THE BLOG
07/26/2013 12:56 pm ET | Updated Sep 25, 2013

Guess What? You're Not Supposed to Have It All Figured Out by Now!

Do you ever feel like you should be more experienced, further along or more on top of things in your life? That you should have an amazing career, the perfect husband and a clear sense of who you are and where you're supposed to be? Worse, that you should already be there by now?

It's time for a reality check.

You can only be who you are right now, in this moment, exactly where you're at. There's nothing more to know. If you're feeling discontent, stressed out or depressed, it's not because you should be or have something other than what you have right now. It's because you're beating yourself up about what you're lacking, rather than focusing on creating joy, fulfillment, passion and purpose in your life.

The truth about having it all figured out:

Where you thought you were "supposed to be by now" is irrelevant.

It was crafted by a younger, less experienced and not-here-right-now version of yourself. The only thing you're supposed to have is this moment with whoever is here, wherever you are, as the person you are today. How could you possibly have known what you "should" know today?

You had no idea what experiences, opportunities and personal transformations you would go through and how they would effect what you want in life. Feeling like you should be somewhere by now, when you're clearly not "there," should only tell you that maybe it's not where you're supposed to be.

When you're on the right path, synchronicity is heightened and things feel easy. If you don't feel that, chances are you've ventured down the wrong path and lost sight of what you really want. Getting off course and feeling like you should be somewhere are clear signs that you've been working towards a life that is heavily influence by what others or society expect of you.

There will never be a point where you'll have it all figured out. Ever.

Your life, personality, spirituality, knowledge and relationships are always changing. You're going to learn new things, discover new passions, meet new people and travel to new places... again and again, for the rest of your life. It's impossible to ever have everything figured out and there's certainly no date by which you should. Stop putting pressure on yourself to get somewhere you can never reach.

Life is a learning process! Relationships, jobs, struggles, successes and everything in between are opportunities for spiritual growth. They give you a new perspective, tools or insights into who you really are and what you deeply desire. Everything and everyone around us is on this same journey, which makes it completely impossible to ever truly "figure it all out."

The only thing that matters is who you are and what you desire right now.

It's about incorporating more of what lights you up and less of what brings you down. What brings you joy? What is your passion? Where do you find fulfillment, belly laughs and inspiration?

Unshakable joy, fulfillment and passion are produced by staying focused on what you really desire in your life right now. It also comes from knowing that "right now" is in constant flux. Regularly checking in with yourself is essential.

Take action now!

I want you to make a list of all the things you feel you should have, know or be by now. Take some time to consider where these beliefs came from. Your parents? Society? Internal expectations that stress you out always have an external source. Try to identify them.

Next, determine what's really important to YOU. Use the following questions:

"Is this item really, truly important to me?"
"Who would I really be doing this for?"
"Does this item make me light up inside at the thought of having it?"
"How does it feel to think about not doing that anymore?"
"In the grand scheme, is this really important or just fluff?"

Share your insights in the comments below!

Click here to access the free Foundations for Unshakable Joy video training series and learn the three essential tools for living a life you love.

Stephenie Zamora is the founder of www.stepheniezamora.com;, a full-service, life-purpose development, design and branding boutique. Here she merges the worlds of personal development and branding to help young women build passion-based businesses. Click here to access her Foundations for Unshakable Joy free video training series now!

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