Limbo. It's that awkward place between where you are now and where you'll be "soon."
Maybe you're planning to move across the country in the near future. Or your lease is ending in a few months and you're not sure if you'll be able to stay. Perhaps you have to travel for work off and on for the next six months.
So you think to yourself... What's the point in trying to meet someone new and amazing, I'll just be moving soon. Why bother getting that little arts and crafts corner set up in my current place, I may have to box it all up. Why bother taking that class, joining that group or making new friends, I'll just be on the go and away from it all.
The point is that life is precious and way too short to waste in limbo.
Limbo is also the birthplace of unfulfillment, depression, frustration, isolation and general "meh"-ness. When you allow yourself to enter the mental space of limbo, you effectively put living, loving, dreaming, scheming playing, connecting and whatever other wonderful ing-thing you want and desire on hold.
You put life on hold.
And when life is on hold, it slips by fast -- opportunities go unclaimed, amazing love remains undiscovered, friends, laughter, adventures and happiness fade away before you even experience them. All because you're waiting for something that's going to happen "soon."
Your "soon" may be two weeks, two years or two months. Doesn't matter. What matters is that you deserve an amazing, joy-filled life with phenomenal people in it.
So how do you stop living in limbo?
Start living in the moment.
One of the most transformational lessons I've learned in my life thus far is how to live in this exact moment, rather than getting lost in the mess of thoughts, negative chatter, worry, fear or drama in my head.
Think about it for a moment. (Yes, I'm giving you temporary permission to go in your head.) Instead of putting yourself out there, falling in love, making amazing friends, having fun and exciting life experiences, you're probably sitting at home or work thinking about how you'd love to be doing those things, but can't, since you have this change happening "soon."
Here's the truth, you can have those things. So what if you're only here for two more months? Get yourself out there and do all the things you want to do! Date (maybe even fall in love), meet new people (find the bestie you've always dreamed of), take that art class (so you'll miss the final show... at least you'll have made some art)!
Start showing up to every moment of every single day fully present and engaged in what you're doing or who you're with. Stop thinking about how things "have to be" because of something happening later. Be here now for this moment and have the most amazing experience you can.
Stop being afraid of what you can't control or foresee.
Unless you're some kind of amazing psychic, you don't know what's going to happen with anything, so stop assuming that you do.
"They won't want to hang out with someone who's moving soon."
"No one would ever want to date me seriously the way I have to travel."
"I'm not going to be able to stay here, anyway."
You don't know that. It's not possible for you to know that, especially when other people are involved. So stop assuming! Your "soon" is in the future, not right now. For all you know, you could meet a kindred spirit that you connect so deeply with you remain best friends via text, email and Skype for the rest of your lives. You could meet the man of your dreams who, by the time "soon" arrives, is willing to make things work. Or, your landlord will let you stay in your place and you just wasted a couple months not doing crafts because you assumed you'd have to move.
Stop being afraid or "realistic" about things... just live your life.
Remember that you can't control everything.
I strongly believe that if something's meant to happen, it will happen, whether you're ready for it or not. So if you're supposed to connect with someone specific, come across a certain opportunity or be guided in a certain direction, it's going to happen. Trust that everything happens for a reason and start moving with the flow of life.
Don't try so hard to maintain "control" of your life and your plan. When you do, you miss out on amazing things. Unexpected job offers, the person you're supposed to spend your life with, that best friend you've always wanted,
Just because you planned to move, change jobs, get married or whatever else, doesn't mean that's what's supposed to happen for you. If life presents you with an opportunity and your intuition says "hell yes!" you'd better listen up and act accordingly. Trying to control every little thing just causes unnecessary stress, frustration and anxiety. Loosen up your grip, begin listening to and trusting your intuition, and start to enjoy the amazing journey that is life.
Most importantly, stop wasting time in limbo!
Take action now!
If you feel like you're living in limbo, grab a notebook or journal and answer the following questions:
- Why am I so afraid/hesitant to do the things I want to do?
- How would it feel to do them anyway and really start living and enjoying my life in the present moment?
- Where can I relax my need for control and start moving with the flow of life?
Then... close your eyes, take a deep breath and re-engage in your life, in this moment (and every single moment after that) fully and completely.
Stephenie Zamora is the founder of www.stepheniezamora.com, a full-service, life-purpose development, design and branding boutique. Here she merges the worlds of personal development and branding to help young women build passion-based businesses. Click here to download her free guide, "The Unexpected Trick to Transforming Your Life With ONE Single Question."
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