Tommy Jordan, the mad dad who shot his daughter's laptop, is right up there with Charlie who bit his brother's finger. They're both YouTube sensations and they both share an infantile sense of pleasure in biting back. Only thing is, Tommy's the adult here or, at least, should be.
I have to admit to having had a mild sense of pleasure watching the video the first time around. After all, I am the father of a teenage daughter and feel Tommy's pain. Who hasn't felt the urge to blast the damn computer to kingdom come when coming across an inane or offensive post from one's offspring? What a grand gesture it would be to flush a phone down the toilet or set fire to an iPod Touch for being the device that sucked one's child down a time-wasting (adolescence-wasting?) black hole. Oh, the joy of ripping the router out of the wall and hurling it out the window into oncoming traffic!
But here's the thing: Mr. Jordan actually acted on his impulse and turned a teachable moment -- one that should have been behind closed doors and face-to-face with his daughter -- into a premeditated exhibition of force, petulance and destruction of property.
What exactly did he teach Hannah? That he can "kill" her computer in cold blood, record his actions and then post them on her wall (not his) and therefore get some kind of parental revenge.
He taught her that instead of controlling his destructive urges, that it is perfectly OK to take out your feelings on someone else's possession using lethal force. He gave her a perfectly clear example of how to retaliate and to settle a score -- just like in the movies.
And now we're seeing parents praising brave Jordan for taking it to the teens. No doubt we'll see copycat videos popping up on YouTube with dads (and moms) trying to outdo the dude with the ten gallon hat and the defiant cigarette in his hand. Perhaps there's a reality TV show offer in the cards.
But let's consider another way. For other would-be Jordans out there, start by sitting down and talking with your kids. It is the simplest, yet sometimes most difficult thing a parent can do. Keep the connection with your teen, no matter how hard or how egregious the provocation. Talk things over calmly and put out the facts without resorting to anger or judgment. Hear her side of the story. Then move on to a sanction or consequence that is reasonable and related to the issue at hand. Ask if she has any questions. If she offends again, repeat until she leaves home.
Kids need boundaries and kids need to see their parents acting reasonably and responsibly when under pressure. How else are they going to learn this vital life lesson? Staying calm and dispassionate is a tough thing to do, but as Dr. Mike Bradley, author of Yes Your Teen is Crazy!, would say, if you lose it, they won't get it.
So keep your guns locked up. Better still, hand them in. I've yet to read a parenting book that recommends unloading your .45 to resolve an issue with your recalcitrant teen. And while you're at it, quit smoking. Your kids will appreciate you being around to enjoy the grandchildren.
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Lisa Belkin: Father Shoots Daughter's Laptop: Now What?
I am sure he talked to his daughter many times. It seems as if he might have tried alternate solutions as he had grounded her before resorting to this. She betrayed the family by airing family business for all to see. I think that might be what angered him so, I cant say I blame him. Shooting the laptop was just a very loud and clear way of communicating with a teen aged girl. They often have trouble listening, but I will bet my condo that she took notice of that. What self important, disrespectful brat fails to notice 9 bullet holes in her laptop?
This dad is a hero. Yeah he offended progressive parents by assuming that adults can be authorities over children. Yeah he offended progressive America by firing a gun. He runs his household his way, in fact his household is probably alot better than most American households. The parents get to be in charge and broadcasting disrespect toward ones family for all to see is seen as an ultimate gross disrespect. Progressives are welcome to allow their kids to do as they please, they are welcome to put the kids in charge of the household. They are not welcome to chime in on the parenting methods of their betters.
A temper tatrum is ugly no matter who is throwing it...
In not so progressive households parents are authorities. What they say goes, there is no need for a democratic vote or a debate. Children can just assume that mom and dad are right. This girl didnt get it, she had an oppositional condition that made her incapable of hearing her father when he spoke. He cured that condition by shooting her laptop.
What she did was gross disrespect. She not only tried to reverse her role in the household, she broadcasted her disrespect and family business to the whole planet. DISGUSTING!
Your kids can be in charge of your households without offending us, our guns will only be a problem for you when we catch them in our households in the middle of the night. Beyond their behaviors outside of your homes we leave you to raise them (or fail to raise them) however you wish. The same is expected of you, keep your eyes on your own household.
It was not my kid posting that garbage on facebook.!!!!! And I dont even own a gun!!!
Are you his parent now?
I do believe the man is over the age of 18 and well within his legal right to discipline his child in the manner chosen, own a gun, and smoke if he wants.
Progressives like you often wonder why others seem to hate you so much. You all assume that we all must have just seen something untrue about you on FOX news. It never dawns on you that your own statements and assumption of authority to micro manage the lives of others might be why.
Imagine a neighbor who spends all 24 hours of every day peeping in on your household. Imagine the same obnoxious busy body telling you what you can and cant buy and what you do or do not need. The busy body devotes it obnoxious life to weighing in on every private aspect of the lives of others. If you could step outside of yourselves and see the world through the eyes of those you micro manage you would understand why so many people hate progressives.
There's was no rage or revenge involved. He was disappointed and wanted the event to have an impact on his daughter. Have you even read his website, plainly showing his daughter's reactions, etc? Who are you to tell someone to quit their (legal) smoking habits and hand in their (legally owned) guns?
So, to the author I ask, who died and made you the moral police? Who ever it was must've left a large stick in close perimeter to a certain orifice not equivalent to your self-righteous mouth.
If all parenting books are written by people such as yourself, it's truly no wonder human society has the issues it does.
Here's the audio...
http://thecomedycouple.com/2012/02/16/guy-who-shot-his-daughters-laptop-calls-tech-support/