What Part of "Illegal" Don't They Understand?

We're a country of laws, damnit! And if these people flouting our laws aren't going to adhere to them, I say, trow out da bums.

Let's not quibble. It's obvious that we need to get these illegals out of the country. All of them.

From now on, those who have entered the U.S. illegally will be forced to leave the country IF...

Every Radio Talk Show Host, Senator, Congressman, Cabinet member or President...

who has driven over the speed limit,

padded their tax deductions,

lied to their constituents,

drank under the legal age,

passed laws that poison the earth but cover themselves by using some hypocritical phrasing like, I don't know, "Clear Skies Initiative,"

consumed drugs illicitly,

skirted laws to listen into private conversations of legal 'Mericans,

used their position to pad their own pocket book,

redefined the definition of torture so they could...torture,

cheated on their wife/husband,

said they're giving tax breaks to everyone, but give $30. to most of us and $42,000. to millionaires (who really need it),

drove under the influence,

sent kids into harm's way on ambiguous information without adequate body armor...

And just for good measure...

tore the "do not remove under penalty of law" tag off their mattress,

turns themselves in.

Whataya say? Time to vote?

If you have any more legislative components for this law, feel free to write 'em in.

NOTE: No need to add in some clever condemnation of my writing. I already fit at least 75% of the stipulations listed above.

Steve Young is author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful" (www.greatfailure.com)