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Steven Cohen

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The Benefits of Tolerance

Posted: 05/14/2012 10:15 am

The campaign for the American presidency is serving to remind us of how much the world has changed in the half-century or so since we entered the 1960's. An African-American President tells a part of the story of the civil rights struggle that many associate with the 1960's. Vice President Biden and President Obama's policy pronouncements on gay marriage last week focus attention on another key struggle for respect and equal rights. The reaction against Mitt Romney's high school bullying is also part of a story about the changing role of verbal and physical violence and its prevalence in our culture.

It is easier to describe this change than to understand its causes. When I was a kid growing up in Brooklyn, getting into physical fights was not an every day event, but it certainly happened. Fortunately the weapons were fists rather than guns. Back then being a parent was a status that people had. Today, parenting is a verb. It's something you do in addition to something you are. Parents don't just open the door and let their kids play out on the streets, they take their kids to play dates and work hard to ensure that their children's experiences are rewarding and safe. The phenomenon of "helicopter parents" hovering over their children is an extreme version of this, but the pressure on parents to constantly supervise their children is an undeniable element of American culture in the 21st century. Although I doubt very much that children live riskier lives today than when I grew up, the explosion of media ensures that all of us know and feel pain whenever we learn of children who are lost or harmed.

When I was growing up there was an almost off-handed sexism, racism and homophobia in the language and behavior of many Americans. This continues, but it is not as prevalent in this century as it was in the last one. Racism, sexism, homophobia and xenophobia were nearly as common in New York City, with its recent immigrants and large minority population, as they were in other parts of the United States. I know it took me most of the 1970's to shake loose the outward manifestations of those attitudes and somewhat longer to truly change. Feminist, gay and African-American friends called me on my attitudes and taught me about the impact of my speech and behavior. I wonder if Mitt Romney had the same experience, or was somehow isolated from the forces of social change in the 1960's and 1970's.

Even if Mitt was not affected by those times, I suspect that what happened to me also happened to many people throughout the U.S. Images in the media of fire hoses and dogs attacking African American children made John Kennedy and many others see civil rights as a moral issue. Violence against women, gay people, and children could no longer be kept in the shadows but found their way to film, television and now to the Internet. Today, the comfort of the arrogant in-crowd culture that led to a prep school hazing led by Mitt Romney might not end up with laughs over beers in a dorm room; but to a dressing down in the headmaster's office and a discussion of bullying. This all would have followed the video of the beating going viral on YouTube. We are less tolerant of those who impose physical and psychological pain on others, and we are becoming more tolerant of diversity. So it was not surprising and even a little reassuring when last week, the President of the United States went on national TV and said:

"I have to tell you that over the course of several years as I have talked to friends and family and neighbors, when I think about members of my own staff who are in incredibly committed monogamous relationships, same-sex relationships, who are raising kids together; when I think about those soldiers or airmen or marines or sailors who are out there fighting on my behalf and yet feel constrained, even now that 'don't ask, don't tell' is gone, because they are not able to commit themselves in a marriage, at a certain point I've just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same-sex couples should be able to get married."

The impulse toward toleration and diversity is countered by a tendency toward fundamentalism, and an effort to secure the borders of one's community and nation from outsiders. So we see the anti-totalitarian hope of the Arab Spring, followed by the ascent of those seeking to establish an Islamic state. In this country, we observe increasing public support for gay rights but also see anti-immigration policies on the political agenda. Still it's obvious that American social gatherings and professional settings are increasingly diverse. The social acceptance of diversity is strongest among the young and changing far more rapidly than our legal and political structures.

When I look to understand the causes of these changes, I see two connected trends. The first is the rapid advance in the technology of communication, transportation and information. The second (largely caused by the first) is the growth of the global economy. Barry Commoner, referring to the Earth's ecosystems, once said that "everything is connected to everything else." Barry was right, but it's not just a law of ecology -- in the 21st century it's also a law of economy, politics and society. The downside of this is that there is no longer any privacy. Walking from my office to my home I am probably videotaped by a dozen or more security cameras. The upside of this is that it is nearly impossible to hide oppression. Everyone with a smart phone is a potential reporter. In 2012, a gay couple raising a child is not an abstract theory, but the theme of a sitcom and a neighbor's family you are sharing a meal with on a Friday night.

Which brings me to the very interesting point made by James B. Stewart in an excellent piece published this past weekend in the New York Times. Stewart observed that "gay marriage bans may come at a price." Stewart cites a recent Brookings report written by Richard Florida and Gary Gates which concluded that in the United States cities with high concentrations of gay people and foreign-born residents tend to be centers of high technology. There appears to be a relationship between an environment that fosters openness and creativity and the ability to nurture high-tech businesses.

