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Steven Clifford
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Steven Clifford was CEO and President of King Broadcasting Company.

Entries by Steven Clifford

Iraq Again (With the Beach Boys)

(0) Comments | Posted November 23, 2015 | 1:21 PM

"Do It Again"

It's automatic when I
Talk with neo-cons
The conversation turns to
Invasions we used to spawn
When we were greeted as liberators
And tortured Iraqi perpetrators
And the Green Zone
Was the place to go

Mission Accomplished on

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Time to Get a Job

(0) Comments | Posted October 27, 2015 | 7:26 PM

Having been ungainfully unemployed for the past 15 years, I yielded my wife's pleadings to apply for a job. This morning I sent off five job applications:

Hays Woodford, Chairman of the Board, Save the Young Children

I hear that Save the Young Children, America's largest faith-based organization, is seeking...

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Jeb Bush to Rebrand

(1) Comments | Posted October 16, 2015 | 9:11 AM

Trailing badly in the polls, Jeb Bush's campaign has decided to rebrand. Beginning Monday, Bush will have a new tagline: "Jeb?" will replace "Jeb!" "The question mark asks everyone to take new look a Jeb," said Kristy Campbell, Bush's Press Secretary.

The campaign will introduce a new logo, type...

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Outrage Over MacArthur Genius Awards

(0) Comments | Posted October 1, 2015 | 3:51 PM

In a stunning stub, the MacArthur Foundation once again overlooked Steven Clifford in awarding their $675,000 "genius grants."

"This is an insult to all thinking people in America," said Phyllis Fletcher, Professor of Media Studies at the University of Wisconsin. "Clifford is a national hero for revealing that outsize CEO...

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Republican Candidates Agree on Military Spending

(0) Comments | Posted September 22, 2015 | 2:22 PM

Aside from who could bring America closer to war on "day one," Republican candidates in their recent debate initially jockeyed to demonstrate who could spend more on the military:

Fiorina: We need the strongest military on the face of the planet... 50 Army brigades, we need about 36 Marine battalions,...

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Hillary Clinton to Show More Humor and Heart, Aides Say

(0) Comments | Posted September 9, 2015 | 5:21 PM

There will be no more flip jokes about her private email server. There will be no rope lines to wall off crowds, which added to an impression of aloofness. And there will be new efforts to bring spontaneity to a candidacy that sometimes seems wooden and overly cautious.

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Disenfranchise Straight White Males?

(0) Comments | Posted August 3, 2015 | 3:09 PM

Donald Trump's lead in the Republican presidential polls has reignited the debate on the most emotionally charged question in American politics today: Should straight white males, called "Swims," be allowed to vote?

"Over 92 percent of Trump supporters are Swims. This is prima facie evidence that Swims are so irresponsible...

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The Practice of Mindlessness

(0) Comments | Posted July 1, 2015 | 6:18 PM

Mindlessness is no longer a fad. It has become a way of life for millions of Americans. The worlds of business and self-help are enraptured over mindlessness meditation. Organizations as varied as the Air Force, Microsoft, Columbia University and the Gambino Family offer mindlessness training for employees.

The world is...

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Unfair Competition

(1) Comments | Posted February 27, 2015 | 7:43 PM

As a satirist I struggle to compete with reality. Last week, after declaring that, "There were mistakes made in Iraq," and "I am my own man" Jeb Bush announced that Paul Wolfowitz was one of his foreign policy advisers. I immediately ceased drafting a blog about Jeb Bush's cabinet. How...

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Finding Truth in Madison, Wisconsin

(2) Comments | Posted February 18, 2015 | 8:58 AM

Ridiculing Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker for proposing to replace the "search for truth" with "meet the state's workforce needs" in the University of Wisconsin's mission statement was the initial plan for this blog.

I assumed there was copious evidence of Wisconsin students and faculty repeatedly searching for, and successfully finding,...

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A Line in the Sand at 47 Percent

(1) Comments | Posted February 3, 2015 | 2:24 PM

There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe that government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe...
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A List of Lists

(0) Comments | Posted January 28, 2015 | 1:00 AM

My data analytics consultant informs me that I am not trending, especially among millennials. She suggests I publish lists since millennials click on lists. Being data-driven, I am test-blogging potential lists. Through a new app, I will record and analyze your galvanic skin response to each list below:


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Congressional Republicans Overlook Broccoli

(0) Comments | Posted January 13, 2015 | 4:52 PM

Now controlling both houses of Congress, why have Republicans ignored the twin evils of Obamacare: broccoli and death panels? Recall their 2009 alarms that under Obamacare, government could both force you to buy broccoli and kill you. It was unclear which was the more monstrous.

I expected the first bill...

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Congenital Resolve

(0) Comments | Posted January 7, 2015 | 5:52 PM

Operation INHERENT RESOLVE is the name for our military intervention against ISIL. Obama selected this strategy because it was his least worst policy option. In truth, we should call this Operation LEAST WORST POLICY OPTION or Operation NO ONE HAD A BETTER IDEA. However, I understand that military brass do...

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Comforting Thoughts on Turning 72

(2) Comments | Posted December 15, 2014 | 12:50 PM

• After buying a book, I do not feel compelled to finish it. It won't be on the final.

• I could easily pass for 71 or even 70 in dim light.

• As an ex-CEO I wake up every morning knowing that no one will complain to me about...

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My Virtual Social Life: Urbane, Scintilating and Erudite

(0) Comments | Posted December 1, 2014 | 6:13 PM

Cursed with a dismal social life, not uncommon in Seattle, I determined to embark on a virtual social life where I could mingle with the urbane, the scintillating and the erudite.

I decided I would resonate with the Yahoo Answers community. They answer technical problems mixed with cerebral deliberations of...

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The Bright Side

(0) Comments | Posted November 11, 2014 | 1:53 PM

Old men usually cling to two premises: the world is going to hell and music has decayed since they were young.

In my case, the second proposition is self-evident.

At age twelve, I discovered girls to the songs of Buddy Holly, Little Richard, the Everly brothers, Fats Domino, Bill...

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I Link In

(0) Comments | Posted October 21, 2014 | 3:21 PM

"How is the job search going?" my wife asked.

Judith is very supportive. Had their husbands remained unemployed for the last fourteen years, many wives would have become dispirited.

"Great," I answered. "I took your advice and updated my skills on LinkedIn to make them appear more relevant."

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Don't Send in the Marines. Send in the Cops.

(0) Comments | Posted September 22, 2014 | 5:55 PM

Once again, the United States is baffled by asymmetrical warfare in the Middle East.

While our military budget exceeds the rest of the world combined, our asymmetrical strategy to confront ISIS could be mistaken for a Saturday Night Live skit.

To "degrade and destroy" ISIS we will:

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Obama Arms Moderate Syrian Rebel

(1) Comments | Posted September 14, 2014 | 10:47 PM

As part of his plan to degrade and destroy ISIS, President Obama has begun arming a moderate Syrian rebel. Earlier this week the CIA certified that Husni al-Ziad, a middle-aged accountant living in Hama, was a "moderate rebel."

"We will continue to search for others, but right now al-Ziad...

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