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Stella Boonshoft

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Posting My Half-Naked Picture On The Internet: The Backstory

Posted: 10/19/2012 2:39 pm

Editor's note: In addition to publishing the blog post that has gotten Stella so much attention this week, we wanted to publish two posts she's written since. This one on the origins of her body image issues first appeared on the Humans of New York Facebook Page.

I struggled with body image my whole life. As a young teen, I was diagnosed with Polycystic ovarian syndrome. PCOS makes it incredibly hard to lose weight, and spikes up your insulin levels which can lead to diabetes and other complications. I felt like I was just getting bigger and bigger and could do nothing to stop it. I was so awkward and uncomfortable with what I looked like that I began to self-medicate in the way most teenagers do, except it was to a scary excess. Finally, my parents intervened and when I was 15 I got the help I needed. The past 2 and a half years have essentially been a struggle to come to terms with who I am and live life in a constructive, not destructive manner.

A couple weeks ago, I started a blog, just as a way to get out my thoughts and feelings. I found the body acceptance movement online, and it was like my eyes were open for the first time. I realized that my size or weight is not something to be ashamed of, it is a part of me. Health and weight are not synonymous, and I know that to be healthy means to manage my sobriety and PCOS the best that I can. I may not ever be thin, but that's okay. It's all about progress, not perfection.

So I posted a picture of myself in my underwear with a message to all the people who'd ever bullied me about what I looked like. Amazingly, in less than a week, it got over 50,000 likes and reblogs. It's upwards of 80,000 now, and the response has been 90 percent positive, I would say.

Two friends of mine, Savanna and Lucy, are in the process of planning a documentary on sizeism and its effect on young girls. My dream is to go back to my middle school, where all my body image issues began, and work with young girls on the issues of self-esteem, body image, sizeism, and bullying. I want to give these girls something I never knew, which was that your body does not define who you are as a person. To people who judge people on their size, weight, pants size or health -- shame on you. No one is the authority on beauty, and everyone has a different road to trudge to happy destiny.

stella boonshoft

This post originally appeared on the Humans of New York Facebook page.

MORE FROM FROM STELLA:

Read Stella's initial post and see the picture that sparked so much commentary.

 

Follow Stella Boonshoft on Twitter: www.twitter.com/brrbitchbrr

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Editor's note: In addition to publishing the blog post that has gotten Stella so much attention this week, we wanted to publish two posts she's written since. This one on the origins of her body image...
Editor's note: In addition to publishing the blog post that has gotten Stella so much attention this week, we wanted to publish two posts she's written since. This one on the origins of her body image...
 
 
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Gregoris Kalai
01:02 AM on 11/18/2012
You are an amazing person, just thought you should know that. Big fan of HONY and of college students tackling issues bigger than themselves by taking the first step--kudos!
03:47 AM on 10/29/2012
She is unhealthy, but if she's comfortable with that, then no worries. This website blog has summed up the abuse and self deception of the term 'real woman' very well. It’s an interesting but honest read. It WILL tread on some toes! I certainly gave the article a 'Like'!
http://lifenergy.com.au/blog/
03:21 PM on 11/14/2012
You do realize that her "health" is what is causing her to have weight problems in the first place?
I think if you read up on the truths about weight and not what America spoon feeds you into believing, you might just be surprised at how many skinny people are unhealthy compared to those who weight more. It also might surprise you to what exactly healthy and unhealthy is. http://www.obesityinamerica.org/combatingObesity/myth-fact.cfm
09:49 PM on 11/14/2012
Chrystal,
Firstly, America hasn't spoon fed me anything. I'm from Australia, the second fattest country in the developed world behind the US. Secondly, her 'health' as you (and her) described it, largely relates to body image issue, which has arguably been developed from media and advertising. I'm not arguing the what is on media and advertising is an indication of health, nor am I arguing that someone who starves themselves or is skinny with a diet of fast food is an image of health either.
Thirdly, Stella is unhealthy, but is at an unfortunate disadvantage because her polycistic ovarian syndrome. That's something she can't help, where as many other people without this syndrome can in fact engage in a healthy lifestyle, but choose not to and then re-enforce their decision making comments like "she is not overweight", completely oblivious she suffers from an endocrine disorder.

What I am saying is I agree with the above blog. If one is happy with their body image, then that is fine. Seriously, good for them. Good on her for keeping her chin up. In saying that, stop glorifying obesity and an unhealthy lifestyle by calling something like 'real'. Health (a healthy lifestyle) is not entirely image (as you think I'm indicating), it's action. Action in the form of physical activity and a healthy diet.

It's insensitive, but blunt and true.
11:04 PM on 11/14/2012
My point was I agreed with the above blog, and that is we need to stop glorifying a lifestyle disease by calling it things like 'real'. I don't ever see anyone glorifying equally unhealthy bulimia. Being happy with ones' self is great. To the people saying 'good work Stella for being happy with yourself," I agree. However, do not detract from the facts, of what is unhealthy. Health (within your control) is largely action, action in the form of a healthy diet and regular exercise (and not image, if I haven’t made this clear enough).

