Mr. President, You Must Not Close Gitmo
...because I can't imagine a moment in our history when we've needed it more. I mean Bush and company had some pretty fancy arguments for their use of it, but let's look at some hard realities.
After 9/11 the guys who ended up there haven't done any actual damage to our country (after all, none were convicted of involvement in 9/11 or much else). I assume there were some who wanted to do damage and I suppose under somebody's Constitution you can toss people in jail forever for that. And certainly some of the youngsters who ended up there might have grown up and become extremely dangerous, so point taken -- but now we're in a situation where profound damage actually has been done, maybe fatal damage -- to the Republic, its citizens, possibly to the very soul of the country.
(Now, I want to make clear that I am in no way advocating that we throw into Gitmo all those upstanding gentleman -- and the few token ladies -- who lied to, stole from, and manipulated Wall Street, the banking industry, the corporations, and the governmental oversight agencies that were supposed to protect us against what they did.)
I am completely against this.
These stalwart men and women were only doing what our revered universities and enviable high-powered culture have been advocating for years -- the survival, enrichment and blossoming of those who can achieve it, those who have stood with both feet on that centuries' old tapestry of "survival of the fittest" meets Calvinism, meets any reality show (all of them) with a tough, wily and not altogether honest (ha-ha) winner at the end.
I'd say it's pretty much in our DNA by now, wouldn't you? I mean, didn't most of us play cowboys and Indians when we were kids? What was that about, other than a celebration of the most successful land grab in the history of the planet. And while we're on the subject of Indians, I think it's worth pointing out that Wall Street was purchased (fairly, after all -- both parties agreed) for a handful of beads.
So please don't blame these well-educated, generally well-read and always hard charging folks for stealing, lying and spinning their way into McMansions, BMWs and big pensions funds (well, formerly big pension funds). It's the American way and it's generally worked like gang-busters.
And, lest we forget, no more than six months ago it was all the rage to be one of those hard charging guys or gals. Only now, for instance, these poor AIG guys have been subjected to the rage. But do any of us really have the right to throw the first stone? I mean, how do you think it feels to get gabs of hate mail, even death threats? What's next? A guillotine? And why? Because they're unable to turn off the spigot of their finely-honed business acumen? How many of the rest of us have done any better shifting those life gears in these trying times, in any times? Let's be honest.
Which is my point. Look at history. Have any of the movers and shakers from Rome to the British Empire been able to change their ways? And what has history taught us about what a populace does when it finally sorts out exactly how dreadfully it's been fleeced and manipulated?
Which is where Gitmo comes in, Mr. President.
Because there are people waiting in the wings who just can't wait to stir that populace into a raging mob. And when that happens, heads will roll -- literally -- which will so totally screw up the possibility of this country ever pulling itself back from the brink that it isn't funny.
So I plead with you President Obama, sir, send them all down to Gitmo for their own good. They'll get great tans. I'd suggest giving them great food too, maybe build a Four Seasons Hotel or two, except that the growing millions of out-of-work and homeless might look a bit askance at that. They might start sharpening that blade for you. So probably the better part of valor would be to reuse the cages already in place.
Sadly there appear to be far more of these highly motivated ladies and gentlemen who have bilked our country than the scum we rounded up before and sent to Gitmo, so that while those bad guys were maybe two to a cage, it would probably be necessary to up the number of the new visitors to between ten and fifteen.
I am not in favor of this. At all.
I believe people should be treated humanely. I believe we must never forget this or we are doomed as a culture, as a nation, as a Republic. I just don't think we have the money at the moment but there are a lot of things we're probably not going to have the money for when the dust settles: education, health care, alternative energy, research for almost anything new, you name it, the money won't be there.
And I suspect it won't be there for a long time.
But when it does start to come back, when the nation does begin to rise back onto its formidable feet, then let me be the first to demand that you build them more cages, sir, that you give them more room and better food, let them walk around and enjoy Cuba with its calming white beaches and then...
After the national rage subsides, after (hopefully) no irrational uprising has been set loose on the land, then I say -- forgive, forget and be understanding. Let them go free, because, though I wouldn't dare speak for the rest of you out there -- at least in my case -- I'd have to admit that, if I could have figured out how to do what they did, I might well have done it too.
Lucky for me, I couldn't.
