It's Official: I'm Not Famous
Rodney Dangerfield, I feel your pain. In the new movie State of Play, Ben Affleck plays a politician named Stephen Collins. Now, I know a thing or two about how studio lawyers vet the use of names in movies and TV shows. If there's even a slight chance that a real-life person with the same name exists, or if the character's name is the same as a well-known person, the filmmakers are urged -- often forced -- to change the character's name.
So I'm imagining the meeting with the legal staff and the creative team at Universal, the studio releasing State of Play:
Lawyer 1: Ben Affleck's character is named "Stephen Collins." Anybody have a problem with that?Lawyer 2: Never heard of anyone with that name. Let's move on.
Director: Okay, Russell Crowe's character is...
Lawyer 3: Wait a minute..."Stephen Collins." That rings a bell...
Production Assistant/Lackey: Yeah. Didn't Stephen Collins play the dad on 7th Heaven?
Ben Affleck: Oh, come on. What's 7th Heaven?
Lawyer 1: Mr. Affleck, we need to be very thorough, very careful here. Can someone please look up "Stephen Collins" on IMDb?
Production Assistant/Lackey: I don't have to. I grew up watching 7th Heaven. It was the longest-running family drama in TV history. Stephen Collins played the father. He was the star of the show.
Lawyer 2: Yeah, but wasn't it cancelled a million years ago?
Director: Can we please move on -- ?
Production Assistant/Lackey: 7th Heaven went off the air less than two years ago. It still airs twice a day on the Hallmark Channel. And I have his page up here on imdb...Stephen Collins has starred in, let's see, five series, nineteen TV movies, eight miniseries, and a bunch of plays in New York. He starred in Spamalot last summer on Broadway.
Lawyer 1: Never heard of him.
Lawyer 2: Let's move on. Ben?
Affleck: I like my character's name. I don't want to change it.
Director: I want to keep Ben happy, guys. I don't think it's a problem. I never heard of the guy. Let's move on.
By the way, the last movie I had a starring role in, Because I Said So, was released two years ago by Universal and, while trashed by the critics, was one of the highest-grossing movies with a female star (Diane Keaton) that year. Almost all of Universal's promos for the movie featured my scenes with Diane.
What if Affleck's character's name had been, say, Harrison Ford? Of course they would have changed it -- hell, the writer would never have even considered it. Harrison Ford is a household name. Mine isn't. Okay, I accept that. How about...Richard Lewis? Nahh, they'd change it. Edward Herrmann, Noah Wyle, David Strathairn...they'd change it.
But Stephen Collins passes muster. No one on State of Play was concerned about having a major character in their movie with my name.
When TV Guide did an article a few years ago on the all-time top TV fathers, I came in at #11. At first, I was kind of insulted not to make the top 10. Then I found out who the top 10 were: Robert Young, Danny Thomas, Ozzie Nelson, Dick Van Dyke, Bill Cosby...every single one was an icon. I didn't make the Top 10, but I felt just fine being in their company.
And more good news: on IMDb, they have this weird thing called STARmeter, where each actor's popularity goes up or down each week by a percentage. I have no idea how this works, but I'm happy to tell you that I'm up 13% this week. I'm guessing it's because someone is confused and thinks I'm in State of Play.
It's a tough business. Color me... humbled.
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I'm upset that you would take this so lightly, Mr. Collins. I hear you're a wonderful, peaceful and generous guy, but this should ignite a little fuse, don't you think? The headline itself brought tears to my eyes for you. How dare they not recognize your name, moreover, how dare they not check it out. I'm going to write them and create as much havoc as I possibly can. Maybe I'll send them a list of your credits. You shouldn't be humbled because no matter what, you still have millions of fans who love you and recognize you for your talent and intelligence. I know I do. I'm sure they've heard now that there is an existing famous Stephen Collins. Do you think they will they seek you out for fear of a possible proposed lawsuit?
I recently saw the movie State of Play and wondered about the name used by Affleck. I've been a long standing fan of not only 7th Heaven, but also a number of your movies as well as appearances on numerous tv shows, including as far back as Charlie's Angels. Also a fan of your music and have been getting some of your work from ITunes. As an aside, I grew up a fan of Rick Nelson, so really enjoyed your work on the Nelson Albums as well as the 7th Heaven episodes where you sang his songs.
I saw Rick at an Orlando street party just days before the tragic accident and recall in one 7th Heaven episode an attemp to put a sad rumor to rest, or at least that's the way the story line appeared to read.
Needless to say you are a household name here and in a number of family and friends.
Wish you continued success and look forward to more of your writings, recordings and stage and screen work.
