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Steven Clifford
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Steven Clifford is the author of the recently published political satire Fools and Knaves. >Learn about this book at foolsandknaves.com. Clifford writes the humor column Flip Side for Seattle-based Crosscut and was CEO and President of King Broadcasting Company.

Entries by Steven Clifford

John Kerry: Stay Home, Eat Well and Get Some Rest

(0) Comments | Posted August 14, 2014 | 1:39 PM

In my youth, when trouble occurred, the Lone Ranger would ride into town and punish the bad guys. Today, when facing calamity, John Kerry rides into town and asks the bad guys to compromise.

When the Lone Ranger rode out of town, the problems were fixed. When Kerry rides...

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Middle East to Rebrand

(0) Comments | Posted August 4, 2014 | 5:53 PM

To: Benjamin Netanyahu, Whoever is in charge of Libya, Abdel el-Sisi, King Abdullah, Whoever is in charge of Iraq, Mahmoud Abbas, Bashar al-Assad, Whoever is in charge of ISIS, Ali Khamenei, Whoever is in charge of Lebanon

From: Steven Clifford, CEO, Strategic Branding Strategies

RE: Rebranding

Israel invades Gaza,...

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Priceless Advice

(0) Comments | Posted July 14, 2014 | 3:29 PM

"Life's not about what happens to you, it's about with what you do with what happens to you." According to the New York Times, Chelsea Clinton often proffers this pearl of wisdom in her high-priced speeches.

Being a president's daughter is what happened to her, but earning $600,000...

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The Good Guys and Bad Guys in Iraq

(1) Comments | Posted June 22, 2014 | 8:40 PM

A historical perspective helps to understand today's crisis in Iraq.

In 2003 Saddam Hussein ruled Iraq. He was a bad guy. A bunch of good guys named Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, and Feith decided to invade Iraq and get rid of this bad guy.

After the invasion they...

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Vienna 1913: Monumental Historical Figures

(0) Comments | Posted June 2, 2014 | 4:58 PM

The modern world and its philosophy, psychology, literature, music, painting and politics were conceived in Vienna in 1913:

Ludwig Wittgenstein, 24, ruminated about the distinction between language and truth, thoughts that will revolutionize western philosophy.

Sigmund Freud, 57, finished his essay "Totem and Taboo," while Alfred Adler, 43, developed...

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Steven Clifford LTU HA

(0) Comments | Posted May 17, 2014 | 5:26 PM

I have always envied people who appended initials to their name. I'm not talking about a striver working for a Human Resources consulting firm or grappling for tenure at a third-rate university who signs her name Virginia Cole Ph.D.

I'm talking about Duddleswell Stilton Wensleydale KG KBE (Knight of the...

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Obama Gets Tough On Sanctions

(0) Comments | Posted May 5, 2014 | 9:31 PM

Responding to continued Russian interference in the Ukraine, President Obama announced a sweeping expansion of sanctions. Adopting a "get tough" stance, the president both added new punitive sanctions and expanded the list of targets to include some of the people closest to Vladimir Putin.

This group includes Boris Shortageski,...

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Testosterone, High and Low

(0) Comments | Posted April 21, 2014 | 11:29 AM

I am often mystified by advertisements. Ads for Abercrombie feature nearly naked post-pubescent looking sultry. As Abercrombie sells clothes, what is the purpose of this ad?

I see ads about "low T."

A rugged male states some facts about himself.

My sons play lacrosse. I know that chivalry is...
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Russia, Please Keep Hacking

(0) Comments | Posted March 4, 2014 | 7:19 AM

Once again I read that Russian hackers have broken into the Pentagon's and State Department's computer systems.

Why would anyone bother to do that?

Imagine the hacker being debriefed by Gen. Alexander Bortnikov, Director of the FSB (successor to the KGB).

Hacker: We have obtained the complete plans for...

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It's Not My Fault

(0) Comments | Posted February 6, 2014 | 9:55 AM

My generation is unjustly criticized. We starve public education while lavishing monies on ourselves. We burden our grandchildren with debt to pay for our Social Security and Medicare. The New York Times labeled us "self-centered, self-seeking, self-interested, self-absorbed, self-indulgent and self-aggrandizing."

