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Steven Clifford
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Steven Clifford was CEO and President of King Broadcasting Company.

Entries by Steven Clifford

'Make America White Again!'

(0) Comments | Posted May 24, 2016 | 12:00 AM

We're going to make America white again. It will be fantastic. It will be super-super-classy. Like my hotels. I build the best hotels in the world.

It will be so easy to make America white again because I know how to build things. That's what I do. I also know...

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Keeping Up With the Gossip

(0) Comments | Posted May 19, 2016 | 4:42 PM

This blog has failed to engage millennials. Retweets, organic pages views and out-of-network page likes are abysmal among this the coveted group. Starting today, I jettison humor and address the only subject that resonates with the 18-34 demographic--gossip about the Kardashians:

  • Splitsville for Kylie Jenner and Athletic Superstar:...

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Get Ahead of the Curve

(0) Comments | Posted April 21, 2016 | 10:33 AM

By late October, the prefix "multi" will be ousted by "tri." For once in your life, get hip. Start using "tri" today. You may be allowed to eat with the cool kids.

Multi is passé, démodé and mélange. When a company such as Comcast launches a "multifaceted program to improve...

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Catholic Bishops Oppose Garland

(1) Comments | Posted March 18, 2016 | 3:44 PM

Opposing the nomination of Merrick B. Garland to the Supreme Court, the American Conference of Catholic Bishops endorsed Senator Mitch McConnell's plan to refuse to consider the Obama nominee. "Garland's appointment would radically alter the religious balance of what has historically been a Catholic Institution," New York Cardinal Timothy Dolan...

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An Idea Whose Time Has Come

(0) Comments | Posted March 11, 2016 | 7:02 PM

"All truth passes through three stages," the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer stated, "First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."

Such is the experience of American political reformers-- abolitionists, suffragettes, civil rights leaders and now me.

Four years ago, I...

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The Gospel of Timothy

(0) Comments | Posted February 2, 2016 | 1:42 PM

Biblical scholars believe fragments discovered in 2012 in a cave at Horvat Susita near the Sea of Galilee are parts of the Gospel of Timothy, written around 40 C.E. shortly after Jesus' death and resurrection.

If true, these fragments would constitute the oldest Christian writings in existence. The Epistles of...

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Trump Widens Lead With Peegate

(2) Comments | Posted December 23, 2015 | 3:59 PM

Commenting on Hillary Clinton's bathroom break in the last Republican Debate, Donald Trump said, ""I know where she went -- it's disgusting, I don't want to talk about it. No, it's too disgusting." Later Trump charged that, "It's more appalling than Watergate, Monicagate, Travelgate, Benghazigate, emailgate, Rosebillingate and Troppergate. Peegate...

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Columbia to Change Name, Mascot

(0) Comments | Posted December 7, 2015 | 2:56 PM

Bowing to demands from faculty and students, Dr. Richard Simpson, Dean of Columbia College, announced that Columbia's sports teams would no longer be nicknamed the Lions.

Feminists had denounced the use of Lions as a nickname and mascot. "Lions are serial rapists and baby killers," charged Meghan Jensen, president...

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Iraq Again (With the Beach Boys)

(0) Comments | Posted November 23, 2015 | 12:21 PM

"Do It Again"

It's automatic when I
Talk with neo-cons
The conversation turns to
Invasions we used to spawn
When we were greeted as liberators
And tortured Iraqi perpetrators
And the Green Zone
Was the place to go

Mission Accomplished on

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Time to Get a Job

(0) Comments | Posted October 27, 2015 | 6:26 PM

Having been ungainfully unemployed for the past 15 years, I yielded my wife's pleadings to apply for a job. This morning I sent off five job applications:

Hays Woodford, Chairman of the Board, Save the Young Children

I hear that Save the Young Children, America's largest faith-based organization, is seeking...

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Jeb Bush to Rebrand

(1) Comments | Posted October 16, 2015 | 8:11 AM

Trailing badly in the polls, Jeb Bush's campaign has decided to rebrand. Beginning Monday, Bush will have a new tagline: "Jeb?" will replace "Jeb!" "The question mark asks everyone to take new look a Jeb," said Kristy Campbell, Bush's Press Secretary.

The campaign will introduce a new logo, type...

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Outrage Over MacArthur Genius Awards

(0) Comments | Posted October 1, 2015 | 2:51 PM

In a stunning stub, the MacArthur Foundation once again overlooked Steven Clifford in awarding their $675,000 "genius grants."

"This is an insult to all thinking people in America," said Phyllis Fletcher, Professor of Media Studies at the University of Wisconsin. "Clifford is a national hero for revealing that outsize CEO...

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Republican Candidates Agree on Military Spending

(0) Comments | Posted September 22, 2015 | 1:22 PM

Aside from who could bring America closer to war on "day one," Republican candidates in their recent debate initially jockeyed to demonstrate who could spend more on the military:

Fiorina: We need the strongest military on the face of the planet... 50 Army brigades, we need about 36 Marine battalions,...

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Hillary Clinton to Show More Humor and Heart, Aides Say

(0) Comments | Posted September 9, 2015 | 4:21 PM

There will be no more flip jokes about her private email server. There will be no rope lines to wall off crowds, which added to an impression of aloofness. And there will be new efforts to bring spontaneity to a candidacy that sometimes seems wooden and overly cautious.

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Disenfranchise Straight White Males?

(0) Comments | Posted August 3, 2015 | 2:09 PM

Donald Trump's lead in the Republican presidential polls has reignited the debate on the most emotionally charged question in American politics today: Should straight white males, called "Swims," be allowed to vote?

"Over 92 percent of Trump supporters are Swims. This is prima facie evidence that Swims are so irresponsible...

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The Practice of Mindlessness

(0) Comments | Posted July 1, 2015 | 5:18 PM

Mindlessness is no longer a fad. It has become a way of life for millions of Americans. The worlds of business and self-help are enraptured over mindlessness meditation. Organizations as varied as the Air Force, Microsoft, Columbia University and the Gambino Family offer mindlessness training for employees.

The world is...

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Unfair Competition

(1) Comments | Posted February 27, 2015 | 6:43 PM

As a satirist I struggle to compete with reality. Last week, after declaring that, "There were mistakes made in Iraq," and "I am my own man" Jeb Bush announced that Paul Wolfowitz was one of his foreign policy advisers. I immediately ceased drafting a blog about Jeb Bush's cabinet. How...

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Finding Truth in Madison, Wisconsin

(2) Comments | Posted February 18, 2015 | 7:58 AM

Ridiculing Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker for proposing to replace the "search for truth" with "meet the state's workforce needs" in the University of Wisconsin's mission statement was the initial plan for this blog.

I assumed there was copious evidence of Wisconsin students and faculty repeatedly searching for, and successfully finding,...

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A Line in the Sand at 47 Percent

(1) Comments | Posted February 3, 2015 | 1:24 PM

There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe that government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe...
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A List of Lists

(0) Comments | Posted January 28, 2015 | 12:00 AM

My data analytics consultant informs me that I am not trending, especially among millennials. She suggests I publish lists since millennials click on lists. Being data-driven, I am test-blogging potential lists. Through a new app, I will record and analyze your galvanic skin response to each list below:


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