09/01/2010 12:56 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

The Straight Nope: Big Glasses

The Straight Nopes are a collection of near daily critiques on cast-away style in modern American culture. Hopefully though the observation of these wayward fashions, and the correction that ensues, we can all do our part to repair some of what is wrong in our challenging yet optimistic world.

Case in point: Hipster.

After the v-neck nope, and now the big glasses, I feel we could just keep going with this and selectively nope every dumb youth trend until forever. It really seems endless. Then I start to think "Aw, c'mon. Let the youth have their day with goofy clothes, I know I did..." But then I think again and I realize, no I didn't. Not this goofy. I wore my jeans way too big for a bit. Not rave pants big by any means, but just a little baggy. I also would wear any free shoes, which means those old man airwalks have been on my feet. Aside from those two, It wasn't that bad. I did live in San Francisco in the early 90s when fuzzy backpacks and huge jeans first made the scene... and I made fun of it. A lot. I feel like the uber-hipster of today is this generations raver. The next style like ravers, hip hop, ska and rockabilly that is never going to go away. It'll just go niche, with 40 or 50 year-olds holding it down until the day they die. I guess that's how the world works.

But that doesn't mean we can't make fun of it, and these big glasses I am definitely making fun of. It's not even the style so much anymore, as the obviousness of wearing them. Nothing screams "I shop at American Apparel" like a pair. Not that I don't wear some AA t-shirts from time to time myself, but I'm talking about the people who get into the jumpers and tube tops and leggings. The harsh stuff. You always know fashion is a little too bent, when people are out in said fashion and everyone is staring at them. I saw these girls at Trader Joes the other day that were just that. They all had the big glasses on looking like some kind of tootsie roll owl fan club and it was interesting to watch older men and woman staring at them and thinking "what's up with those freaks that looked like they just jumped out of an aerobics video from the 80s?" I wanted to help out by butting into their thought process. "Oh them? They're just hipsters.. total dum dums". Not that dressing like that makes you dumb, but something about that style really attracts the not-so-bright. It also attracts the insecure... which is doubly painful. There is nothing worse than an insecure girl cross-armed in some crazy style. Renting not allowed. If you're gonna wear it... own it.

Or just get some normal glasses. There are all sorts of nice ones out there.