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Excellent Piece. Hope you sent it off to change.gov
Great couple of Free thinking Citizen kids
How I wish there were more like you and family in the USSA
United Sleepwalking States of America
just kill them all and let God sort it out.
As I said, Brilliant.
But it definitely should have been trimmed down at least half a dozen paras. You lost too much momentum. It needs to be much tighter. (See how I said the same thing three times there? That's the kind of thing that needs exaction in a piece like yours.)
"But when it does start to come back, when the nation does begin to rise back onto its formidable feet, then let me be the first to demand that you build them more cages, sir..."
If I still used sig lines, that would definitely be one.
Even Rush wouldn't have said that.
I'm NOT angry at those getting Bonuses... My anger is directed at Congess and the Billions of Lobbying $$$$$ Dollars they took to change the Rules so Greed could go into action...
Those of Congress who point their fingers at the Bonuses, in pretended shock and outrage, of that which CON-GRESS CREATED....
Those who stir the mob action also supported those who changed the Rules in the First place... I will not be diverted or thrown off track by the effects, or by the mob stirrers...
Lord knows, there's no reason to blame the people responsible for destroying our economy, when you can blame the people who failed to stop them. AFAIK, Congress didn't write any bonus contracts; you've got the cart before the horse. Your own pretend shock and outrage is really just plain backwoods "blame the gummint" bull hockey.
tmaxPA:
Congress changed the Rules that were in Place to prevent ALL this from happening... Bonuses were paid to people hired to go with the changes and rip the Taxpayers off...
I don't "pretend to be angry" with those who did the work... Do you think those Billions paid to Congress in Corporate Lobbying had no effect??? Get Real! Corporations did not and could not change the Rules that prevented this rip off... I put the lack of response-ability right where that is: Started with Ronald Reagan and grew terribly under G W Bush... But had co-operation of both Republican's and Democrat's...
Pretty weak humor, and you don't seem to be driving at any sort of a point either.
I think the point was so he could deliver the line: "But when it does start to come back, when the nation does begin to rise back onto its formidable feet, then let me be the first to demand that you build them more cages, sir..."
Brilliant.
Swing and a miss.
oh these poor poor people
barry should have these victims released immediately.
we should not split up the families, we should allow their extended families to come to the US
we should provide job training...repentance for our actions.
we should pay for GED classes...repentance for our actions.
we should give them instate tuition discounts at our colleges...repentance for our actions.
we should ensure they get free housing...repentance for our actions.
The many innocent ones surely deserver something
better than hanging them or sending them to China for justice and since it would be costly to revoke their citizenship and deport them or allow them to escape to their hidden island of secret funds and live a nice life, I'm up for it
Would cretainly put a big dent in the economic terrorism they have wroth upon this land
Absolutely scary that many posters have not recognised this as humour ... these people vote?
Anyhoo ... in a practical sense, I think the high end "compliant prisoner" accomodations may be filled up with these economic miscreants (for their own safety of course). That is a damn shame as it will only leave the "bad prisoner" accomodations - complete with torturous extremes of heat, cold, noise, light and so forth - for the political miscreants from the previous administration who will no doubt require safe-keeping as well ...
... damn shame!
We don't have time to read it all. We read the title and first couple lines and skim. It is best to keep things short, for example you could leave out the middle paragraph.
Touche Jim ... well and succinctly put.
I just think false imprisonment and torture deserves more than a line or two of outrage ... hey, that's just me.
Achingly unfunny.
So Mr. GyllenhaalHangingInThere, you think it's ok that we keep a piece of Cuba? How would we feel if Cuba had an interrogation site in Southern Florida? It's wrong, and we know it...
So, you're suggesting "protective" internment in a concentration camp? Closing Guantanamo would be a priceless public relations victory. If any of scam artists want to confess to their crimes and turn themselves in, room can be found for them in existing prisons.
Since we are using the same logic that the U.S. used to incarcerate U.S. citizens of Japanese ancestry, I would suggest Manzinar. I believe it is a state park or something. It has more room than Gitmo and we wouldn't upset the neighboring Cubans.
I don't think that Mr. Gyllenhaal understands that campaign promises are supposed to be kept!
Or you missed the notes of satire.
Satire? You mean George W. Satire?
Satire is not always funny; but it shouldn't need a (laughter) sign, as in the typical TV studio audience. Stick with your day job, Mr. Gyllenhaal.
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