Jon Gosselin Can Go Back to Work... at Foot Locker

05/25/2011 02:40 pm ET
  • Steve Marmel Marmel is a comedian, a writer and a TV producer. It's not as impressive as it sounds.



In the latest skirmish in his war with TLC, Jon Gosselin has filed a $5 million claim against the network, saying its representatives damaged his reputation and career by preventing him from working with other media outlets. 

In the suit, the reality star dad claims that the network contacted various media outlets he'd been in touch with to persuade them to stop dealing with him. 

"Their behavior has caused Jon great anguish and it has caused him financial losses," says his attorney, Mark Heller, who maintains Gosselin did not have an attorney or a manager present when he signed the contract for Jon and Kate Plus Eight with TLC last year.

Dude, shut up.

Nobody owes you another show, another shot, another anything.

"Damaging your reputation and career?" WHAT career? Before the show, Gosselin was an IT analyst. And even though unemployment is at 10.2%, I'm sure, if you put your limited mind to it, you could hit and drum up a gig at Cisco Systems. Or figuring out why the Wifi doesn't work at Corner Bakery.

TV doesn't owe you a job. TV gave you a job. Then, TV decided it didn't want you anymore.

You can go now. You can disappear into the corn, never to be seen again, like 99% of the people of Survivor or American Idol. We barely remember the winners, why would we waste valuable brain space on the losers? Nobody owes you fame... And nobody is stopping you from doing what you did before you were on TV.

It didn't pay as much, and it didn't get you dates despite your penchant for Ed Hardy douche-wear, but that's not the point. You can find another job, anywhere else you want.

Just not a day care center, or as a relationship counselor, okay? Because I'm sure the performance reviews on both were pretty damn negative.To obscurity with you.