<i>Fortune</i>'s Stanley Bing

Fortune's Stanley Bing

Posted: October 16, 2009 02:39 PM

10 Ways You Can Celebrate Boss's Day

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  1. Say "Happy Boss's Day" to your boss. Without irony, if possible.
  2. If you have a problem on the job, do not bring it to your boss on this day without also carrying with you an appropriate solution. This will be a nice change for some of you.
  3. If there is an issue that you know has been bothering him, do not bring it up. In fact, don't talk to him about anything substantive at all. And if you know he doesn't really like you very much, don't talk to him.
  4. Drop by and sit in her guest chair for a while without asking her for a single darn thing. Like, for just this one day make believe that there's nothing you want from her except the pleasure of her company. Tomorrow will be here soon enough.
  5. If you and Forbisher are at odds again, do not descend on your boss's office asking for adjudication. Work it out between you, you big babies.
  6. If you are the boss of a boss, do not pick this day to torture him or her about his or her expense report. No boss should do anything to any other boss today that makes them feel less like a boss and more like a piece of phlegm in the lungs of the corporation.
  7. If your boss is on the road, call him and wish him many happy returns.
  8. Why not ask him out for a drink after work? If you usually do that anyway, have an extra one "For the boss." You pick it up. Do not put it on your company card, if you have one, or have trouble finding your wallet if you do not.
  9. If his or her door is closed, slip a little card saying "I love you" under it, unless that violates local sexual harassment policies. If it does, change it to read, "I like you very much."
  10. Come on! Give him a hug! Doesn't that feel good? No? Well, it's not supposed to!

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- S- I'm a Fan of S- 5 fans permalink

Most bosses I've known, with a few exceptions, care about one overriding thing - covering their own ass in any given situation. You don't have to contribute anything of value to be a boss. As a matter of fact, people with some of the worst traits are promoted because of those very traits. You needn't work hard or smart, or have anything new to contribute. You merely have to be "on board" with the agenda of the person or people above you to be considered boss material. They don't care about you, what you think, doing the right thing when they don't have to, or going out of their way for you in any way whatsoever, will rarely if ever admit they were wrong, never give credit where credit is due, and will reward those agreeable to themselves. They will, however, and on occasion, feign a caring attitude, and will be the first to treat you and reward you just like a child. Happy boss's day!

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:45 PM on 10/17/2009
- Leper I'm a Fan of Leper 11 fans permalink
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I plan on celebrating Boss's Day by not farting in his office when he's gone out to lunch.

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:08 PM on 10/17/2009
- traveling1 I'm a Fan of traveling1 8 fans permalink
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What are you all complaining about? We have employee day every two weeks - it's called payday! Don't worry about our shrinking pay checks and benefits and 401Ks while we work longer and harder.... instead we should just be thanking them for not firing us in order to increase the quarterly stock price and get bigger bonuses!

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:15 PM on 10/17/2009
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I'd rather celebrate it Klingon Style, with a sword... Time for my promotion!

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:38 PM on 10/17/2009
- Leper I'm a Fan of Leper 11 fans permalink
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!

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:03 AM on 10/18/2009
- Leper I'm a Fan of Leper 11 fans permalink
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I'd say "live long and prosper", but as you can see I cannot form the proper hand gesture.

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:35 AM on 10/21/2009
- wietog I'm a Fan of wietog 25 fans permalink
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This is ridiculous.

The only real way to celebrate your (former) boss's day is:

Invite him/her to your makeshift tent for cold franks-n-beans and sprinkle them with confetti made from the former titles to your home and car and play show and tell, pointing out all the medical/dental issues you are having that you can't get fixed without insurance.

Then, ask him how he's enjoying his private jet and island.

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:41 PM on 10/17/2009
- woodshoe I'm a Fan of woodshoe 26 fans permalink
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i was a boss for many years, the moral perversion of giving orders to other human beings ultimately made it impossible to continue.

a better way to celebrate bosses day;
gather with your coworkers and form an on-the-spot wildcat union,.. begin democratic proceedings to FIRE the BOSS and FIRE the OWNER. ( then, perhaps offer them honest productive work that actually adds value to the world.)

as a former boss myself, i know that every day is bosses day, don't let them fool you.

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:24 AM on 10/17/2009
- JScott I'm a Fan of JScott 21 fans permalink

Boss'es get a day?

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:17 AM on 10/17/2009

I am a boss and I despise bosses day. It is a sorry excuse of a made up day to enrich the card industry. It is absolutely reprehensible to put employees, whose evaluations I do, in the position of having to figure out what to do for me for bosses day. And as to the thought of people who make less money than I do buying me gifts -- well, that is just ridiculous. Unfortunately, MY boss loves bosses day. She wants the biggest hoopla possible made over her so someone on her staff always sends an email to everyone in her chain of command announcing there will be a celebration -- this year a potluck breakfast. Which I skipped. But my folks know how I feel about bosses day so they're off the hook for even the price of a card. They give me gifts every day -- they work hard, care about the quality of the work they do, endeavor to develop their skills and they treat each other with respect. So I guess you're right, gunnergoz, for me every day is bosses day.

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:24 PM on 10/16/2009
- mlaiuppa I'm a Fan of mlaiuppa 39 fans permalink
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I wish you were my boss.

Any chance you'll become a high school principal?

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:03 PM on 10/16/2009

And I wish you worked for me. No chance of me becoming a principal. I hope you are appreciated. And if you're not, I hope you soon find a better situation where you are valued.

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:34 AM on 10/17/2009
- django707 I'm a Fan of django707 15 fans permalink

Wait, there is an official boss's day? How do we celebrate?
By groveling at their feet, licking their boots, and telling them how brilliant they are?

Don't we do that everyday, anyway?

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:56 PM on 10/16/2009
- Leper I'm a Fan of Leper 11 fans permalink
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You stole my thunder.

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:43 AM on 10/17/2009

Let me suggest that on Boss's day you try to appear a bit more sincere about it all: more wiggle in the grovel, tongue in the licking and conviction in the telling. Thank you.

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:29 PM on 10/17/2009
- gunnergoz I'm a Fan of gunnergoz 68 fans permalink
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"Bosses Day?" It seems to me that every day is Bosses Day.

    Reply    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:17 PM on 10/16/2009

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