Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors

Stacy Schneider Headshot

Jon Gosselin: Fool In Love (With Himself)

Posted: Updated:

The reputation of Jon and Kate Plus Eight's Jon Gosselin has turned from doting dad to sleazy cad. Less than two weeks after announcing he's divorcing mom-of-eight Kate, the ridiculously immature reality dad is behaving like a dog in heat. The bachelor wanna-be is living the high life, renting a NYC pad and jetting around the globe as he vacations with his new 22-year-old gal toy. As a former divorce lawyer and divorce book author, I have harsh words for this not-yet-divorced unrealistic reality star: Go home, fool, and work on your marriage.

Time to grow up, Jon. Marriage isn't easy. But for better or for worse, you are a father of eight little ones. You are living in a selfish fantasy world that because you "suffered" through a difficult marriage with an admittedly difficult woman, you are now entitled to experience new romance, cradle-robbing relationships, and the sexual chemistry that comes with new partners who are not your wife. Really. Do you think you are the only man whose marriage hit road bumps after the birth of a child? Now multiply those bumps by eight. Do you think the pressure and exhaustion of being a mother to eight kids with eight sets of emotional needs might have made Kate a more demanding and difficult human being? Welcome to the world of marriage after kids, Jon.

You have put your needs ahead of your many children's needs. A grown-up man would behave better.... and know better. Now, I am sure you have rationalized to yourself that you deserve your new life. That your soon-to-be-ex is a drill sergeant who annoys the hell out of you. That you have fallen out of love. That you felt trapped in your marriage and your life, and you don't want your kids to see two unhappy parents. And that you deserve to be "happy."

Wake up. Your happiness is a state of mind. You could choose to be happy in your own family. The reality is, Jon, fate gave you eight babies with Kate and you owe it to those children, and to her, to use your last breath to hold this family together. That means months, if not years of family counseling. That means suppressing your childish desires for new love when your marriage becomes lackluster, and at least making an attempt to re-kindle your old love with the woman you chose to marry and have babies with. And how about dropping the girlfriend and putting in the work-work-work required to hold your fragile family together. Back in the old days, it was called sticking it out for the sake of the kids.

What you need now is a staycation... at home with your children, who probably crave your comfort after witnessing their daddy romancing his new girlfriend on Entertainment Tonight and holding her hand on tabloid covers as they wait on line at the checkout counter with Mom. Giving your marriage the old college try would mean more to your kids than jumping into bed with 20-something girls gone wild would mean to your ego. And if down the long hard road of attempted reconciliation, things have not improved with Kate after all, maybe then you might explore other options quietly, outside the public eye. Sacrifice, Jon, isn't such a bad thing. Parents do it all the time.