If the currency of the high-tech economy is brainpower and its application to problem solving, a place that can attract the best brains is going to be one that tolerates every trait but stupidity. And since you never really know where brainpower will come from, you've got to welcome everyone. If a government frisks immigrants and bans gay marriage, gay people and immigrants will try to live somewhere else. If artists and creative people are treated as outcasts, they will also try to move away. In an economy built on knowledge, innovation and creativity, places that are run by anti-foreign, gay-bashing fundamentalists are at a disadvantage. That is as true for Iran and as it is for North Carolina.

Finally, there is the issue of what some call "the broad sweep of history." The world economy and the Internet are bringing people into closer daily contact. Jets, trains and autos are making us more mobile and exposing all of us to many different people and places. Our gender, race, sexual preference and nation of origin are all part of who we are. But so too are an increasing range of shared images and experiences: that guy dodging the tank in Tiananmen Square, and the tank driver who wouldn't run him over; the sight of the World Trade Center collapsing on 9/11; and that first view of the bright blue planet earth as seen from outer space. Unless we blow ourselves up first, the world community will continue to grow closer together. President Obama knows that in the long run he is on the right side of the issue of gay marriage and I suspect Romney knows he is on the wrong side of this issue. The only uncertainty is how and if its short-term impact might influence the November election.

 

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The campaign for the American presidency is serving to remind us of how much the world has changed in the half-century or so since we entered the 1960's. An African-American President tells a part of ...
The campaign for the American presidency is serving to remind us of how much the world has changed in the half-century or so since we entered the 1960's. An African-American President tells a part of ...
 
 
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Bufford P Tusser
Impeach this!
01:11 PM on 05/15/2012
As attitudes evolve, (or don't in the case of most righties) with regard to issues like gay right's and immigration, the GOP is getting left in the dust.

They've manipulated the gullible and fearful for decades with bogeymen and scapegoat's for political gain.

It's really all they have left now that the myth's as to there "keepin us safe" and "fiscal acumen" have been exposed as things they do very poorly.

They are in their last, desperate throws.

And it ain't pretty.
08:47 AM on 05/15/2012
If President Obama understands that gay equality is on the right side of history, he sure has a funny way of showing it. What people keep glossing over is the simple fact that Obama declared 30 million gays under "state's rights". Mr. Cohen, you surely know what those words mean...

You mention the dogs and water canons in your article. I have been thinking a lot about that this last week. The fact remains that the men who unleashed the dogs on the protesters at Selma, and who opened up with the water canons, they were Democrats who said blacks should be under state's rights. Now we have other democrats saying that gays should be under state's rights.

All of you backing Obama on this like to think your liberal, but you are showing who you would have stood with in the 60s. Your facing your moment of choice, with the civil rights of twice as many people in the balance, and you are glossing over 30 million people being consigned to second class status forever.
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khemphill17
Games lubricate the body and the mind.
12:48 PM on 05/15/2012
I politely disagree, first off your numbers are low...and second I stand with Obama because I respect him as a president and a person. He is standing up for our rights as he can...it is not up to him to inflict law on everyone. His branch is the executive branch, not the legislative branch. That is not his job. He understands that, I understand that, but it appears you do not. The course of this fight is like the fight you mention...in the hands of the Supreme Court. They will be the ones to break down the barriers, and I am happy to push and shove and fight for my rights towards that goal. But to blame the president for doing what he can and being brave while doing it...I think not. I always laugh at how Republicans claim so vehemently to be the party of less government, but all they put forth is more forms of legislation to control people. While Democrats understand that these excessive laws go nowhere and eventually will fail the test of the Constitution. I happily stand on the right side of history, with my president.
01:42 PM on 05/15/2012
Khemphill, you simply ignore the point made, and repeat the original assertion. Please address yourself to the fact that Obama's position is identical to Romney's position. Both of them claim that in their hearts they think gays should be treated equally, and both of them say gay equality falls under states rights.

Far from standing with the President on the right side of history, you are standing with Bill Connors, unleashing the dogs on Martin Luther King when he insisted that equality is under federal protection. The guys who unleashed those dogs were also democrats, and they freely said that they thought blacks should be equal in their hearts. Go watch the films on history channel. You'll see that my comments are factual.

