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Stacey Honowitz Headshot

Sex Nation, All Aboard

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Alamy
Alamy

How many times in one day do I have to tell parents that I am not the "sex police" and they need to control their kids and their sexual appetites.

How many times in a day do I have to ask young girls what they were thinking when they entered a contest in school to see who could perform the most oral sex?

What will it take for educators and parents to realize that the "sex nation" is dominating our children's lives?

I am surrounded by it every single day in my job.

Magazine covers show models in their bras and underwear, recording artists wear next to nothing on stage, and television shows cannot get by without having a "sex scene" in their programming. Is there anyone out there that realizes what kind of influence this has on children? Young girls find themselves in constant competition with other girls to perform sexually. There doesn't seem to be a slew of role models out there trying to get a message across that it's okay not to be a slut, and engage in sexual antics. I hear it first hand. I asked a bunch of girls that were in my office the other day, "Why would you all get naked, and ask a man down the street to come and take pictures of you?" Their answer, "Well we want to get in a magazine," and it's easy if you send naked pictures. The stimuli is everywhere. For instance, the Kardashian sisters were launching their new jean collection. While I applaud them from stepping away from the standard size 2 sample size, was it necessary for them to have to model topless in the advertisement? Why, if they are trying to sell pants was it necessary to draw attention to their breasts?

This is how the sexual stimuli influences the life of a teenager. The idea that Madonna needs to flash herself while on stage, and so many others feel the need to parade around in a leotard for attention is just plain stupid. There are many girls that find themselves face to face with a sex crimes prosecutor who is questioning them about their sexual experiences. When I ask them if this was their first, you might think I have two heads. It was almost insulting that I thought they might be virgins before this experience. Sex crimes are on the rise. Day after day girls are sneaking out of the house to meet men that have chatted up on the Internet. They have no conception of the dangers that go along with this behavior and most importantly they have a laissez faire attitude toward what they have done. Quite frankly, they don't care at all as long as they fit into the "sexual nation" that has overtaken their schools.

Pregnancy, and sexually transmitted diseases are not even in the the mix. That is the furthest thing from their minds when they are just trying to keep up with what society has taught them. When they see reality shows, with kids stripping and having sex, and then making money from their hijinxs, it leads kids to believe that they too could have this life and be financially successful. It appears as though we have completely forgotten to educate our children because it just takes too much time and energy to fight something that has gripped our society. We are so cavalier when we hear of "wardrobe malfunctions, as it has become mainstream in the world of journalism and we have learned to accepted it.

How are kids influenced by this bombardment of sexual stimuli that surrounds them? Well, I can tell you that acting out what they hear and see has become commonplace. If you watch a video of a singer who is bumping and grinding while simulating sex, you would have to assume that your target audience is going to copy your moves. Case in point, when I had a six year old in my office a few weeks ago who told me that she learned to gyrate her hips from watching her favorite singer (not to me named) she also told me that it was good to be sexy. Why is it that parents are begging me to prosecute the older boy (18) when their 15-year-old daughter is just as active as a participant in the sex act as the boy? Why are parents so afraid to tell their daughters that their behavior is "slutty"? I am not calling on the band of all sexual connotations in our society. I am not a "footloose" conservative who doesn't want singing and dancing. I just want people, parents, teachers and all adults to provide proper guidance and education to our youth, because we are a nation that has gotten out of control when it comes to sex. My case load has increased dramatically.

I do though, have a secret weapon when these girls come into my office and think that they are "all that" because they have sex. I let them have a word with my assistant who gave birth at thirteen because she thought it was cool to have sex. She tells them like it is, how she missed her childhood because she was raising a baby, how hard she had to struggle to take care of the baby, and how her life was never hers. It's reality, smacking them in the face. Here what needs to be accomplished. We need to get off this sex merry go round, and stop including sexual innuendo in our everyday lives. What we see in our office is usually a downward spiral, girls having sex, getting pregnant, and then not caring or knowing how to care for that child. Now instead of showing up as a "victim" of sex abuse in our office they come in as the defendant because they have "neglected" the child. It can be a vicious cycle. All kids need to know is that dressing provocatively, or engaging in sexual behavior will not make them them more successful.

Confidence, self worth, and smarts will get them far, not a body that is open for business. All those girls that feel the need to show their talents by first showing their bodies should take a lesson from Adele the singer. She is dressed properly, doesn't promote sex in her messages and certainly does not feel the need to flaunt her assets in order to get an audience. She had the the number one album on the charts for the longest time. So you see it does work, sex doesn't always equal sales, it's talent, hard work and a sense of self that does.