Yes this is insensitive, but blunt, true and if you are going to shout ignorance, necessary.
04:53 AM on 10/27/2012
A friend of Stella's has been harassing me on my youtube video I did on this photo. My opinion was that she is a beautiful young lady and thought part of posting this photo was to give her more affirmation. If you are really happy with your body, you don't need anyone to tell you. My point was that when you are so young like Stella, there are healthy ways to deal with a weight issue and after 47 years of working out day after day, it is hard work, plain and simple. It just depends on how much you want to change. The bottom line is: when you look in the mirror are you happy with the person you see, inside and out. There is no right weight unless it endangers your health and it is sad that she needed to hurt herself to deal with body issue and hope that she is in a good place. Any form of bullying is unacceptable.

Unfortunately, she has a friend that is doing just that.There is no problem with having a different view on something but to attack someone is a problem. You can have an intelligent conversation but this girl has anger issues and obviously can't do that. I asked her to stop writing and she continued so if Stella sees this, I hope she will talk to her.
04:12 PM on 10/26/2012
Congrats on a beautiful post. You are a beautiful young woman who obviously has a lot going for you (I mean c'mon...NYU, that's nothing to snub your nose at people!). I suffered with bulima through most of my middle/high school years, it's terrible [if they'd like to discuss it, I'm 100% open to it - I too am a NYer]. I am interested in seeing your friends documentary and wish all of you well.
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02:14 PM on 10/25/2012
Stella :This picture is for the strange man at my nanny's church who told me my belly was too big when I was five. Stella guess what you have alot more of those strange men right here.. I bet you love the attention LOL
02:40 AM on 10/25/2012
Stella,
You are NOT anything close to obese imho, just a little "over-healthy" lol. That's what my mom said to me when I was in 4th grade and she said "you're HEALTHY, just a little OVERhealthy". Didn't hurt my feelings a bit, I thought it was funny and have never forgotten it.

It wasn't until after 4 kids (maybe it was 3) that I got to be about your size, and now I'm sure I'm bigger, but shorter. Just can't seem to dump the weight. BUT - just had my blood tested by a naturopath who said my blood looked to be among the top 5 they'd seen all year. So, just keep working on the healthy part, and do consider looking on the internet for the value of basic supplements to balance hormones - I too have a BIG problem there. After all these years I found that a good quality Cal-Mag, Zinc w/ copper, and Vit B help tremendously - took a few months tho so be patient. Anyways, kuddos to you young lady,
09:52 AM on 10/24/2012
Middle school is definitely where body image issues seem to begin for a lot of women. You are correct in that if you weigh more than others feel you are supposed to weigh, there is a lot of scrutiny and negativity. However, being on the other side of the coin is not any easier. I happen to be underweight for most of my teen years. I didn't have an eating disorder. Nothing was medically wrong with me. That's just where my body balanced out. People criticize and make fun of you for that, too. I guess the lesson learned for many later in life is if you're not "average", be proud of it. The average person never became famous. The average person never became rich. The average person never moved mountains or changed the world. Who wants to be "average"? Not me.
05:55 PM on 10/22/2012
Stella -- you rock -- Phillis Benson
03:01 AM on 10/22/2012
sorry that skinny woman exist and arent curvy...and we dont please your eyes...i'll gain 50 pounds so i can fit your ideals.
11:53 AM on 10/22/2012
sorry that curvy women exist and we don't please most people's eyes? we will lost 100 pounds so we can fit your ideals?

Please.
03:43 PM on 10/22/2012
how about... stop worrying about some made up ideal and be happy with who you are either way. Just because the media says this or that doesn't make a standard you have to live by. I find confidence in yourself the most appealing attribute. (I'm a 42 year old skinny, happily married guy, if you must know). Love yourself... anyone who doesn't see the beauty in that isn't worth your time.
09:28 AM on 10/24/2012
Yes you will be bullied if your too skinny or too big, if you dont look the way the media and society makes us think we are suposed to look but that does not mean her blog is all about the bigger people, it is also about the people who are too skinny. get over yourself.
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goku7675
Writer, News-Junkie,Values an informed intellect
02:20 AM on 10/22/2012
What a wonderful girl you are. Thank you for your strength in defeating bullies. Women must stand WITH each other and support, encourage and inspire. The culture today is constantly portraying women as combative and jealous within our groups and I am sick and tired of those images. We need to celebrate our uniqueness! If you read this and you are female, call a girlfriend and tell her how much you admire her!
05:15 AM on 10/21/2012
You are a Pretty and /Strong brave girl--- and the way that you posted the pic and your story (good for you)..You should be proud! I think BULLIES are thinking twice now about what they said about you.
I don't know if you watched the X factor with the one girl that was bullied and sang a song that she wrote from the heartbreak from what she went through. Same thing..
Jillian maybe? Sorry if I'm wrong..Loved that song....
09:42 PM on 10/20/2012
You are beautiful!
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MIMom
Your ad here.
08:24 PM on 10/20/2012
Congratulations on coming to terms with yourself. I, too, have PCOS and envy you. I'm not nearly as cute as you are.

Between your post and the "Mom Stays in the Picture" post, I know I'm not alone in some of the issues I face. I wish you luck with your film and hope you can bring awareness to this frustrating condition.
07:53 PM on 10/20/2012
I find I am drawn to really curvy women to look at in pictures, especially if you can tell that they like their body. Joan on Mad Men gets better and better.
06:52 PM on 10/20/2012
I think you just need a man like, hmmmmm, let me see...................ME?