Hey. You. Dude in your 20s, 30s, or 40s. You, who wanted to see Kick-ass but didn't... I saw it, and I feel for you.
Me? I'm "that guy." The one that shows up to the midnight showings, that buys his tickets in advance. The guy that has read comic books forever.
I cheered at "Spider-man" and "Dark Knight." I walked out of "Batman and Robin," flipping my middle finger to the screen in anger. I yelled at a 20 foot George Clooney with nipples on his ridiculous Batsuit and left, because life's too short for that kind of horrible.
And at 10:00 on a Thursday night, I was at the Arclight in Hollywood - part of a gleeful group of die-hards, there to see the premiere of Kick-ass.
In my opinion, it was the best super-hero movie ever made.
Kick-ass, in the end, did and didn't. It kicked-ass as a film, and apparently, did not at the box office.
It kicked-ass for what it was: An honest portrayal of what it would be to be stupid enough to put on a costume and go out and fight crime.
It kicked-ass because of how it did it: A true portrayal of the original material - honest, vulgar, violent, bloody. Pulp fiction funny. Tongue squarely in cheek.
Expected to make 30 million, Kick-ass made twenty (if Deadline Hollywood Daily can be believed, and it usually can be), and it's not that hard to figure out why.
With a hard R - for language and violence and an 11-year-old girl that wielded a guns, swords and the c-word - there was no grey area in this movie.
You couldn't bring your date, unless your date loved the comic like you did. You couldn't bring your kid, unless you were an Octomom-level failure of a parent.
Men - and lets be honest, that's the primary viewing audience for this flick (yes, there were women there as well, but they fall under the die-hard category) - were put in the position to either get a pass, or have to explain to their kids why they were off to see a movie about a costumed crime-fighter, but their kids could not.
"Daddy, can I see Kick-ass?" Who needs that?
And so, having to make that choice, many chose either the abysmal "Date Night" or the very good "How to Train Your Dragon" a second time. For men in relationships, or with kids, the easier path was compromise.
So here's to you, dude in you 20s, 30s or 40s. You probably wanted to see Kick-ass, but you didn't, or couldn't - for some very good and valid reasons.
But you should know, in my opinion, it's the best super-hero movie ever made.
And probably the best you didn't see.