With fond wishes,
AJ Dell
I just found this blog. I don't know how it escaped me, I cyber-stalk you almost everyday. I very much enjoy your blogs. You have a unique, humorous and intelligent way of looking at issues. As with many of the posters, I am a huge fan of all your work. I can't wait to see where your many talents will lead us next.
Happy Anniversary to you and Faye.
The movie is based on a BBC series but the writers should have known better. Mr. Collins was one of the highlights of Because I Said So and he will always have a special place of honor for Trek fans. There is nothing wrong with Mr. Collins that a good screenplay cannot mend...It would be nice if they could crank out a few films with leading characters that aren't based on marketing studies.
Stephen, I'm a big fan- but sorry to say, State of Play's based off a BBC mini where there's a character named.... Stephen Collins. So it looks like your issue would have to be with the Beeb rather than the Affleck.
While my name isn't horribly common, I knew that had I followed my dream of singing... I would have had to change my name. Not enough room in pop for two Whitney's.
I was glad to learn of the BBC version, which explains a lot. Still, I would have thought someone, anyone involved with the American version might have felt the name thing could be a distraction to American audiences. When we did 7th Heaven, we were constantly getting last-minute re-writes because of names of characters being changed. They would change a character's name out of the slightest concern that it might be confused with a real person, or that the name might even remind the audience of a real person. I think its funny, and, as I said, humbling, that this apparently didn't concern the "State of Play" people.
To me, you'll always be the Commander of the Refitted Enterprise before that darned Kirk stuck his nose where it didn't belong, piloting a ship he didn't know anymore - live long and prosper ;) -
pax
RB
If it makes you feel any better, both the Boston Globe and the Cape Cod Times mention you in their reviews of "State of Play". At least you're famous in Massachusetts.
P.S. I have an idea. Why don't you threaten to sue Universal for unauthorized use of your name and then offer to settle by making them release "Tales of the Gold Monkey" on DVD--PRONTO!
Now THAT'S a great idea.
I second the motion. We have a motion on the floor.
Were you the guy from Tales of the Gold Monkey? It's like w/ Robert Urich or Peter Strauss--you're a reliable, solid TV face. Being famous-well whatever. Being Consistently employed in your field like this--that's good.
You're right. I'll take it.
I earlier mentioned the fine work you, Ann-Margret (love that woman!) and Claudette Colbert did in the "Two Mrs. Grenvilles." That prompted me to try to find a DVD of the film. It seems to be unavailable except for one Aussie outlet offering it for $85!
Stephen, and anyone reading this out there, are any of you aware of somewhere in the states I could get a copy of the film? Even in NYC's most arcane video shops, the film can't be found.
Help, please.
I think if you go to amazon.com they have it...
Thanks, but the only Amazon entry is the link to the Aussie outlet where the DVD is priced at $85 and only playable in the UK and Australia.
Could you send me a copy of yours? You could send it C.O.D. :-)
Was Homer Simpson in the top ten?
Homer didn't crack the list. Go figure.
I grew up in Hastings-on-Hudson and am a fellow alum of HHS.
You remain, as always, one of it's favorite sons!
Nothing (well, almost nothing) but happy memories of HHS. Thanks.
Or you could look at it this way: you have a name that naturally seems to fit a Congressman, at least in the minds of the gifted Hollywood literati.
Maybe you should run for office. It worked for our fellow Iowan Fred Grandy. :)
I'd like to be appointed to office and skip the whole election part.
I have been a fan ever since Tales of the Gold Monkey, and so I have to just assume that the producers felt Stephen Collins is just such a "normal" sounding name, but you know the business better than I. It certainly would have popped up on my radar, and I, sorry to say, have never seen a single episode of 7th Heaven.
You're probably right. (And you can still catch 7th Heaven if you have The Hallmark Channel.)
Thanks for the tip. I only get basic cable right now, but if it helps, my younger brother is a big fan of the show! Come to think of it, I have a lot of friends who are fans.
haven't looked through all the posts...but who could forget your incredible portrayal of Dan Broderick!!!! i assume you and Meredith Baxter Birney got along in real life :-)
I love Meredith; worked with her three times (so far): she played my wife in All The President's Men, then The Betty Broderick Story, and then she did a couple of episodes of 7th Heaven.
Awwww.
I'm reminded of the scene in Soapdish where Sally Field's soap star goes to the mall to be recognized and feel better about herself.
I could be your Whoopi Goldberg and tip off shoppers of your presence.
I'll meet you at the Sherman Oaks Fashion Square.
Call me.
It's a date.
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