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Why I'm Making My Husband Miss The Super Bowl (Sort Of)

Posted: 02/ 4/2012 4:13 pm

On Sunday, as fans of football and fans of commercials gather round the TV, my husband will be sitting with me at a devastatingly romantic restaurant. Our reservation is at 8pm, smack-dab in the middle of the game, and admittedly, this was not his first choice of plans. But before you judge me as a demanding, insensitive wife, I should explain: It's our anniversary. Our first anniversary.

We knew last year this would be an issue. When we were deciding on wedding date, I suggested February 5 because it wasn't going to be a busy traveling weekend and we both agreed that we wanted a winter wedding. (It would be in Houston, and a sweaty bride in a white dress taking pictures outdoors was not an option.) My husband's immediate response to this date: "But wait, Babe, the next day is the Super Bowl. We need to think about this." Josh has been a freelance photographer for Sports Illustrated and ESPN the Magazine and has actually been on the field for a Super Bowl, so I understood that this was a big deal for him. And yet I wasn't going to let a football game -- even the football game -- get in the way. We went ahead with that plan, he watched the game at my parents' house the next day and life was (and is) beautiful.

This year, as the season went along, I started to realize that Super Bowl might actually continue to be a threat. Not only would it be the same weekend this year, it would be the same day. Josh is a huge Houston Texans fan, so when they made the playoffs for the first time, I decided to be the Cool Newlywed Wife and make a deal with him: If his team made it to the Super Bowl, we could celebrate the day before. I hate to admit this, but I then secretly rooted for the other team -- the team whose name I couldn't tell you but that (thank goodness) -- ultimately won.

Before you start throwing rotten tomatoes, know that I make my fair share of sacrifices for my husband. Every weekday, I get up before 6:30 am to take the dog out because Josh has trouble sleeping. Plus, he gets back/foot rubs almost any time he because I know that his photo work is very physical and requires lots of strength.

I understand that this is just our first anniversary and there will be many more, but to me, this is a milestone worth celebrating. Just ask Kim Kardashian. Josh and I both agree that marriage is about compromise and wanting to make each other happy. (Gwyneth Paltrow agrees too, as we learned this week.) In Josh's ideal world, we would watch the game while enjoying pizza and beer with our buddies. In mine, we would watch no football and do what many women apparently would prefer to do on Super Bowl Sunday. But he wanted me to be happy so he agreed to our dinner reservation. And I wanted to make him happy so I agreed to get to the restaurant early and watch the game for 90 minutes at the bar. Besides, the black leather dress I plan on wearing Sunday night trumps Giants uniform spandex any day of the week.

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On Sunday, as fans of football and fans of commercials gather round the TV, my husband will be sitting with me at a devastatingly romantic restaurant. Our reservation is at 8pm, smack-dab in the middl...
On Sunday, as fans of football and fans of commercials gather round the TV, my husband will be sitting with me at a devastatingly romantic restaurant. Our reservation is at 8pm, smack-dab in the middl...
 
 
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jenniferkizzy
zombie chick
10:44 PM on 03/23/2012
and sport's car's and sport's illustrated swim suit addition and the whole playboy thing and i'm a woman a single one at that this brit chic like's all the same thing's men do save standing up and peeing that i don't like bye i kid
jenniferkizzy
zombie chick
10:42 PM on 03/23/2012
am i wrong for liking cheer leader's and foot ball and hunting and jeans and gun's and beer and tail gate parties you tell me
02:43 PM on 02/29/2012
too many unnecessary hostile comments! marriage is about compromise and both parties did. If you don't like it, don't get married!
10:46 PM on 02/24/2012
This is unbelievable. Your marriage has nothing to do with day that you got married or how many years you have been together. Celebrating your anniversary will not make your marriage last. But you know know what will? Giving and taking. Or better yet just giving. You have to let him have his time for his thing, and you can have time for yours. There could have been many alternative ways you both could have celebrated your anniversary. I wish you both the best and that you have many anniversaries t=n the years to come.
08:21 PM on 02/20/2012
Wow Stacey, you really laid an egg with this one. I don't know what you expected, perhaps some feminist accolades for putting your husband in his place and showing him who's boss, but from what I can see you didn't even get that. Good luck with what's left of your marriage; you're going to need it.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mulepick
10:02 AM on 02/18/2012
You have actually chosen option d, which is to wear his nuts on a chain around your neck so all can see who runs your marriage and who makes decisions about his job. Shame on him.
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Matt Wilding
Please look up words before using them.
10:02 PM on 02/17/2012
I want a followup article about how your marriage is strained because you made your husband a laughing stock at work.
06:08 PM on 02/09/2012
Guess I'm just too big a football fan - if my anniversary fell on the Superbowl I would definitely celebrate the day before - then I'd be drinking beer and eating snacks enjoying the game with all of our friends!
07:52 AM on 02/08/2012
the only wrong thing I see is you picking the wedding day knowing what it will turn into. I suggest marrying in church on different day and considering that your actual anniversary. I would be pissed if my husband did this for our anniversary but he did tell you!!!
08:00 PM on 02/07/2012
You made a reservation for dinner right smack dab in the middle of the Super Bowl? Why? Because the hours during the rest of the day didn't count? Obviously you were making a point, setting the tone, teaching a lesson - choose your poison. Next year I suggest that you make reservations for a romantic brunch and then both host a Super Bowl party with all of your friends. Your marriage is uniquely yours and your anniversary is Super Bowl weekend; that could be awesome or a battle of wills for the rest of your life.
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Adam Kontras
The World's First & Longest Running Video Blogger
05:45 PM on 02/08/2012
That is extremely logical and incredibly considerate.
07:45 PM on 02/07/2012
My husband is a musician, every year he always ends up getting some kind of gig on our anniversary, valentines day, birthday.... I NEVER complain he does those gigs for US! I get a sitter, put my party clothes on and dance during all of his solos! That's what marriage is about! I don't care what we do. we're together & we love each other. I would never THINK to guilt him in to doing what I want, how much fun would that date be...
04:16 PM on 02/07/2012
Regardless of how you feel about football, (and all the sexist comments aside), I can't help but think: this is something she knows is incredibly important to her husband. It also didn't start until 5:30. Their anniversary is all day. There is no law saying they have to go out to dinner that evening to celebrate. They could have had brunch together. When you marry someone, you say "your priorities are my priorities too". If it's important to him, be it the Superbowl or the season finale of American Idol, she should not dismiss it so callously. It wasn't a relatives wedding, or someone's funeral. It was an anniversary date. There is no reason those 4 hours our of the entire weekend needed to be when they went out. There was no need to "make" him do anything. This is a person who put her wants first and is apparently keeping track of all the "sacrifices" she's made the past year of ball and chain-age. Good luck getting to year 2.
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everonward
Let's leave Hitler, Mao, and Stalin out of it, ok?
03:41 PM on 02/07/2012
Although I'm sure husband put on a happy face; this kind of stuff often leads to resentment.
12:56 PM on 02/07/2012
While I wholeheartedly disagree with Stacey Merwin here, part of me feels bad for her, as she'll always remember her first anniversary as the time she publicly emasculated her husband and shamed her marriage.
The voyeur in me would really love to read about her husband's response to all this.
12:09 PM on 02/07/2012
Weddings are so overrated. The wedding is just so immaterial to the marriage. It is just one big expensive party. Young people need to focus on the relationship, not the party.