The first in a series celebrating our nation's classic memes.

At the dawn of U.S. history, little George Washington cut down a cherry tree and refused to lie about it. Except he didn't.

Actually, very little is known about the father of our country, because he did his...

Today we kick off our first contest: Define "meme" without giving an example of a meme.

This would seem to be an easy task, but in reality it isn't. Absolutely not one person I've asked can do it without resorting to things like, "You know it when you see...

My pal Dave from IT comes into my office yesterday, which was unusual in the sense that I didn't have an incident to write up, nothing had crashed, I didn't anticipate his entrance, it was totally unexpected, and this made me nervous. IT comes when called. IT speaks when it...

Exclusive! Kinky sex at Caesar's swimming pool! (31 AD) Lazy, no-show emperor Tiberius found in naked sex-romp with underage boys at his lewd and lacivious luxury getaway in Capri! "I like to swim underneath them and grab their junk," perverted Caesar tells an unnamed "member" of his legion. "He'll never...

We're into an orgy of sin and confession right now that brings to mind the old Stalinist show trials of the 1930s and the culture of confession practiced by the Chinese government since the days of Mao Tse-tung.

The dance is formal and almost totally devoid of its purported...

Dude, you're going about this thing all wrong. You've got to play the game that got you here. Up until now, you've been smart, funny and, to use perhaps an inappropriate word in this situation... cocky. Now you're running and hiding and saying dumb things like you can't tell with...

The World Health Organization has studied the matter and come to the conclusion that yeah, maybe, it's just possible that sticking a cellular telephone up your ear canal every day for eight or nine hours may do something to your brain. No duh.

We don't need the WHO to tell...

I dreamed I died and went to computer heaven. And lo, I had passed to the next realm, and found myself standing before the great and awesome entrance to my celestial reward, and there was a nerd in a business suit with no tie holding a tablet. And lo, upon...

I'm really sorry now that I sold all my worldly possessions last Friday, and especially that I drank my last bottle of expensive scotch on Saturday morning. Now it's clear I'm going to have to replace all that crap with new crap and stock my liquor cabinet again. There will...

Look. I'm probably the only one around who feels this way, but I'm getting pretty sick of people being busted for sexual indiscretions. I'm not talking about rapists, excuse me, ALLEGED rapists like our visitor now on bail from the IMF, or alleged abusers or bullies, or even the occasional...

1. Why the Sofitel? It's in Times Square, and is fine as far as that goes, but the Ritz Carlton is on the park and even more expensive. You would think that if one were the head of the IMF one would abuse one's expense account at a much more ostentatious...

1. They have a serious legal or ethical concern about some activity of their company, and feel it can only be redressed with the help of the media. Karen Silkwood comes to mind.

2. They are happy people who want to share their happiness with the world. They think something...

NEW YORK, LOS ANGELES & SILICON VALLEY, Calif., May 9, 2011 -- The National Association for Serious Studies (NASS) -- a research association dedicated to a variety of serious studies -- today announced the results of a decades-long research effort that uncovers solid evidence that CEOs are just like babies....

Well, after all the hoopla and the pipes and drums and fabulous global marketing and crazy stuff like that, it was really a very nice, simple affair. I'm sure that all of us who were there had a very good time.

Of course, it was a bit of a hassle...

Obviously, many of the plans surrounding the Royal Wedding are shrouded in thick London fog. The Queen, presumably, doesn't want to spoil the drama. Nobody knows, for instance, how many Welch Corgis will be in attendance, and who will be assigned to walk them if they become obstreperous during the...

The Royal Wedding website announced today the seating chart for the great event that's taking place this Friday morning. For some reason, I'm not on it. Victoria and David Beckham will be there. So will Sir Elton John. I understand that. I also get why Rowan Atkinson will...

I don't know about you, but I'm all in a swivet about the Royal Wedding. My invitation seems to have been lost in the mail, but I'm not going to let that stop me. I'm sure it's just an oversight. These things happen to me all the time. In the...

I don't care what the Republicans say. Ketchup is not a vegetable. Trees do not destroy the atmosphere. And everywhere you go, the world is melting and freezing in bizarre ways. For most people who work in one location, commute to the office, put in their time and go home,...

So yesterday Standard & Poor, for reasons best known to itself, put the United States on a negative outlook. It didn't actually downgrade the nation, but it cast a dim light on the future, sort of put a small turd in the punchbowl of the recovery.

This of...

Spring has sprung at long last. It's been a long, cold winter, and the teeny weeny crocuses (croci?) now popping up their little blue heads in the park are very welcome indeed. So is all the good news that's apparently bursting forth along with them.

First, the Journal