Spectacular Product Failure of the Month

You may have noticed that as our quality of technology improves, things work less. For instance, I have an LG phone that quite stupidly has no input for a headset. Perhaps it's not stupidity or their part or mine. Perhaps it was just optimism and irrational belief in Bluetooth. Whatever. That faith was ill-founded in this case. The Bluetooth never really worked. The phone goes from two bars to dead in a matter of minutes. I'm getting a new one this week. So it goes.

I'm sure you have your own stories of crashes, intermittent meltdowns, inexplicable corruptions in underlying code, abrupt failures of exciting, leading-edge hardware over time. But you rarely run into a product that immediately, spectacularly, flamboyantly, doesn't do what it was supposed to do right out of the box. You have to take your hat off to that kind of thing, really. There's something pure about it.

So yesterday morning I was in San Francisco airport. They have a very good store there called Techshowcase. It's what you think it is. Headphones. Protective gear for iPods, iPhones, laptops. Cables up the yinyang. Nice sales people who always say, "No problem," when you say, "Thank you."

Last year I purchased a cable/plug thang for my Macbook Pro there, so that I could keep my battery charged in flight. It looked simple. Plug the unit into the cigarette-lighter outlet in the seat. Plug the regular Mac power cable into the unit. Presto. Worked for a while. Then it didn't. Turns out that it wasn't the proper voltage for a Mac. Okay, they should have told me when I bought it, but I think they didn't know either and honestly, no harm, no foul, we tried. Time to try again.

This time I asked specifically: What do you have to power a Mac in flight? And there it was -- the Cobra Microport. Elegant little leather carrying case. Mac compatibility promised on the packaging. Equally simple. Plug the Cobra into the seat, plug the Mac into the Cobra. What could go wrong?

I got to my seat with that wonderful sense of anticipation that precedes the first use of any new piece of technology, no matter how simple. We got to 10,000 feet. The little bell went off that signals the point where electrical items can be turned on. The captain made the announcement to that effect.

I unwrapped my little Cobra Microport. How neat, I thought. A cigarette-lighter style plug. A cable. A little box with two inputs, a USB port, and a fuse. I carefully plugged the cigarette lighter plug into the provided cable. I respectfully introduced the other end of the cable into the jack on the Cobra Microport. I then plugged the unit into the DC jack in the seat. In short succession, the following things happened:

-- There was a loud popping sound...

-- ... a large puff of smoke;

-- A dramatic blue light flashed from the Cobra Microport;

-- An acrid scent of burning rubber and metal rose about me;

-- The little box glowed with the intensity of the blaze that raged within it;

-- The Power light, which had shone a friendly green for about two seconds, turned red.

-- That was that.

I had a car once that lost its transmission on the Mass Pike. Just dropped right out of it. Vehicle had only 6000 miles on it. That was disappointing, not to mention dangerous. I've had milk that was sour right out of the carton. I even had a blender that threw Margarita mix all over my kitchen once. But I've never had an piece of electronics quite literally explode the moment I plugged it in. Once I realized that my seat was not going melt with me in it, I have to say it was kind of funny, actually.

Of course, my computer ran out somewhere over St. Louis and I had to watch the movie. Race to Witch Mountain. Not bad, especially with the sound off.

This morning I begin the next phase of this interesting tale. The documentation on the Cobra Microport says I should send the object in and wait four to six weeks while they repair it. I don't think so. I mean, we'll just see about that.

How about you? Got any similar tales to tell? If so, start your engines. That is, if they do start. These days you never know.

Comments

[JScott]

Anyone remember the Edsel?

Then there was the electric scissors that curved the wrong way so you couldn't see what you're cutting.

I never could get those home paint sprayers to work, even after thinning the paint, I always ended up
renting a commercial quality one.

Then there's the wireless mouse with the batteries in the mouse, no recharger, that you have to remove after you turn your computer off otherwise the batteries drain.

Manufacturers need to do a little more thinking before they introduce a new product.

[tck29]

About 12 years ago, I bought my first cordless phone. Does anyone know of a manufacturer who makes a cordless phone designed to work more than 12 months? I have had at least 6 different sets of phones in the last decade! Yes, I continue to use them after they have passed optimal performance (at around a year) but phones used to be a one-time investment. Planned obsolescence is a pain in the ass!

[pleaseIMPEACH]

Did you drop an F-word during the flight when the the said event took place?

Maybe your product was made on a Friday at 3.30pm as the workers were
thinking about the weekend ahead.

My GM Venture van was made on a Friday by the 'lemon shift' and failed right
after the 60'000 kms warrenty

You forgot to mention if you were sat in coach......I'm sure biz class plugs work better!.

Love reading your stuff.

[NevaforLeadership]

I've got some advice. Switch. MAC has always been hot on show; poor on utility. That's why the world uses Microsoft.

I expect your little plug-in gadget didn't like to be attached to a MAC.

