The Grammar Police Strikes Again!

03/18/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011
  • Stanley Bing Fortune columnist and best-selling author of business books

I must be out of my mind to care about this spelling, punctuation and grammar nonsense. Nobody else seems to. People go around, in meetings, in casual conversation, in e-mails, "Your right," an otherwise quite brilliant colleague will message me. Or, "Its something I want to do." "Their you go," another will reply. And I look at it and think, "Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider."

In conversation, I have peeves. I mourn the disappearance of "You're welcome." I had a business junket last week, for instance, at the Langham Hotel in San Marino, California, which is a little corner of Pasadena noted for its (not it's!) elegance, style, wealth and general panache. It used to be a Ritz Carlton, but changed ownership a few years ago and the new operators are terrific. The place shines. Everybody is very nice. Everything went very smoothly at the front desk. "Thank you," I said to the nice woman there. "No problem," she replied. "Thank you," I said to the guy who brought me my first martini. "No problem," he replied. "Thank you," I said to the bellhop who fetched my car from the garage when I left. "No problem," he replied.

I'm not sure why that one bothers me so much, but it doesn't really matter. That ship has sailed. "You're welcome" is kaput.

For anybody who does care about this kind of idiocy, I have a terrific website to recommend to you. It's from a person who calls himself The Oatmeal. In this post, he goes through the top mistakes people make, including the There, They're, Their situation, Its and It's, and many others. The guy (non-gender usage applies) also illustrates his own stuff, and it's very entertaining. You can go there and enjoy all the distinctions that only fussy fuddy duddies and out-of-the-demo geezers seem to notice these days. Fortunately, we're still in power for a while.

Until then, you're welcome.