Executricks Contest, Part Deux: More Good Stuff

It's clear some very smart people cruise Huffington Post, already practiced in the art of retiring while they are still working.

CW of Brooklyn, New York, observes that "a good Memory: knowing everything about your work even if you're not really doing it is wholly underrated. When you know a lot about something, people just assume you're working hard on it." This is probably what guys like Henry Kissinger did for years while half their lives were spent getting ready for dinner parties.

A guy who doesn't even want me to reveal his initials, although he did provide his email address in case of victory, really got into the issue in a totally granular way. I mean, look at this: "I am not an Executive," he writes, "but I can tell you what my boss does to shirk all work-related activity/responsibility." He then goes on, in time-honored grieved-employee style, to rat on his superior, whose policy it is to do the following:

(1) be a time nazi; always make sure to glance at a nearby time-telling device when any employee enters, or exits; this instills fear that the Exec is keeping a time-table of tardiness and lunch hour excess;

(2) schedule calls with your wife, husband, daughter, son, but respond to them in a business voice;

(3) schedule meaningless meetings at all times of the day and maximize meeting length by making pointless commentary regarding Apple products;

(4) entertain sales calls and end with an angry phone slam;

(5) randomly purchase treats for employees; this would make anyone suspicious and, therefore, paranoid that they are about to lose their job; no one trusts goodwill from a superior;

(6) take regularly planned 'abbreviated' lunches...that is to say, return from lunch 20 min after having left; this makes one seem incredibly devoted to the art of work and also inspires indigestion in employees

"That's all I got," he concludes. "Please withhold publishing my name and email address."

I will, my friend. And a word to the wise executive: either don't pull your tricks around somebody as smart as this guy, or fire him when you see his hairy eyeball on ya.

And until next time, as we hone in on a potential winner in this sweepstakes, that's all I got as well. Believe it or not, I've got to go back to work.

Previously:
Executricks Contest: Everybody's A Winner! (Until I Make Up My Mind)
Send Us Your Executricks: A Contest For Those Who Seek To Retire While They're Still Working