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Steven Denlinger
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Entries by Steven Denlinger

Sir Knavely and the Great Stimulus Package

(1) Comments | Posted July 24, 2009 | 9:28 PM

"I'm bitter," Sir Knavely told me.

He raised his glass and drank. His furry chin went deep into his Tiger's Milk. Then he set it down.

"Why are you bitter?" I asked. I wondered why Sir Knavely had demanded this secret meeting with me. I looked around at the...

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Go home, Eeyore - send out Tigger!

(8) Comments | Posted February 15, 2009 | 6:28 AM

I'm annoyed at Eeyore right now. Or maybe I'm actually talking about his brothers - who all went into government. Some of them now go by the names of Mitch McConnell, Eric Cantor, and John Boehner.

These are people who can only see the negative, who are...

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Dear Sarah Palin, Please leave - we don't need your sort in Ohio!

(21) Comments | Posted October 20, 2008 | 6:53 AM

In the old days of the West, when someone did irreparable harm to a community, the Sheriff took the culprit to the edge of town. He told that person to leave, never to return.

Ohioans need to do the same with Sarah Palin. Firmly, politely, and kindly.

Since no...

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Of Wannabe Sith Lords and Maverick Politicians

(11) Comments | Posted October 1, 2008 | 12:35 AM

A FRIEND recently sent me an email that expressed his frustration with the bailout plan:

"I was talking with a businessman on Sunday (Ventura way), and he said that if there was no bailout there would be a repeat of the depression," my friend wrote me. "NO THANKS!"

No...

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Obama: Of Viral Emails, Race, and the Muslim Factor

(12) Comments | Posted September 25, 2008 | 4:11 AM

Yesterday, a close friend from Ohio sent me an email. Then she called to ask me what I thought of it. So I opened the email and read it.

It listed a series of 13 historical events, starting with Bobby Kennedy's death in 1968 - "shot and killed by...

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"Dear Sarah Palin: When the Myth Becomes Legend, What Should We Print?"

(9) Comments | Posted September 22, 2008 | 1:23 AM

THE PRIDE WORM

Power's a funny thing. It's like one of those worms on the television show House, which goes in through your upturned nose and invades the brain. It goes straight to the ego portion of the brain, which is fused to the decision-making center. And the Pride Worm...

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MEMO TO BUSH: Declare War on Stockbrokerism

(4) Comments | Posted September 20, 2008 | 1:21 AM

Imagine this situation: Russia attacks America, and in order to teach the world what happens when you try attacking America's Mighty Might, we attack...POLAND.

I mean, Poland's kind of in the same neighborhood, right? It's a bit east of Western Europe.

Funny, huh? Almost a joke, right? Not so much....

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Secret Memo From Bush: "Don't Throw Up Just Yet!"

(25) Comments | Posted September 14, 2008 | 6:07 PM

Do you remember what it feels like to get carsick or seasick? You need to throw up, but you don't want to because it's so painful? So you avoid it, trying to calm your nauseous stomach? And then finally you just can't put off the inevitable?

I think that's what's...

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NEWSFLASH TO OBAMA: It's the Message, Stupid

(38) Comments | Posted September 6, 2008 | 7:34 PM

Yesterday, a friend emailed me an article from Credo Action. The writer was offended by Governor Sarah Palin, who said in her convention speech that "a small-town mayor is sort of like a `community organizer,' except that you have actual responsibilities." This is a "direct affront to the thousands who...

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DEMOCRATS TAKE WARNING: McCain just closed the evangelical vote

(32) Comments | Posted August 30, 2008 | 10:39 PM

I was in England the last time a Republican candidate threw red meat this raw and bloody to the Conservative Right. It was the summer of 1988. George H.W. Bush had looked too liberal to the evangelical wing of the party. He had to do something to let them KNOW...

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Memo to Obama: Hire the Terminator!

(0) Comments | Posted August 20, 2008 | 10:58 PM

Democratic leaders are not-so-privately wondering if Obama has the cojones to beat John McCain in the election. They fear he's just a kitty cat, and some of the superdelegates are thinking of changing their vote. Can't have that.

So I'm sending Obama this memo. It suggests four ways to...

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Eminent Domain

(6) Comments | Posted March 29, 2008 | 1:17 AM

WHEN I WAS FIVE years old, I desperately wanted to learn how to read.

Part of this need was due to the house in which my family lived - an ancient lath-and-plaster construction my parents obtained when the State of Ohio declared eminent domain over a portion of land...

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Let Justice Roll Down

(4) Comments | Posted March 21, 2008 | 3:13 PM

"I WAS ABLE TO JEW that guy down to $85," I announced to my father.

I was a young man, and I had just convinced a salesman to cut the price of my purchase in half. It was a momentous event, and I had gone home in triumph to...

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Sacrament of Fear

(1) Comments | Posted March 14, 2008 | 4:45 AM

The novella 'Coming to Los Angeles: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love This City' concludes this week as a serial.

THURSDAY MORNING I AWOKE at 4 A.M. I lay there for a minute in the dark. Something felt off, and I couldn't sleep. Fear had reached into my...

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Bartering My Future

(0) Comments | Posted March 7, 2008 | 2:43 AM

The novella 'Coming to Los Angeles: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love This City' continues as a serial this week.

I got off the airplane at LAX, collected my bags, and eventually stepped through the sliding glass doors onto the sidewalk. Around me, frenetic travelers moved through the...

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The Pain of Caring

(0) Comments | Posted February 28, 2008 | 11:06 PM

The novella 'Coming to Los Angeles: How I learned to stop worrying, and love this city' continues as a serial this week.

MY FRIEND Kimberley Melin's automobile accident and the resulting coma transformed me. As August 2000 rolled into September, I slowly began to realize that my world had changed.

...
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Microscope of Grief

(2) Comments | Posted February 22, 2008 | 3:22 AM

The novella 'Coming to Los Angeles' continues as a serial this week.


WHEN DID I BEGIN to let them still the emotional core of my artistic nature?

I must take responsibility for my own complicity in the act - no one forces a conservative Mennonite to remain....

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Coming to Los Angeles: Labyrinth

(1) Comments | Posted February 15, 2008 | 1:33 AM

The novella 'Coming to Los Angeles' continues as a serial this week.

Chapter 1: Labyrinth

IN THE FALL OF 1998, I was teaching in the North Canton City Schools in Ohio. I was following a career track that stretched out before me like a highway - at the end of...

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Coming to Los Angeles: How I Learned to Quit Worrying, and Love This City

(5) Comments | Posted February 8, 2008 | 6:19 AM

THE STORY I'M ABOUT to share with you over the next six weeks is true. It's personal.

The storyline is simple: a conservative Mennonite lad comes to Los Angeles, runs out of money, almost despairs. But then something happens, and his perspective changes.

This novella will be published as a...

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Driving with Joe Overholt

(2) Comments | Posted January 12, 2008 | 12:50 AM

WHEN I THINK back over my childhood, I remember one person who was truly unforgettable.

Within our community Joe Overholt was an authentic individual. He lived a life which broke all the rules. He was a gypsy, a lover of learning, a musician.

He never married, and thus had no...

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