When I discovered there was such a thing as co-ed naked yoga I instantly wrote a Facebook status update about it because how could you not? But then I realized a mere Facebook update was not sufficient to fully address this situation. I had more, much more, to say on this topic. Mostly, who the hell would do such a thing? And then: Who the hell does it and finds other people interested in doing it and not only interested but willing to pay to strip down in front of a room full of strangers before striking a pose? That's were I really run into trouble wrapping my head around this whole thing.
I could see some wacko wanting to do naked yoga. That's fine. Do your naked yoga in your bedroom alone with the shades drawn. No problems here. But don't take that out into the public for Pete's sake. Allow me just a little bit of brain space free from such thoughts. Is it not bad enough we have Miley Cyrus and the Kardashians to deal with? We don't need any more ridiculousness.
When I read the article about the Bold and Naked studio in New York City the other day, I also felt a strong need to go over the proponents' statements point by point and debunk them all. So here, now, are the participants' delusional statements followed by actual reality.
In the article one practitioner was quoted as saying,"When we're naked it's like we are all the same." In fact, the opposite is true. When you are in a co-ed naked class you can see exactly how you are not the same.
The article also stated that naked yoga is about "finding the strength to expose your vulnerability and connect to yourself and others on the deepest level." You know what? I'm good. I really don't want to connect with complete strangers on the deepest level. I think we should get to know each other a little first. Call me old fashioned, but I like to at least go on a date before I disrobe in front of someone.
I just don't know how you'd be able to take this class and look anyone in the eye afterward. Or, how you'd handle that gut-wrenching moment when you have to walk into a crowded room of people completely naked. I'm assuming they have locker rooms. Perhaps they just strip down right there in class, but that would be a little awkward, don't you think?
I wouldn't want to do naked yoga by myself let alone in a class and certainly not with members of the opposite sex. I don't even like being in fully clothed co-ed yoga classes. Yoga is a very personal and intimate practice especially if it requires partnering, and I don't like touching or grabbing strange men's (or women's) bodies. I actually quit one yoga class after a partnering exercise where I and the nice woman next to me had to spot each other. I stood behind her and held her waist as she did a hand stand and spread her legs into a V formation. If you've never done such a pose, let me explain something to you. This position means my face is at ass-level with her butt while she's upside down, balancing on her hands. It also means I am in very close proximity to her anus as I am gripping her torso. It was not only forced, extreme intimacy but also rather unpleasant. I felt violated.
Then it was my turn.
I did my pose thankful I had bathed that morning, left the class and never went back. So the idea of this co-ed naked yoga just boggles my mind. Especially when you think about how common downward dog is in yoga classes. How the hell are you possibly going to do a downward dog naked?
Think about it, people. This is what we are talking about here.
The thing is when I hear stuff like this it makes me question what kind of world I live in. It also makes me question if I really want to be a part of that world. Right now I'm leaning toward no. To each their own I say. I just don't want to know about it. If I know about it, I have to confront exactly how insane this place really is. And I don't want to do that. I want to think I live in a good world, a nice world, a world that makes sense. Instead, I have to come to terms with the fact that I live in a world with co-ed naked yoga.
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