You Know, Drinking Ain't So Bad for Most
The New York Times' "Proof: Alcohol and American Life" blog recently ran three pieces by recovering alcoholics (the third by Susan Cheever) who struggle to avoid drinking at seasonal parties, which has led them deeply astray in the past.
Fair enough. But the drunken spectacles they describe reflect a different experience with alcohol than many others have had. After all, human beings have been drinking alcohol enjoyably together for centuries. This is one reason the practice of consuming alcoholic beverages continues.
I live across the hallway from the brother of a hall-of-fame baseball player -- one of the first African-Americans to play in the major leagues. My neighbor has three kids, innumerable friends, and even more innumerable stories about ballplayers, the segregated U.S. army during World War II, and life in the South before moving to New Jersey.
The other night, another neighbor (who came to New Jersey via Brooklyn and the Dominican Republic) hosted a small gathering -- just the three of us -- to celebrate our older friend's 87th birthday. Provisions consisted of a pleasant living room, a full moon, and single malt scotch on the rocks.
We practiced harm reduction. None of us got stinking drunk. Furthermore, the birthday boy and I each only had to stagger back out across the hallway -- not only no driving, but no steps! For all of us, such events are infrequent at this point in our lives (I'm in my sixties and the host in his forties).
We discussed how we each first drank. Our Latino friend got drunk at age 12 on Cuba Libre (which he had to explain means Bacardi rum and coke). Some years later, his first American employer took him out for a drink, and explained that stylish people drank scotch genteelly -- a lesson he has adhered to ever since.
I described my deprived upbringing where I tasted the horribly sweet Manischewitz wine as a kid. Later, I started hitchhiking from Philly to New York with friends to see jazz greats like Thelonius Monk. There were two-drink minimums, and - overhearing someone else's order - I had Seven and Sevens (Seagram's 7 whiskey and 7-Up).
Our older friend claimed he waited until he was 21, then had a drink of good liquor with his father, himself a moderate drinker. "What," I exclaimed. "You never drank until then?" "Well, I had some wine," he filled in. He also described having a couple of rounds of clear moonshine in Alabama from his uncle's still some time later.
For all of us, our initiation into drinking was a significant event, generally positive after perhaps some early mishaps, involving nonalcoholic role models and people meaningful to us and important things going on other than drinking.
As a result, we all survived without becoming alcoholics. What's more, we all enjoy a drink. What's more, we all feel it is appropriate to use alcohol to celebrate. What's more, on a special occasion, like an 87th birthday, we might drink a little more than usual and get slightly giddy.
Maybe that's why we ended the evening with a group hug.
And, you know, we all felt great the next morning.
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Stanton the "harms reduction" theory is great for non-alcoholic EtOH abusers to try but what about the real alcoholic? When I drank I drank to feel whole. Until I had a few drinks I was restless, irritable and discontent with myself, life and the world and so couldn’t operate with any semblance of normalcy within it.
I would have sold my soul to become a part of the world into which I had been born. And of course I did. It is not a metaphor. Alcoholic was my medicine - my solution - not my problem and so is the case with all alcoholics. How does reducing the dosage of our medicine help anything Stanton? When alcohol is removed from the real alcoholic he gets worse - not better. How does leaving a miserable, sick and lonely person - who needs EtOH to live add up to the reduction of harms when he is now going to be such a miserable, sick SOB that his own kids and spouse will wind up on the counselors couch or prison because of it? How is that a reduction of harms? I have found that unless someone have a completed “psychic change” there is no hope -- WITH that change there is nothing but.
Danny S - RLRA
Real Live Recovered Alcoholic
http://rec
Frunobulax57: I have found that unless someone have a completed "psychic change" there is no hope -- WITH that change there is nothing but.
===
That's what you found...fo
Stanton, you just will not acknowledge that there is a small percentage of the population for whom your measure will not work because they are physically and mentally different than most other with drinking problems - who abuse alcohol. These are people who cannot moderate. No matter what. They have a mental obsession coupled with a physical abnormality. Will you ever admit and acknowledge that such a minority of people exist ? Ever?
Danny S - RLRA
Real Live Recovered Alcoholic
http://rec
What's it to you whether he acknowledges it or not? It's your recovery, not his.
This is a good post that hits at a core issue with our Culture of Health. You see this problem in our very Puritanical view of the world, in which we advocate abstenence over responsibility.
Whether it's sex, alcohol, or eating, we are much more comfortable avoiding the more nuanced issue of "how much is enough", "under what conditions", and "how to have something good without getting yourself in trouble".
The idea of teaching people To Drink Responsibly, To Eat Responsibly, To Be A Sexual Person Responsibly strikes many as wrong and just weird. However, it is as simple as it is overly simplistic to avoid responsibility by saying "Just Don't Have Sex, Just Don't Drink Alcohol, Just Don't Eat Chocoate".
This stoic approach works, but only for a minority of individuals. We need to change our culture of health to embrace responsibility.
All things in moderation.
Mr. Peele, I read some of your books many years ago. You must have started at a young age!
Enjoy.
Eating two large cream filled glazed donuts ' Ain't So Bad For Most ' either; Stanton Peele, unless you are a diabetic.
Running two blocks to catch a bus ' Ain't So Bad For Most ' either, unless you have emphysema.
Putting salt on your food ' Ain't So Bad For Most ' either, unless you have hypertension.
' Drinking Ain't So Bad For Most ', unless you are an alcoholic.
You might have well as written your post in respnonse to an article about how diabetics choose to control their sugar intake and then gone on to say how you ate two pieces of cake at your friend's birthday party. ;-)
Take a chill pill. It ain't so bad for you.
I'll drink to that! Sober people are boring...l
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