There's something many people don't talk about when it comes to transformational experiences... the hard, confusing and frustrating side of change.
So I want to tell you a story...
In 2010, I went to my very first live event for women entrepreneurs in New York. I was struggling in my business, relationships and life in general. Traveling all the way to NYC by myself with no money and not knowing a single person attending the event was transformational in and of itself. But the event? Boy did that weekend change me.
So many powerful speakers with soul shaking messages I desperately needed to hear. A notebook filled with ideas, resources and inspiration. Dance parties before and after every break. New entrepreneurial and passionate friends. Green juice and raw food. I learned and grew so much and in so many new and unexpected ways.
And then I had to go home.
While I was away, despite the fact that it was really only three days, I changed. I was cracked open by the experience and I saw what was possible for myself and my life. I met new and awesome people.
One of the hardest parts about transformational experiences is realizing that YOU are the only thing that's changed. How you show up and relate to other people and things in your life is now different... but the rest remains the same.
After my weekend in NYC, I cried on and off for about a week straight. I couldn't seem to "settle back into" my life because I was no longer the same person. Everything was carrying on and yet I was re-evaluating what worked and didn't... while still having to show up and go through the motions. After all, I was in a relationship, I had a business and I had obligations that existed before my weekend away.
Unfortunately for me at the time, I wasn't equipped to make the changes I was so inspired to make while in New York. I didn't have an ecology that supported such changes. The guy I was with was still the same and uninterested in change... the work and clients were still the same... and my friends? Well, they were good for getting out every now and then but there wasn't any way they'd understand what I had just been through.
So I slowly began to settle back into my life... and nothing changed or progressed as it should have. I reverted to who I was before.
Since New York, I've had many transformational moments, experiences and coaching sessions. After each one, the feeling is the same. It's a bit unsettling, I won't lie... but it's also an amazing experience. Suddenly, almost miraculously, I've shifted. Something that's been holding me back has been released, I'm more empowered, passionate and inspired... how I show up and relate to people and things in my life is different.
The big difference is that now I work quickly to create a new ecology in my life that supports the changes I need and want to make. That nurture and support the new (or I should say, more uncovered and authentic) me that has emerged from my recent experience.
How do I do this?
I stop taking on certain projects and clients. I sign up for a program or hire a coach. I look for opportunities to connect with the right people. I read books, write in my journal and explore what I'm feeling. I make changes and I start speaking my truth to those around me. Most important, I surround myself with people that see, love, support and nurture me through my constant evolution. Amazing entrepreneurial friends, family members that get me and mentors that push me harder and harder.
People and things that don't serve me are let go. I move forward.
And that's key my friends: constant evolution.
We're never done. There will never be a point at which I stop and say, "Okay, I'm good. No more changes or transformations for me." Ha! There is always a new experience to be had, something to learn, someone to push you and ways to grow.
My goal is to be alive. To wake up, shake any limiting beliefs I have, dream big, experience everything I can, love deeply, connect, create and be of service. If I don't put myself in the position to be changed and to grow, I'd get stagnant and die on the inside. Dramatic, but true.
So if you're feeling like your stuck or dead inside, I'd bet a lot of money that you haven't put yourself in the position to grow and change. Or you have, but you haven't taken action or created an ecology that supports this new you.
It's hard, but it's so worth it.
Begin to speak your truth to others. Follow your whims and passions. Change your friends and stop hanging with family if you need to. Take a class or hire a coach. Invest in yourself. Push yourself. Grow, grow, grow.
So tell me...
1. What transformational experiences have you had lately? How are you feeling?
2. Where can you begin to create an ecology that supports, encourages and nurtures the new person that you've become? How can you start taking new actions?
Stephenie Zamora is the founder of www.stepheniezamora.com;, a full-service, life-purpose development, design and branding boutique. Here she merges the worlds of personal development and branding to help young women build passion-based businesses. Click here to download her free guide, "The Unexpected Trick to Transforming Your Life With ONE Single Question."
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