[steppenwolfsayshi]

This story is great! The worst product I ever bought was an IBM Thinkpad in college. I bought it through the college laptop program, so you get free repairs. By the end of college, my hard drive, mother board (twice), cd burner (twice) and network card all had to be replaced and by the time the Windows had been updated so many times by the time I was ready to graduate, just running Windows took the entire memory of the computer.
And since the Thinkpad was bought by almost everyone in the entire university, I can tell you that my experience was completely normal (and with limitless free repairs, upgrades and tech help).

[crackedbeak]

Just spend the $50 and enjoy your Mac.
http://store.apple.com/us/product/MB441Z/A?fnode=MTY1NDEwMQ&mco=MjE0ODI2OQ

[Querent]

Thanks for the heads up. I suspect that the input voltage to the Cobra Microport was probably much higher than it was designed for. At least it burned up, instead of transferring a killer jolt of too-high voltage to the MacBook Pro. Or more likely, the Apple engineers put an overload circuit into the MacBook. Some companies still know how to do things right.

[GreatNews27]

I got this new president last year. The package made all the right claims and promises. Once put to work though, this president proceeded to exibt the exact same malfunctions of the old president. He would not obey the law, he would not perform as promised, he appeared to be one thing but in reality he was the opposite. I am trying to return him but get no answer from the help desk. What can I do?

[COPerez]

Wow. Not only will I not fly with Stanley, I don't want to be in the same store with him when buying electronics!

My experience with electronics (other than the crappy old IBM - Windows boxes we use at work) has been mostly positive.

[Lochmon]

You left out the part of the story how, after the explosion, the air marshalls jumped you and wrestled you to the floor of the aisle. Or whatever.

C'mon... there must have been SOME reaction from the flight crew and the other passengers.

[valhalladad]

Then we could have been treated to the part of the story that they couldn't taser him because his electrical malfunction disabled their equipment.

[SanTang]

There is nothing else to be expected from a consumer based society. In the long run ethics seems to vanish somewhere in the toxic cloud of excuses. But is'nt ethics just another elitist word anyway?

In our world, it becomes "normal" if a brand new product does not perform as it should. This mentality has developped during the last 50-60 years. It has been most apparent in the computer and software industry . How many times have we been happy enough to wait for the soon to come patch.

I never could understand why a flawed product would be released based on a promised date. It seems that our customers (all of us consumers) prefer to get junk in time rather than wait a few days or weeks if necessary for a good quality product. After all, it is well known that the consumer mass will gobble up whatever shamwow we try to sell them.

I think that this mentality of tolerating lower quality eventually spread to all areas : manufacturing, managing, advertising, journalism, politics. Not in that order, mind you, because such a mentality has to be forced from the top down.

It is a matter of true leadership, another concept lost somewhere in our belief that if anything went wrong, a super-hero would fly down from the sky save us. There is no one out there to save us but ourselves. And whatever we do, we have to do right, at least honestly try to.

[Querent]

It all started when workers with experience in the work that was actually being done were rejected for promotion in favor of MBAs. An MBA is probably the most fraudulent degree this side of Education. It's a way of paying money to get a piece of paper that says you have abilities and skills that you probably don't have. George Bush is the classic example. Of course, no one can check to see whether these people actually have the skills and abilities, until after they're hired. As supervisors. You know, the people nobody checks on?

[AnotherMcIntosh]

Absolutely right. Are all these MBAs who are hired as supervisors but who screw things up the sons and daughters of the ultra-rich? Do they every learn? Do they every care?

[NHBill]

So wait ...this guys logo is Alfred Hitchcock smoking a cigarette in a holder?
What is it 1958?

[DissedBeliever]

Bing thinks that airplanes have cigarette lighters in the arm rests so, yes, he has to be living sometime in the 1950's.

[QueenCeleste]

If only! I think his logo is divine. And the profile is much trimmer than Hitchcock's.

[sve]

I think you must have offended the Portable Electronics Gods at some point in your past.

[gsteinum]

i sympathize, really i do. people need to be cautious and well informed about what they purchase. finding out all that you can about a product - before buying it - is even more important in these deregulated times than ever before. and even then, there are often no real guarantees the product will do what the company claims it will. if you like beaurocracy, you can always deal with the consumer protection agency (underfunded and understaffed). with computers, it's probably best to get information from the maufacturer (of the computer)as to what works with it. you can also notify the better business bureau,but how many people really check with the bbb before making a small electronic device purchase? how many people even know how to contact the bbb? instead of providing a specific example (time warner cable, a wisconsin phenomena) which would be too lengthy an example(s); i laud your efforts to shed light on shabby products. i also offer a suggestion: maybe you shouldn't purchase new fangled stuff at all.

[elaygee]

AND, after 6 months of little use, our new Kenmore Elite convection wall oven (Made by Electrolux) caused the cabinet to catch fire because it was incorrectly installed and grounded by Sears installers. Another fun barn burner for which they gave us a new oven and cabinets.