THE BLOG

Feeding the Beast: Divorce British Style

02/14/2008 06:54 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

The nasty and drawn out divorce battle between Paul
McCartney and Heather Mills may soon be over.
Thankfully, the judge has imposed a gag order so the
media will have to sit tight on the sidelines while
all the legal action happens behind closed doors.

Kudos your honor.

My tolerance for news stories based on rumor, gossip,
and innuendo was reached and surpassed a long time
ago, and there is no question that there has been
plenty of this kind of silliness since Sir McCartney
and Mills first split up. With allegations of affairs
and physical and emotional abuse all over the London
tabloids and in the world press, it seems to be lost
on everyone that there's an innocent child at the
center of this perfect storm.

Lord, what will we do when people learn to keep their
private business private? How nasty is it that people
who were once close to both these people are now
coming out of the woodwork to pile on to the pain?
It's sad when someone supposedly in a trusted position
close to you, betrays your bond by talking about
intimate details of your past relationship. Not only
is it sad; it is desperate, tacky and despicable. If
the best thing to ever happen to you is that you were
friends (or lovers) with me, I'm screwed big time from
the starting gate. It's like kicking someone when
they're down; and in something as personal as a
divorce -- it doesn't help either side. Yes, I'm a member
of the media, but I'm glad a judge has finally put an
end to all of these leaks. There is something
"unseemly" about knowing this much about other
people's private lives -- at least that's what the
deaconesses at my church would say.

Not that I want to become the expert on this, but it
seems to me that when you get a divorce, it's in
everyone's best interest to simply approach it from
the "it didn't work" perspective. Agree that you went
into the marriage with the best of intentions, and
that it didn't work out. Further, when you have
children, the only question should be, "How do we
resolve this marriage with our child or children in
mind without causing more pain to each other?"

Here are the facts. The McCartney divorce will
obviously be one of the largest settlements we've ever
seen. Rest assured no one is going to go hungry on
either side. The numbers that have been floated are
completely off the charts for most people going
through a similar situation. In the "real" world, most
couples who are dividing their finances after a
divorce, struggle with how they're going to feed their
children and keep a roof over their heads. McCartney
and Mills are so rich, they won't be worried about
whether they can feed their child, their only concern
will be what cuisine to feed their child and in which
country they want to experience that particular
cuisine.

The goal here for McCartney and Mills needs to be to
walk away with dignity and grace and focus on their
child and what is in her best interest. From the
outside looking in, someone who loves either of them
needs to remind both of them that Beatrice, their
child is the product of the marriage when it was at
its happiest, and not a factor in it at its most
painful. Hurting each other during this difficult
time only makes it worse for everyone and feeds the
media's insatiable appetite for a good headline. Just
because we're hungry, doesn't mean you need to provide
the feast.