McCain Finally Condemns President Bush's Outlandish Comments

After weeks of badgering from the mainstream media as well as right wing talk radio, Republican nominee, Sen. John McCain (R, AZ), summoned reporters to say he was outraged by the President George W. Bush's "divisive, destructive, and frankly, grammatically incorrect" remarks. Scrambling to contain the flare-up in a controversy that has dogged him since clips of some of Bush's most objectionable remarks began circulating on TV and the Internet, McCain finally repudiated Bush's long history of inane rambling and nearly unintelligible comments have been swirling around YouTube and OMGDidYouHearWhatThePresidentSaidToday.com for years now.

"I've just been buried the past seven years and it wasn't until yesterday that I got a chance to sit down and check out the Internet," said McCain. "Wow."

A statement from the McCain campaign read in part, "I wish to apologize to those elementary school teachers everywhere, and for that matter, anyone who speaks English, who may have been offended by these inappropriate remarks that can only be seen as pretty damn goofy. I believe in the greatness of proper grammar and syntax and if I had been aware of them earlier, I wouldn't have felt comfortable actually believing anything the president said.

"Too little too late," contended Fox News's Sean Hannity, who has been pushing the McCain-Bush relationship story for months. "We're not talking about a simple misuse of effect for affect. You tell me he didn't know about the shower of verbal gaffes and malapropisms that have been raining down on this country for over seven years? Here's a guy who's said, 'We ought to make the pie higher,,' 'I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town....and I'll work hard to try to elevate it,' and 'Is our children learning?' How do you miss all that?"

"And that's probably just the tip of the ice cube," added Hannity.

McCain advisor, Mary Matalin defended the delay. "The Senator had TIVO'd the past few years of John Stewart," said Matalin. "It took a few minutes before John realized it wasn't an old The Daily Show or that Lil Bush cartoon. I mean, c'mon...that's not stuff you'd think someone said seriously. We're not talking 'Read my lips. No new taxes.'"

There has been a general divide among supporters on how to handle the distraction from the real issues. Late night talk show hosts, in particular, urged McCain to rise above campaign attacks, saying he is not responsible for what Bush says no matter how much material it provides them. Republicans who actually want McCain to win say they were deeply troubled and baffled by McCain's association with Bush, even before the President reiterated some of his most inarticulate comments at a recent press dinner.

When asked when he would condemn President Bush's "Bring them on" comment concerning Iraq attacks on American troops...

"I'm not going to go crazy," said McCain. "Afterall, I'm the guy who sang, Bomb, bomb, bomb. Bomb, bomb Iran."

Award-winning TV writer, Steve Young, is author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful" www.greatfailure.com

Comments

[elbzee]

Um, exactly how stupid does he think we are? In 7 years he never listened to his chief in commander speak? Was he ever in an audience at one of the chimps many speeches? Is he deaf? Did he sleep through the past 7 years? Can anyone actually believe that he is capable of leading our country if he pays so little attention to the words world leaders speak?

[apoyo]

Um, I believe this was satire.

[GOP4MoreTears]

I'm thinking the John McCain for President campaign is quite an irony anyway.

[elbzee]

oops, sorry! *red faced*
I get a little freaked out sometimes.