THE BLOG
01/22/2014 03:27 pm ET | Updated Mar 24, 2014

How to Attract a Partner In 7 Easy Steps

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There's certainly nothing wrong with being single. You can live and play by your own rules, do what you feel and sleep in the middle of the bed. At some point, you might get a feeling that you're ready to share your awesome life with another person. You may be ready to start a family or enjoy the benefits of being in a lasting, committed relationship. If you are tired of flying solo and are serious about meeting the person of your dreams, read on. From my personal experiences, I can confidently give you sure-fire tips to attract the person you desire.

I went through a devastating divorce and remarried my perfect partner in just over a year. During that process, I learned a lot about myself. While I wasn't necessarily looking to jump right into my next relationship, the changes that I made helped me attract my husband effortlessly. We've been happily married for 23 years and going strong with two great kids. We compliment each other in every way and have helped many people find their perfect relationship. I'm pretty sure I can help you do the same.

The biggest key to attracting a partner is becoming the person you truly want to be. In our mind's eye we have a vision of what it is like to be in that perfect relationship, how we want to treat our significant other and how they will treat us. Your visualization may derive from what you've seen from people's relationships that you respect and value. I am a firm believer that you can have the relationship of your dreams IF you are willing to put in the work now and later (once you've snagged your prince/princess).

1. Write down what you want. Make a list of at least 25 characteristics you want your ideal partner to have. What's written can become real. While some things on your list can be negotiable, you should also include a few 'deal breakers.' These are things that you feel strongly about and could potentially cause a problem in your future relationship. For instance, if you know for sure you want to have kids, it doesn't make sense to plan a future with someone who is set on not having any children.

Once your list is done, pretend that you're sending it out to your "relationship producer." Put the list on nice stationery. Post one copy up on your mirror so you can see it daily. Seal another copy in an envelope and then either mail it to your best friend or put it in a treasure box for safekeeping.

2. Create your "I will get a partner" storyboard. Using your list as a guide, create a visual for your ideal partner. Include everything -- what they look like, what your dates will look like, what you talk about, places you go, events you attend, how you both dress and what your life looks like together. My assistant was single for nine years before attracting her partner. She had a dream of marrying by the time she was 30. She took my advice to create a vision board (using her list as a guide) so that she could visualize her ideal relationship. Soon after that, she connected with a great guy she met in college. Their attraction was undeniable and he asked her to marry him. Ten months later they married, when they were both 30 years old.

The magic and manifestation happens by not just making the board, but taking 15 minutes daily to visualize it. See your perfect partner showing up in your life!

3. Increase your magnetism by becoming the type of person that will attract your ideal partner. For example, if you want someone who is fit, get fit yourself. If you want someone financially savvy, become savvy too. You can't expect to attract someone with the key qualities you desire if you can't offer those qualities in return. The focus shouldn't entirely be on what your partner will bring to the table. What will you bring to the table? Why should someone be attracted to you? Strive to be your best in all areas of your life. Explore your gifts and talents. Allow yourself to grow, change and mature. Don't waste time waiting for your life to change- - you change it. There are very few things that you need another person to help you accomplish.

4. Be happy. Many people wrongly believe that when they find a partner, they'll be happy. The truth is, no one but you is responsible for your happiness. If your happiness is contingent upon others, you will never truly be satisfied.

Happiness is attractive. Out of the 75 males I surveyed, 100% of them listed a partner's personal happiness as an attractive quality. Have you ever met someone who was the life of the party or their presence just lit up a room? Everyone wants to be around that person. If it's not in your character to be extremely outgoing, that's OK. The point is to exude happiness, because it makes you much more approachable. An inviting smile can give an interested onlooker the green light to come say "hi."

5. Adopt an attitude of gratitude. One sure-fire way to increase your happiness is by becoming grateful for what you already have. Find the silver lining in every situation in your life. Maybe you're grateful for past relationships because they helped you get clarity on what you really want in a partner. You can be grateful to wake up each day with an opportunity to meet someone new. When you show appreciation, you attract more goodness into your life.

You can also be grateful for what is to come by making a list of things your future partner does. Examples include, "I'm grateful my mate notices what I'm wearing and compliments me," or "I'm grateful they send me fresh flowers just because." One of my clients wrote this exact line in her journal, and within only 22 days she met someone who started sending her flowers with notes that read, "Just because..."

6. Practice bodybuilding. OK- - not literally. But learn to love your body. Become your best self by pampering yourself. Invest in spa treatments and massages, buy luxurious soaps and body washes, get beautiful towels and create a serene environment. Exercise and work toward getting healthy and fit.

Also, dress to impress. This is important because when you look good, you feel good. "Body building" will give your self-confidence and self-esteem a huge boost.

7. Do 25 new things you have never done. If you're not seen, you're not considered. Get out and go somewhere new. Create a list of 25 places to go. Some ideas are a great conference, a sports game, a new restaurant, a church service or the theater. You can even host an event. Do something outside of your comfort zone. This increases your chances of meeting your ideal partner. If you only hang out in the same spots or do the same things, how can you expect a different result? You are much more likely to meet someone new if you change up your routine.

You can exponentially increase the opportunities for running into your ideal partner if you try my attract-a-partner steps. I used these steps after my devastating divorce and in one year, I was remarried to my ideal man. These simple steps have helped others I coach get great results as well. Try them and you could potentially be planning your wedding a year from now!

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