This is true. But it's not our fault....

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Republican Rx For Poverty: More CEOs

(0) Comments | Posted January 13, 2014 | 8:13 PM

Last week Republican leaders Marco Rubio, Paul Ryan and Eric Cantor called for their party to address the issues of poverty. Yesterday, the House Republican Caucus responded by endorsing a market-based war on poverty under the rhyming acronym GOP/WOP.

The crux of GOP/WOP is the creation of 10,000 new private...

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Wisdom Painfully Acquired

(0) Comments | Posted January 8, 2014 | 1:36 PM

From working in government and on Wall Street:

• You cannot be too cynical about politicians.

• You cannot be too cynical about Wall Street.

From my brother, Denis:

• Many people appear sane until you consider their love life.

• In the pyramid of life there is plenty of...

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How To Save Money at Starbucks

(0) Comments | Posted January 2, 2014 | 2:52 PM

Yesterday I was behind three people at Starbucks. The first ordered a grande decaf soy Americano with extra foam. It cost $8.75. The next ordered a vente 130-degree decaf triple five-pump vanilla non-fat caramel macchiato. It cost $14.15.

"Tall drip," said the third person.

"With room?" the cashier asked.

"I...

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Beleagured by Lawsuits, Santa to Rebrand, Downsize and Outsource

(0) Comments | Posted December 19, 2013 | 11:51 AM

Yesterday Santa Claus announced that children should not expect a visit from him this Christmas.

"The revenue side our business model was insane," Santa Claus stated. "That is why we are rebranding, changing our logo and repricing our entire line."

"To improve the consumer experience we modernized our distribution...

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Stop the FCC!

(1) Comments | Posted November 22, 2013 | 5:31 PM

F.C.C. to Weigh Allowing
Cellphone Use on Flights

The New York Times, November 22, 2013

Maybe the Tea party is right. Maybe a government shut down is a capital idea. Just when you thought airline travel could not get worse the FCC may allow cell phones.

You arrive 90...

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Layered for the Rapture

(0) Comments | Posted November 18, 2013 | 6:41 PM

The Rapture is imminent according to several websites, including http://raptureimminent.wordpress.com , http://www.christconnection.net, and http://beforeitsnews.com.

Believers are giving away their earthly goods; disbelievers are scoffing. I have a different problem. I worry about what to wear. I have not been to rapture before and I...

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Life Imitates Arty

(0) Comments | Posted November 1, 2013 | 5:05 PM

Like the Red Queen, a political satirist must run swiftly to stay in place; today's parody becomes tomorrow's reality.

A while ago, I advocated political realignment, replacing the Republican and Democratic parties with two new parties, The Fools and the Knaves. My purpose was to mitigate voter confusion by making...

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Movie Review: Fiscal Crisis V

(0) Comments | Posted October 21, 2013 | 11:52 AM

In the 1990s D.C. Productions launched its blockbuster franchise with the megahits Fiscal Crisis I and Fiscal Crisis II. These gripping, suspenseful films pitted two philandering and mendacious politicians in epic struggles. In the end the president, a charming rogue played by Bill Clinton bested the house speaker, portrayed as...

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Clifford Threatens Default Unless Pageant Defunded

(0) Comments | Posted September 26, 2013 | 5:13 PM

Stock markets plummeted today in reaction to Steve Clifford's ultimatum that he would default on his debts unless the NFL defunded Super Bowl Halftime Pageants.

Citing polls that revealed over 90 percent of Americans think Superbowl Halftime Pageants are meretricious, jejune, and nugatory, Clifford stated, "The freedom loving American...

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Can Bill Clinton Handle the Competition?

(3) Comments | Posted August 27, 2013 | 5:57 PM

The New York Times recently reported, "Bill Clinton earned $17 million last year giving speeches, including one to a Lagos company for $700,000."

"I am going into the speech business," I told my wife, Judith.

"What makes you think you can succeed at that?" she asked.

"Bill Clinton made...

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