The Tao of Love, Sex and Anti-Aging Part: 7

01/21/2011 10:06 am ET | Updated Nov 17, 2011
  • Stacey Nemour Black belt in Kung Fu, highly-respected martial artist

If you have been showing up for your relationship wholeheartedly and it seems to constantly take you to a place of not feeling good, then you need to do the inner-work that leads to self-growth by getting through to the other side. However, if you experience more waves of discomfort, where one is forced to turn oneself inside out and feel pushed to your limit, and you feel that it would be easier to just leave the relationship, there is a powerful meditation you can call on before you do anything rash:

"(Your mate's name) I now fully and freely forgive the God in you, (or use whatever term you feel comfortable with: Christ, Higher Self, Buddha, etc.) bless you and fully release you to go to your most high good. I give thanks (your mate's name) fully and freely forgives the God in me and now releases to my highest good. We both will go on to fulfill our highest destiny. I now fully and freely bless you and the situation. I give thanks for this lesson which has helped me get clarity about the kind of loving relationship I now want to attract."

Of course you can customize the exact words to fit what feels right to your current situation. During these turbulent moments in a relationship we are in an intense growth/lesson period. When you release your partner or situation in a loving way, only the highest and best outcome for all involved can manifest. When you "let loose, let go and let God," you can never lose what is for your most high good. When releasing someone or something before taking an action, guidance will follow. The person may leave or act-out and push the situation to a place where it's clearly time to end. Or things may easily just flow back to the most natural state which is love, peace, balance and harmony.

Angeles Arrien shares an important truth in her writings that we could benefit from in applying to our lives:

The ultimate work that needs to be done each day is to choose whether we will support our authentic self or support our false persona or dutiful self. It's essential to reveal ourselves without holding back or censoring ourselves in any way.

The state where negative emotions have a charge and you want to feel better by ending the relationship signals it's time to stop and get calm, clear and centered. This will give you and your partner a chance to process and expand. When we raise our consciousness to that new place there is a click! What immediately follows is feelings of relieve and peace when harmony is restored.

By releasing it first on the inside we no longer feel bound to it nor do we feel we have to come up with the solution. When we look to and surrender to the higher workings of Divine Wisdom we allow access to unseen forces to work through is us, put wings on us so we may fly up and over the appearance of a so called "problem".