The Straight Nope: Urban Flops

The Straight Nopes is a collection of near daily critiques on styles that have gone astray in modern American culture. Hopefully though the observation of these wayward fashions, and the correcting that will ensue, we can all do our part to fix all that is wrong in a challenging yet optimistic world.

I would have to say my threshold for flip flops tends to be a lot higher than your average American opiner. Maybe it's the hours logged beachside, or that a classic pair of 'flops sans weird curves or athletic flourishes doesn't really bother me at all. Maybe it's because I like girl's feet. I don't know, but they just don't bother me that much as long as some douche isn't wearing them at a wedding with a suit, and quite honestly if it was a beachside wedding, I could totally be that douche.

But!

I really hate seeing flip flops in the city. Especially a worn pair on someone who is sliding off the sides onto the pavement. In New York, people are not afraid to city flop, and it's so gross. Maybe it's because they never knew the 'hood when a needle on the sidewalk wasn't a rare sighting, or a crack vile or a (yuck) condom. I admit that I'm a tad germaphobic. I usually try not to touch the railings in the subway or anything in a public restroom, but even still I don't think I'm being prudish with this prejudice.

People, I know the cities are feeling safer everyday, but they are still urban jungles and this isn't ancient Rome. I don't care if you want to walk around in just bikini undies...go for it. But cover those feet. Please. It's gross in Los Angeles also, where every sidewalk has been pissed upon by some Night Train drinking bum. Or puked or shit or all three. And you're going to let your loosey goosey flip flopping heels step on that all for the sake of showing off a cute pedicure? C'mon now. It's not right. Elevation is the key word here, and you can still flaunt the pristine cuticles.

Cover them up and save the flip-flops for more accommodating climes and get at least a Mary Jane of protection between you and the streets, because the streets are nasty, with a dash of gnarly and nothing to be sliding your feet upon.

 

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Comments

[jules1813]

01:38 AM on 08/08/2010

Finally!! A man after my own heart...thanks for writing this. Sooooo GROSS!

[Lena Collins]

10:13 PM on 08/07/2010

Love flip-flops, and I refuse to give them up. I'm sorry, but it's hot in Texas. I live in the 3rd largest metropolitan city in the US, and I see them everywhere. I even have a couple of pair with a wedge heel. I don't see what the big deal is.
You appear to be a germiphobe. Humans have managed to live with all of these germs for CENTURIES.
One thing that you also need to note: the human body is washable.

[Steven Nereo]

03:27 AM on 08/08/2010

http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/health/2009/08/11/2009-08-11_flipflops_are_a_magnet_for_dangerous_deadly_bac.html

[lee4713]

01:32 PM on 08/08/2010

It's hot everywhere right now. But there are plenty of other options. And it's not a question of being "washable" - it's being smart about your health.

[Arbo Cobra]

07:26 AM on 08/07/2010

I think the worst flip-flop offender is New Zealand. When the citizens here even opt to wear shoes (and believe me, I see *adults* strolling into the grocery store barefoot - in winter - everyday) they adore wearing their flip-flops, which they call jandals here, all the time. I think those are too casual and just sort of childish looking on an adult who expects to be treated like one.

Adults strolling through town with these dirty pieces of foam strapped to their feet look as ridiculous as people out and about in their pajamas. I don't think anyone should be forced to wear horribly uncomfortable garments just for the sake of decorum, but how uncomfortable are a pair of running shoes? How are a proper pair of sandals any warmer on your feet?

Everyone is free to wear what they please, but if someone is dressed in a slovenly and dirty way people might assume you are a slovenly and dirty person.

[Art Dodger]

11:31 PM on 08/06/2010

Thanks for the comments on the flip flops. I agree, having lived in NYC, one becomes germaphobic! When I went home after a day on the streets, I always took off my shoes at the door, and left them there--gross! I never would consider wearing flip flops on the streets of NYC. But I found that even in sunbelt AZ where I lived briefly, girls who wore flip flops walked in an ungainly way which indicated they were not getting any kind of support. Their feet were generally dirty, so even with an expensive pedicure, their heels were covered in black dust. Yuck! Flip flops are for the beach or pool side only!

[TheHedgeWitch]

05:59 PM on 08/06/2010

"Slippa's" is the nomenclature commonly used for Flip-Flops here in Hawai'i. Honolulu is the 10th largest metropolis in the US and a majority of it's sun-soaked denizens don the Bikini equivalent of the shoe for the primary reason that the air temperature suggests it, nasty sidewalks and all. Of course it is also not unusual to shop at Prada, Hermes, Channel, etc walk a few steps and then take your shoes off because the beach is literally right there. From the Island Paradise that never embraced the taboo of wearing white after labor day, who cares?

[Eris23]

03:09 PM on 08/06/2010

It's a heat thing, not a fashion thing, for many. Frankly, I don't see what the big deal is. Showers and soap exist for a reason.

[Blues02]

02:20 PM on 08/06/2010

Stay away from Austin. It's flip flop season all year round even when it's 40 degrees outside.

[texastrixie]

09:43 AM on 08/10/2010

State Shoe of Texas. But still hate to see them on people in offices.

[templedancer]

12:55 PM on 08/06/2010

I agree.....flip flops are for the beach.......what I think is vulgar is men who wear shorts...shorts are for boys not men, unless you're at the beach.