family member who love you ) and usually, the anger ameliorates or softens all by itself.

One should get very angry about many things such as things that are unfair, unjust, or dangerous actions by others, or just plain stupid actions by some. Anger is what makes our laws. We don't like it when someone steals from us or kills our loved one, so we pass a law.

What you do about anger is what is important. Those with integrity and honor handle it differently than those who are selfish, self indulgent and out of control and like being out of control.
12:29 PM on 11/20/2011
This is a very well reasoned and thoughtful comment. Thanks for some "food for thought."
06:17 PM on 11/14/2011
Anger is often the result of attachment; holding on to the idea that things should be the way you want them to be, that things should happen the way you want them to happen. When they don't, you realize that you are not in control which causes frustration and fear, and anger arises. But if your spiritual practices allow you to touch the underlying truth described above, to see that underneath, all is perfect, that the world is perfect, just as it is... then you realize that it is silly to think that the world should conform to your ideals. You release your attachment, and the anger in your life is replaced by the most indescribable joy.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
GoogleAlphaPublishing
nothing, nobody, not a representative
07:43 AM on 11/14/2011
Whether or not all is perfect, anger is more a reaction than a response. Somehow that doesn't seem like an absolutely correct statement. I may achieve 100% peacefulness in a world that places no value on it. What will I have served?

I will do my best and also do my best to keep going. If I find those two aims are not reconciled, that's a reality.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Endogenous Light Nexus
There actually is light within you
03:57 PM on 11/27/2011
It's irrelevant what value the world places on your peacefulness, it's to benefit YOU.
researcher
researcher
02:42 AM on 11/14/2011
"The world appears imperfect on the surface but, underneath, all is perfect. Perfection hides; imperfection shows off. The wise will not remain merely on the surface but will probe into the depth. Things are not blurred; your vision is blurred. Infinite actions prevail in the wholeness of consciousness, and yet the consciousness remains perfect, untouched. Realise this now and be natural".

this is a nice finish, now from my point of view I would change the one sentence to read: infinite actions prevail in the wholeness of consciousness, and yet the "underlying awareness that most call spirit" remains perfect.

I view awareness as primary and consciousness meaning a flow of thoughts as secondary. consciousness is the expression of infinite awareness that is beyond time and space and form.

we dont evolve to greater and greater consciousness but to greater and greater awareness.

the greater our awareness the greater our love and compassion in our lives.

awareness can exist without consciousness but consciousness must have some level of awareness. the vitality that creates consciousness is infinite awareness. even that def is imperfect.
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Thisbeautifulplanet
omnia vincit amor
12:39 PM on 11/13/2011
I got anger out of my system when I found out that it would block the way to my heart. The angel inside me would knock at the door of my heart relentlessly but in vain before I did. In other words, I broke free.
12:33 PM on 11/13/2011
Anger seemed to me a phenomena like a storm, an uncontrollable impulse of energy that stems from a wave of emotion and rises up shaking every cell in the body and scattering itself in all directions. It really seemed a mystery because by the time you figure out how to deal with it, it is already come and hopefully gone! Never thought of the possibility that anger would simply not arise :) A definite new dimension of possibilities for unshakable peace!