Obama saying he is for gay equality in his heart, while he throws 30 million gays under the bus of state's rights, is the biggest "bait and switch" in Presidential history. It pulls the rug out from under the entire civil rights movement. And don't kid yourself, it won't stop with gays. If this stands rights are going to unravel from here on out.
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marignymitch
E pluribus unum percent
05:34 PM on 05/14/2012
Tolerance? My faith is in the 14th Amendment.
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Llib Noswad
aka: Bill, Conservative
04:36 PM on 05/14/2012
Tolerance is great as long as you don't tolerate away the morals of mankind.
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traceymarie
the President is black, deal with it
11:28 PM on 05/14/2012
who decides the morals? the entrenched theocrats who eskew any and all new ideas and thinking, no thanks
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Carl Caroli
I just don't understand people
04:06 PM on 05/14/2012
Things were much different back then. Many us grew up with intolerance's to anything that didn't fit into our cultural background. I'm not proud of that. But I am proud that I grew up, in a sense. Learning to accept, respect, and give people the dignity they deserve without question, regardless of my personal position on issues. Why it's so hard for most Americans to do that is to be blamed on politicians who use it to their advantage. We should not allow ourselves to be used for political advantage. Think for yourselves, America.
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xscd
Bemoaning the endangered GOPosaur
03:48 PM on 05/14/2012
Excellent thoughts, Mr. Cohen. Thanks for expressing them. My own belief is that everyone should be able to marry the person they wish to marry, which means allowing for same-gender marriages while not mandating them. In other words, heterosexual people and homosexual people would both have exactly the same (hopefully Constitutionally guaranteed) freedom with respect to marriage.
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bluedog24
< I'll vote Republican when...
01:32 PM on 05/14/2012
I don't agree that this is an issue of tolerance. To me, it is a equal rights issue. Why should people whose relationships are "traditional" have advantages not afforded to others? It is about treating every citizen the same regardless of race, religon, or sexual orientation. You will have intolerance as long as there are humans on the planet, but the US should not tolerate inequality.
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Bart DePalma
Bart DePalma
12:51 PM on 05/14/2012
This is not an issue of tolerance.

It is not ilegal for homsexuals to oarticipate in a "marriage" ceremony, to exchange rings and kisses and then proclaim to the nearest police office that they are married. The officer will likely congratulate them and move on.

This issus is whether government should redefine civil marriage to extend its recognition and subsidies to homosexual unions. Supporters of SSM are making a demand of society, not complaining abput societal persecution.
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StevenWells
Objects in the avatar are larger than they appear
02:24 PM on 05/14/2012
- This issue is identical to that of whether government should have redefined civil marriage to extend its recognition and subsidies to interracial unions. Supporters of interracial marriage were making a demand of society, not complaining about societal persecution. -

If you can't make those statements with equal conviction, then those you made have no logical or ethical weight.

And if you can, they have no historical or legal weight.

I frankly don't care about "tolerance." The issue is one of equal treatment under law, regardless of either race or gender. There was no valid state interest in discrimination based on the former 45 years ago; there is no valid one based on gender now.
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MyResponsibility
Action over hope
02:55 PM on 05/14/2012
No, it is nothing like interracial marriage.  The differences between two men of differing races is merely superficial, while the differences between a man and a woman of any race are profound.  Take a bunch of black and white nuts and bolts - which is more important to the functional design of a nut and a bolt - that black nuts be matched with black bolts or any color bolt be match with any color nut?

Equal treatment under the law - as it stands in North Carolina today - no man may marry another man, no woman may marry another woman - this is absolute equality.  

Using the interracial or equal rights argument is simply wrong.  The correct argument is that government shouldn't be in the business of endorsing our relationships...period. We are capable of making that decision ourselves.
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Bart DePalma
Bart DePalma
05:57 PM on 05/14/2012
The anti misegination laws made tradtional marriage between a man and woman of different races a crime.

Marriage itself was criminalized and not redefined as with SSM.

There is thus no comparison between the two.
pavementends42
Micro-bio is a study, not a blurb.
04:39 PM on 05/14/2012
You say 'redefine' as if it would somehow effect anyone other than those who enter into these unions. It doesn't. It shouldn't be restricted because people are 'uncomfortable' with it, for no apparent reason, other than a prevailing attitude with no rational basis. It is like a phobia, in that respect. And by that definition, is irrational, baseless and most definitely unconstitutional.
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WhyBeadNormal
I live by the Golden Rule...
10:00 AM on 05/14/2012
I enjoyed this article and support what you said. I tell people all the time that I am tolerant....always have been. My father was in the military and we moved every single year. This exposed me to many different cultures and ways of living that I would not otherwise have seen. I have extended family members who are very narrow minded and I believe that traveling the world has helped me embrace all cultures without prejudice. If I had stayed in the small town I might have been brainwashed and undeducated like many that are still there today and extremely bigoted. I doubt it though because my mother has always called me a "bleeding heart" because I am always fighting for the underdog. I just don't believe I'm better than any other person. I might be better at certain tasks but as people, we are all the same. We all bleed red when we get cut.